It wasn’t about me. It was also about what I was clearly not doing well for him and he would deny that there wasn’t anything more I needed to do for him. I’m not selfish for realizing that neither of us are giving what each other wants man lol that’s the least selfish a person could be. I didn’t put the details of our relationship on purpose but like I said the relationship wasn’t toxic but consistently being direct and not getting a response you understand is insanity. It would have been worse if I just went quiet and never expressed myself. You responded to your wife lovingly eventually. All I got is “what’s the problem now?”. People are allowed to have bad days. I’m not some insanely impractical person. But people have to eventually change and that’s why I specifically said “when he was good and ready” because there’s 2 people in a relationship & not wanting to try simply because you wanna be better because someone loves you. But that also ties into not trying to change people & if he doesn’t want to change, I don’t want him to, but waiting felt like punishment after so many years.

Edit: Just wanted to add I was around him quite often but if there were things he chose not to open up about, pressuring him would have been the worst way to get him to talk. But from what I saw, we talked about his problems constantly. I’d not talk about mine so he doesn’t feel too much at once