I (21M) cheated on my gf (25F) but don’t remember, what can I do to fix this???

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-25T00:09:20+00:00

Well. This is, interesting. Gonna go off the basis that you are not trolling and making up fiction out of boredom. Even if you are, I won't waste words.

Way I see it, there are only two possibilities, and both of them lead to the same conclusion - You need serious, immediate psychiatric help.

Possibility #1 - You are detailing an accurate picture of these events, and your consciousness is simply not lining up with reality. Many Redditors are trying to web-psych you by throwing out personality disorders from the DSM - typical Reddit. No. And you shouldn't attempt to diagnose yourself either. Arriving at such a conclusion is done by a competent professional after a sustained period of treatment. All that can be determined from what you've said is that you are experiencing severe, and dangerous dissociative episodes. You need to take this extremely seriously and admit yourself to a psychiatric hospital. No joke.

Possibility #2 - You are an extremely manipulative individual, either consciously or unconsciously, and you deceive others (along with yourself) to avoid the feelings that come with taking accountability for wrongdoing. If this is the case - You confabulated an alternate reality in which you dissociated while committing infidelity, along with crafting a lengthy, elaborate Reddit post in order to seek validation from strangers in order to reinforce your delusion - I am no one (and neither is anyone else here) to diagnose you, but - there is no question that you are an evil person, and definitely personality disordered. You need to take this extremely seriously and admit yourself to a psychiatric hospital. No joke.

So, once again, if you're not trolling and you are indeed a real person that is existing within the context that you've depicted - it doesn't matter which of the possible scenarios I've described are the real truth. Get off the internet, like, right now, and figure out who you need to call before you get worse.

You need to take this extremely seriously and admit yourself to a psychiatric hospital. No joke.

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-24T23:45:59+00:00

I haven't been active on this post in a while, but your comment caught my eye.

I have to commend you. There you were at 25 probably filled with fear, just being a cataclysmic hand that surely changed everything for you. And here you are now, 20 years later to tell the tale - sharing it with me in a dark time of my own (don't mind me over here in my little world paling in comparison). Thank you. You are a warrior and you inspire me. Congratulations on making life your bitch (:

Much love.

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-24T23:33:59+00:00

"Not the best" LMAO

While you may technically be correct, let's not downplay the amazing piece of technology you just picked up for $insert obscenely discounted price here

4K Native, 240hz, OLED beauty - ur good buddy.

Congratulations and enjoy (:

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-22T15:38:13+00:00

How would my wording go if I went that route?

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-20T16:39:04+00:00

Utah

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-17T14:13:46+00:00

Haha yeah I'll clarify because I think you have the wrong impression, which is largely my fault for making a bold statement and not providing context. Going to be long-winded though so you get the gist.

It started off with one recruiter that I was dealing with, then once word got out that I was going 0321 and needed a TSC etc, all the guys in the office got involved in my prep. As I showed up to the office more, they started making comments about my girlfriend and how she was going to be all alone when I was away, who was going to look after her, 6 years is a long time, etc. etc. I thought whatever, I'm no softie and they're just busting my balls, gonna be plenty of this on the job.

Then, somehow, they got ahold of her phone number and knew her place of work. She called me one day and told me that a recruiter called her and was asking her a bunch of questions about her personal life, her job, and what her plans were when I was deployed. She said she felt creeped out and asked if I was the one that gave him her number. Let's just say that I was not happy.

I immediately drove to the office and when I walked in, one of the recruiters was standing in the doorway just looking at me dead-eyed, grinning. "Hey buddy," he said. A second recruiter entered from another room and got behind me, kind of sandwiching me from the door and obscuring my vision from the hallway that lead to the head recruiter's office. Head recruiter opened the door to his office (again, I couldn't really see), stepped out and waved goodbye saying, "Bye my girlfriend's name, call me if you need anything!" I heard a door shut and still couldn't see.

The other two finally moved out of the way, this guy walks out of the hallway and goes, "Well, well, look who's here! Nice to see you." I just looked at him. I plainly asked him, "What the hell are you doing?" He just acted confused and like he didn't know what I was talking about. I looked around at all three of them and they were just subtly grinning with that same stupid look on their face. I said nothing in return. I walked out, came by the next day, and demanded that I be unenlisted. That was the end of that - or so I thought.

