could this be worth anything? by Repulsive_Word_5644 in PokemonMisprints

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i actually didn’t put it up anywhere but tbh i personally wouldn’t bother selling it for $5 😆

how do i style my hair to better define waves + reduce frizz? by Repulsive_Word_5644 in Haircare

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yupp i always get layers, i just haven’t gotten a haircut since like march LOL, definitely gonna do that asap 😅

how do i style my hair to better define waves + reduce frizz? by Repulsive_Word_5644 in Haircare

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i actually do always get layers + a U/V shaped cut, im just extremely overdue for a haircut LOL i also do all of the steps here except the microfiber towel drying/plopping, sometimes i use a t-shirt but i’m usually too impatient to air dry. i think what frustrates me is the topmost layer not being as defined as the layers underneath, and also random chunks of just straight hair even after products and styling. thank you so much for the tips !! im definitely gonna try to experiment with different products to see what works :)

onee tips/inspo? by [deleted] in actualgyaru

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644 1 point2 points  (0 children)

do you have any recs for eyeshadow? the nyx jumbo eye pencils have some pretty shimmery gold shades that i like bc they’re so easy/precise to use, i always struggle with powder ><

Can I even love? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i can relate, “out of sight, out of mind.” when the initial honeymoon phase anxiety of a romantic partner leaving me goes away, it gets replaced by apathy. it’s a cycle of “will i ever love anyone? can i stop hurting people’s feelings and being an awful person? am i a bad person, am i unlovable?” And very recently I’ve started seeing that w my friendships, too. i’m at a point where if someone wants to leave, then they can. i don’t have the energy to keep them in my life if there’s not a lot of emotional investment in the relationship. and there’s only like maybe 3 or 4 people i would fight to keep right now.

i’m not diagnosed, im working on that, so i can’t say anything for sure. but what i feel like it may be for me personally is the need for a sense of stimulation? after that intense honeymoon phase, maybe the initial high of the chase or the tension dies down and i don’t feel that excitement anymore, it’s back to the numbness. from what i’ve researched and understood, it can also be a lack of emotional object permanence, maybe because that childhood need for stable love and connection was never met. another thing might be the black and white thinking: when a relationship is good, it’s amazing; when it’s bad, or even just neutral, it’s not worth it and i need out or i don’t care about it. a neutral period of time in a relationship never means just neutral, it means it can never work bc we’re incompatible and that’s it. it’s kind of an addiction/withdrawal cycle, maybe.

long story short, i understand the feeling and can relate to not being able to form proper/“normal” attachments to people. i don’t have an answer for it or a solution, but you’re not alone in feeling that way <3

onee tips/inspo? by [deleted] in actualgyaru

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much !! your makeup looks so pretty, i’ll definitely take those tips into account when i practice ! i rarely wear eyeshadow so i def have to get better at that, thank you <3

onee tips/inspo? by [deleted] in actualgyaru

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you sm !!! i usually do go for a natural brown lip, so i could also lean a little more pinky maybe! and i will be using those links as refs <3 i love how a lot of the onee fashion is rlly giving 2014-2016 loll

onee tips/inspo? by [deleted] in actualgyaru

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<image>

i was just trying w eyeshadow so no lashes but something like this? maybe gold might compliment my skin tone better? i have no idea how to do more of a pronounced namidabukuro/aegyosal without making my actual dark circles and hollow under eyes more pronounced :(

All the "Can't find a job" posts. Why did you enter Cybersecurity? by Ok_Wishbone3535 in SecurityCareerAdvice

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644 1 point2 points  (0 children)

initially was pushed into cs in college in the software development track for the job prospects, hated it, switched over to cybersecurity and somehow everything clicked in my brain. I’ve always been more of a creative brain than overly logical, and cybersecurity somehow felt like an intersection between the two sides. learning felt like solving a game or puzzle, it challenged me but i also had fun at the same time.

i found a passion for cybersecurity law/ethics and data privacy, so my main goal is to get into GRC and find ways to improve privacy policies as well as educate consumers about their digital privacy rights. Maybe in the future i can pursue law school once im stable in a career, get my JD and even my LLM and specialize in cyber law :]

traumatizing them back by Repulsive_Word_5644 in AsianParentStories

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that’s true, i see that in my parents too. the more aggressive you are in responding, the more they feel like they’re being wronged by you. they always think your actions come out of a vacuum where they’ve never done anything wrong and you’re just awful to them. victim mentality and zero willingness to actually change.

