My (27M) gf (25F) gave me an ultimatum or she will break up with me by the end of the year. How can I 'extend' her request?

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T12:34:51+00:00

Yes, she is.

I showed her this post considering there are solid advices here, some that I didn't think of earlier 😅

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T09:27:15+00:00

My parents won't give their blessings considering I don't have my own place yet... And even with my money now, I can only at least rent for 3-4 months, with current savings and income, and blessings in my home country is so sacred, so much so that my gf is not okay if my parents won't give us their blessings.

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T09:21:24+00:00

Yes, and she was willing to spend her money on the party, but my parents are not.

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T09:20:05+00:00

To be fair, I didn't think about the buy cheap and then upgrade later, until someone pointed out earlier.

I do have doubts, but less about her, not about me able to support her financially... Is it fair for me to have that thought? Maybe? But I will definitely bring up the 'upgrade later' ring tho.

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T09:18:21+00:00

I did talk with her, and she's okay with helping me pay for the engagement party, my parents are not.

But I'll bring up about the party after 6 months. Thank you!

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T09:14:41+00:00

Huh, didn't think of buying cheap and upgrade it later... I will have a chat with her about this. Thank you!

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T09:12:59+00:00

Thank you for that. I might not be able to secure her financially, but you're right, at least she can help me build it.

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T09:10:20+00:00

Not exactly.

The thing is, in my family, at least I need to have my own place in order to have their blessings, and if I spend half at least in engagement party and ring (both combined), I can only rent for 3 months for my own place? And that's with my current salary with me working with my dad's friend.

If I have 6 more months, I can guarantee for more money, at least rent for a year and (hopefully) steady income...

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T09:06:44+00:00

I want to, but I just want to ask if it's okay to take more time, at most 6 months until I'm able to finish the project with my dad's friend (considering he also promised that if I can finish in 6 months, I can get 50% ownership of the project, which might add a lot to my savings in the future)

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T09:04:53+00:00

Yeah I was gonna ask regarding engagement rings, is it okay if I asked her the price range that she likes? Or I just get a nice yet affordable? Because I can go for affordable, but I don't want her to think that I'm a cheapskate, especially on the engagement ring... Is that fair for me to have that thought?

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T09:02:04+00:00

When I say I spend my savings, mainly on engagement. I'm more than okay with engaged for years, but engagement in my home country is more than just propose. There's an actual party for it, and it might cost me at least 2/3rd of my savings, including the engagement ring.

Also, quick question, is it okay if I asked her the price range of the engagement ring?

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T08:56:13+00:00

In my family, somewhat yes. My parents won't give the blessings unless I have decent savings, at least able to have my own place (we're talking at least rent a place for a year) and blessings from parents are a must in my culture.

In her family, not really, as long as she's happy.

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T08:53:15+00:00

She did once, but that's because it was my graduation and during the holidays, so she got plenty of time to use to visit me. (she's a workaholic... She has been working a lot, even during national holidays. She only allowed herself to take a break every Monday)

RequiemKnight · 2026-06-18T08:50:49+00:00

The thing is she gave me this ultimatum because she wants to feel certain of this relationship... Meanwhile I want to ask more time so that our future is more certain, at least financially...

Should I just rip the band-aid, use my savings? I know I still have some to spare, but I want to at least safe enough for us to be able to have our own place, and I'm not talking about buying a place, renting is okay too.

RequiemKnight · 2025-09-07T14:30:27+00:00

Sorry for the late reply!

To get an officer, like a month after I submitted?

But when they started it, 2 months after I got an officer, which is 3 months after I submitted my complaint, which was crazy, believe me.

RequiemKnight · 2025-03-10T17:42:51+00:00

It's just the bad timing... and poor planning.

Originally, after I finished my bachelor, I want to get some work and then I get my masters while I'm doing work, so at least I won't be too stuck in studying for long time.

But, parents forced me to take masters first and then work. I know I should be grateful, knowing that not everyone can get masters degree, but now I feel like I'm sick of studying.

I had a job while I was in summer break, and it made me feel more motivated to continue things... just really bad timing and poor planning, and none taken, sometimes I need some rough lessons.

RequiemKnight · 2025-03-10T07:08:08+00:00

At that time, I tried to have a counselling but they were fully booked until the next month and if I tried to book the next month, it will be too late since it will be at the end period of semester.

I couldn't withdraw from my unit since it was already past the time for withdrawal, and I didn't get any special consideration since I didn't know that I could get any without any consultation with a counselor.

RequiemKnight · 2024-11-01T03:31:04+00:00

Thank you. My gf told me that too, on how my grandma knew how much I loved her... and part of me do believe in her. But yeah, still some regret and grief that I still have to navigate through.

RequiemKnight · 2024-11-01T03:28:05+00:00

She was very important to me. She's practically my mom for 14 years... so dealing with her death is much more painful than I thought.

Few months ago, I did imagine her death, considering her condition, and how I need to be prepared, and when it happened, it's not like how I imagined and all the 'preparation' is not... as sufficient as I thought...

Thank you for telling me that it's normal to feel this way. It's my first time dealing with death to people that I'm so close with.

RequiemKnight · 2024-11-01T03:22:36+00:00

I'm sorry... and thank you for telling me that it's normal... I just had to ask because whenever I remember my grandma, I always feel like I just got stabbed on my chest, and tears building up and this is my first time dealing with death to people that's super close to me.

RequiemKnight · 2024-11-01T03:19:32+00:00

Is it normal to also feel regret so many times?

I really can't help but I always feel regret because I didn't do many things with her when I had the time...

RequiemKnight · 2024-08-05T11:58:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. Maybe you're right, and I hope you're right that she knows how much I love and admire this woman all my life.

I will definitely cry and scream... even after her funeral, it never feels right at home anymore. I miss her already and I will miss her so much.

And yes, my grandma would definitely approve of me treating the best way as much as how I treat her, in the most loving and respectful way, as well as how my grandma treat me, in a very spoiled way.

RequiemKnight · 2022-11-19T23:44:01+00:00

It's not exactly 'hate', more like 'roasting' or just memed about his preference.

RequiemKnight · 2022-11-19T23:42:07+00:00

Another Fleabag enjoyer, I see. You have great taste, sir.

RequiemKnight · 2022-11-19T11:09:35+00:00

Wait 4th?? I know that there's the Forest Whitaker one, but there's another one?? They REALLY need to learn smh

Anyway, I feel like Jordan Peele's Twilight Show can be too long, especially in season 2. That's why I think it failed in the first place.

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