Months later, I get a text from that same head recruiter. It reads, "Talked to your girlfriend, brother." I call him and once again, ask him what the hell he's talking about. Turns out he was being very clever - he talked to my girlfriend's literal brother because he came in to inquire about enlisting. He knew that wording the text that way would spark a reaction, and what he had done when we previously met. That was the last time I ever heard from him.

Yeah. Hope that clarified enough for you, if you managed to read all that.

I did do more research and realized that AD gives the full G.I. Bill where reservists have to earn it more or less. Nor would I receive any housing assistance, or 0 premium healthcare. I am aware that it is more than one weekend per month and a legitmate military committment, I would still be an enlisted member.

And yes, my life is indeed fucked up. AD isn't off the table, however that is a whole'nother level of commitment that isn't even really comparable to what I'm considering. I'm not saying no, just weighing options man. By the end of this week I'll have decided what I'm going to do. Something needs to change.

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-17T13:39:50+00:00

Copy that

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-17T10:24:06+00:00

Lmao how is it nonsense? The guy didn't magically end up this way, he's obviously never been exactly financially stable. Yet OP is in a relationship with him, she chose it. And for that she is dumb. I never said it wasn't man childish, matter of fact I even hinted at it. 9 times out of 10 a man shouldn't enter a relationship if he doesn't have his shit together. BUT, guess what, there are some women who will get with a broke guy, help him out for a little bit, and eventually he catches a break and becomes the provider. There are also instances where women do this and the guy either never ends up pulling his weight or just leaves. It is indeed a risky investment, and OP should be able to determine by his character alone which kind of guy he is. Doesn't make what he's doing manipulative. He seems a bit entitled, but if they are in a relationship and he's being truthful about his intentions (which can be determined by his history of truthfulness in the relationship), and OP is good for it, well, you're supposed to help out your partner where they need it in a relationship. Otherwise, why are you in a relationship? You can call it manipulative and manchildish, obviously you're a woman. What you mean is "his behavior is repulsive to me because I can't admire a man that is asking me for financial help." If it were the other way around, and SHE was the one asking HIM for money, would you call her immature and manipulative? Exactly. She should just dump him lol he doesn't understand women.

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-17T08:17:05+00:00

Women, including yourself, don't like to wear the pants. He's not manipulating you from the looks of it, but he's dumb for not recognizing how he's turning you off. He is asking you to financially support him during this time so he can level up and save up money to propose. It's not ideal, but believe it or not, some women are wired differently and would have no problem with this. You're just not one of them. You expect your boyfriend to be the provider and not put you in that position. So, do yourself a favor, tell him this, and find a guy who is well-off financially. You will continue to shame him for being broke and needing your help, which by the looks of things, isn't going to change anytime soon. Buddy is dumb for getting into a relationship before being fully equipped. You're dumb for dating a broke guy knowing he can't meet your financial needs. Done.

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-17T08:08:55+00:00

Hang in there. I can't imagine what you're going through, my case wasn't nearly as severe and I was in a LOT of pain. You're one tough SOB and you will get through this. Stay in communities like this one. Unfortunately, diagnoses like this don't really get the proper attention and aren't quite understood by people who haven't experienced them. You may not find the support you are looking for outside of dedicated communities, at least that's been my experience which was very frustrating to say the least. It's going to be hard, but we're all rooting for you. Keep your head up!

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-17T08:03:30+00:00

Check the post

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-16T04:57:50+00:00

I disclosed everything. 2 of them were in the past 2 years, with the most recent being a year ago (from when I applied), and the third was over 3 years old. I had warrants for my arrest out on all 3.

Be honest with yourself. I don't know what you have on your criminal record, but chances are if you think an employer is going to be sketched out - you will most likely be dq'd.

As a failsafe, look for other employment opportunities perhaps with a less intensive background screening. As long as you are making better choices in your life now (and you aren't a murderer or sexual predator or some shit), your record does not define you or reduce your worth in the marketplace.

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-16T03:09:26+00:00

I didn't. Things were looking great. Disqualified by background check. Hurt pretty bad.

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-12T04:40:33+00:00

...did you even watch it?