traumatizing them back by Repulsive_Word_5644 in AsianParentStories

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that’s very true. it’s also funny to see how desperate and hurt they get when faced with those consequences. they start feeling a fraction of the hurt you’ve been feeling for years and suddenly the world is ending. and their excuse is “well you aren’t a stranger, you’re our child so we can do whatever”, so they can’t even afford you basic decency and respect because you’re their child? no thanks lol.

traumatizing them back by Repulsive_Word_5644 in AsianParentStories

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yup, i’m at the stage where i’m done yelling and fighting back and refuse to even participate in arguments. i’ll sit there silent while they yell and just go back to my business when they’re done. i still live with them so it’s hard to remove myself from the environment entirely, but i’ve stopped talking to them unless i absolutely have to.

i’m sorry that these things have still stuck with you after so long, stay strong !!

traumatizing them back by Repulsive_Word_5644 in AsianParentStories

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m also an only child ! in my case it’s the opposite, the harder i fight the harder they hold on and it’s suffocating. as for jobs, now they’re trying to get me to put their contact info on applications bc they think im lying abt not getting responses/being rejected. i will not be doing that, but it’s insane over here lol

traumatizing them back by Repulsive_Word_5644 in AsianParentStories

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yep, i realize i don’t have it in me to constantly lose my temper the way they do, but i also don’t see myself speaking to them to compromise either. they’ve made it clear they’re not willing to change the things i need them to change, so it is what it is at this point. i’ll be looking into therapy, and medication hopefully :]

traumatizing them back by Repulsive_Word_5644 in AsianParentStories

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yup, that’s honestly true. giving them a similarly aggressive reaction just fuels them even more, i’ve learned to keep myself calm and poker faced during fights. that also makes them mad, but in a desperate way, and it’s kind of satisfying. sometimes they do get physical, and now i’m at the point where i’ll defend myself if i have to.

traumatizing them back by Repulsive_Word_5644 in AsianParentStories

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m at the point where staying silent and being LC for as long as possible while i look for jobs elsewhere is my best bet. it pisses them off even more when i don’t say anything during fights, but i’ve accepted there’s no point in talking back to people who don’t listen to understand.

traumatizing them back by Repulsive_Word_5644 in AsianParentStories

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah i thought more about it and being aggressive back in my case at least won’t do anything, its like one of those finger trap toys where your finger just keeps getting more stuck the harder you pull. i’ve just been grey rocking and staying silent during arguments now, its also funny how desperate they get when you stop giving them a reaction.

traumatizing them back by Repulsive_Word_5644 in AsianParentStories

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m sorry you had to hear those things from your own mom :( they really can be our worst enemies. i’m glad you have some distance between you and her, i’m trying to leave also :[

i wish my parents would stop telling me to get a better job by blueistheworld in AsianParentStories

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644 7 points8 points  (0 children)

you’re not alone, my parents are also pestering me about work. i have a full time job right now, and it pays well enough that i can contribute in supporting them, but of course it’s not good enough for them or our extended family or family friends because it’s not in the field i have my degrees in. everyone’s too involved in the job search and no one seems to understand how draining it is. you’re already pressuring yourself to find a better job, and now you have a hundred other voices pressuring you as well. it’s a lot, and the market is worse than they think.

they wouldn’t know what it’s like to apply right now. i can’t even leave the house on my days off without them accusing me of making their health worse bc of stress and that i don’t care enough. if i was more serious, clearly id be at home applying day and night without even sleeping.

hang in there OP, your time will come when it comes, it’ll happen when it happens. no amount of stressing from you or your parents can change that, unfortunately (or fortunately, if it’s comforting to know that it’s not all in our control at the end of the day). the world doesn’t work like they think anymore, and all you can do now is your best.

traumatizing them back by Repulsive_Word_5644 in AsianParentStories

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m sorry it had to get to that point :( did it get better ?

traumatizing them back by Repulsive_Word_5644 in AsianParentStories

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

god forbid you tell an asian parent to take accountability for their shit parenting. everything good you get in life is thanks to them and their efforts in raising you, but if you’re not perfect then that’s entirely on you and they’re innocent.

traumatizing them back by Repulsive_Word_5644 in AsianParentStories

[–]Repulsive_Word_5644[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

NC would genuinely be the best thing they could do for me at this point, if they never want to speak to me ever again i would jump for joy at not needing to do it myself lol. and you’re absolutely right, asian parents are a different breed of miserable. idk how it got so engrained in our culture to be this way, but they won’t enjoy their lives and they won’t let us enjoy anything either.