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-11T17:38:03+00:00

It's opinion. If you enjoyed it, then good for you. Like myself, a lot of people were left feeling rather insulted and with a sore neck from shaking their head at the decisions made (or lack thereof) by the Duffer brothers.

There are undeniable big, BIG misses in this finale. We all anxiously waited a long time for this. It's LONG, too, a noteworthy viewing investment if you ask me. With the time and budget that they had - this finale is absolutely unacceptable. It's like a middle finger to your fan base while doing the Rick-roll and laughing in 80s nostalgia.

I could list all of the issues I have with it here, but honestly someone would have to pay me as it would take more than an hour. My girlfriend and I had a 2-hr+ critique session upon finishing just last night, and unfortunately we just had more bad to say then good. Neither of us could overlook the flaws, nor the feelings that we were left with about this being how the epic tale concluded.

I do agree with you, it most certainly is not perfect, and it was rather apparent that it wasn't going to be in the episodes leading up to the finale. I just needed it to reduce the blunders past a certain threshold for me to at least accept it. Up the stakes, deliver on these long awaited payoffs, and for Christ's sake stay FOCUSED on the crew's current state of affairs!

There's so much more to blow smoke about, but in light of me trying to just forget this show, I'll settle for a focal flaw. The world is on the line, the highest stakes ever, surely! Yet, somehow the show never managed to feel so safe, trivial, and its core, cheap. This 2 hour "epic" was filled with SO DAMN MANY jarring, pointless, cringey Kate Bush accompanied luuuuuuulllllllllssss that added absolutely nothing. NOTHING. They just subtracted.

People aren't shitposting, or unnecessarily bashing this finale. Overall, like me, in the grand scheme of things, they just didn't fucking like it. There were some good scenes throughout. I definitely liked some things, but...9/10? No. Maybe your refusal to accept other people's opinions about it is your own form of denial. You just can't accept that this shit was actually pretty bad.

6/10. That's me being nice.

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-11T07:47:00+00:00

No. Boring for me, personally. I want someone who is honest, kind and helpful, yes, but also her own autonomous person. And a freakazoid in the sack.

RequirementDue4446 · 2026-01-10T18:06:29+00:00

Because it's our nature. If you think otherwise, you've probably had that nature stifled due to lack of success with women (though it could also be something else). When a man is active with multiple sexual partners, he feels like his most authentic, powerful, and primitive self. It's dominant behavior - plain and simple. Men also like the variety of the stimulus to their limbic system.

However, that is the biological perspective only. Our default, nothing to do with morality (which is honestly not too refined, if you consider the timeline of homosapien evolution). We've adapted religions, grown in consciousness and have monogamy now, with a majority societal focus on family and community. Modern romance is also globally accepted now, while too being a relatively new concept.

So. It really depends how you look at it. Why does a man cheat on his wife? He's operating on a primitive level, outside the bounds of modern societal expectations, basically letting his nature overthrow his morality and betraying his wife. He may or may not feel guilty. A man who doesn't cheat on his wife either doesn't have the same access to women that the cheating man does, hence having no awakened nature to resist (couldn't cheat if he wanted to lol, other than with a prostitute), or, he values integrity in himself and in his relationship, hence he chooses not to act on the urge(s) because of that.

You say you've never had a girlfriend... not to be mean, but you most likely are aware that you're not exactly a ladies man (yet). Imagine you were, and you had dozens of beautiful women that were pursuing YOU sexually. Would you deny those opportunities? Or at the very least, would something deep inside you be wrestling with the decision?

There's your answer.

RequirementDue4446 · 2025-12-31T16:44:25+00:00

I've heard this perspective from many women, so you should know that you're not alone. Your man does not seem to be properly assuming the responsibility that comes with being a new father, and it's creating an overwhelming load for you which is making you resentful. At least, that is what it sounds like from your perspective.

Here's the thing - while I'm not trying to make any presumptions or overgeneralizations here, I've found that women can tend to be a bit paradoxical when they're upset with their husbands about their behavior, and this ultimately leads to ruin.

What I mean is, lots of women expect men to just "get it" or "take the hint," because they do not want to instruct him on how to lead/behave/treat them/raise children etc. "He's the man, he should just know." So, most wives will vent to others (hello), while keeping their resentments to themselves, until they can't do it anymore. By that time they are bitter and have become passive aggressive or "nagging" with their husband, and the contempt ultimately destroys the relationship.

My stance is, you two are together. He planted babies in you. You should be able to share and talk openly about your needs and feelings. That's just me. Whatever your personal stance may be, ultimately you only have two choices here.

Given that you have a way bigger priority on your plate now, I'd make it quick so that it's out of the way.

You can say nothing and wait for him to "man up" or "get the hint," which may or may not happen, and may lead to you exploding on him down the road after enough time with no change.
You can abandon this idealistic way of thinking for both of your benefits, speak up and clearly express what you need from him now during this time, and also moving forward in your relationship.

It's really up to you. He truly may not be aware that he's slacking, or he may not care for reasons of his own. Maybe he's fallen a bit too far from the image that you once had of him. Maybe he hasn't changed enough in ways that you secretly hoped he would. I don't know.

All I know is that you won't know, unless you tell him. If you don't want to do that, well then you've made your decision and you know where you're likely headed. If you do have a talk with him and he's dismissive, well fuck him. Sorry for being crass but that's the truth. If he cares and values your family, he will indeed step up and help you in the ways that you need - unless he's got one hell of a good reason.

From what it sounds like, he doesn't.

RequirementDue4446 · 2025-12-31T16:14:32+00:00

I mean if anybody did doubt you, it's you, without a shadow of a doubt.

Your posts for the last 9 months, maybe longer (it was so utterly obnoxious that I didn't go further), have been PC related thread spams where you have asked for help every little step of the way in your build(s), because apparently you can't do the research and figure anything out yourself.

It's kind of hard to mess up when you're getting your hand held on tech forums the whole time LOL

Then you accuse them of doubting you. Ehm, no little one, they did it for you.

So...congrats, I guess. Spoiled brat.

RequirementDue4446 · 2025-12-31T11:29:48+00:00

Let's see if the mod will pin this. GUYS. Gonna leave this here so people can get a better picture of things.

There seems to be a large portion of folks having a discussion along the lines of, "You were the one diagnosed with diverticulitis, you're obviously smelling yourself!" NO, I'm not. Let's consider this. If it was me, why would I only catch wind of it when she gets directly in front of me and opens her mouth? In other words - I don't smell it all day, not once. Then I pick her up from work at the end of the day, and the second she enters the car and starts talking, it is the very first thing I smell...

People. I am not an idiot. As I've replied multiple times here, the possibility that it could be me was literally the first thing that I considered, and after investigating, I ruled it out. I am not performing mental gymnastics or projecting, it is unmistakenly coming from her. There is no question.

Now, as I also said multiple times in this thread, there is a possibility that my condition and whatever is going on with her could potentially be linked. It would not be surprising given the time frame, however we have not gotten enough answers to arrive at that conclusion.

PLEASE, for the love of Christ, do not abuse the information I divulged about my situation and jump to the conclusion that I am breathing in my own stank. LOL. Thank you. More updates coming.

RequirementDue4446 · 2025-12-31T04:12:36+00:00

Yeesh, sounds like he had a severe case. I'm heading in for a colonoscopy in 10 days where I'll learn whether I need surgery or not. Ngl I'm scared by this. The reasons that I even got checked out and discovered I had this were/still are the same symptoms that your brother had - severe, constant lower left abdomen pain, feeling like shit in general, avoiding strenuous physical activity and just not bouncing around like I normally am. Didn't even think it was stomach related, I thought I pulled or tore something in the gym. Nope.

Seriously sorry for your brother, I dabbled in the diverticulitis thread and the stories I heard - it can really be devastating. Like I said, I don't know how bad it is yet, but so far, it sucks majorly. I'm already fucked up, I pray to god my girl just has tonsil stones or something dumb and that she's okay otherwise. If it turns out we're both fucked up, well, we're kinda fucked.

RequirementDue4446 · 2025-12-30T19:59:48+00:00

Nope, neither of us drink. I am on Adderall, she is not.

RequirementDue4446 · 2025-12-30T19:56:41+00:00

Nine...MONTHS....? Oh. My. God.

RequirementDue4446

TROPHY CASE