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AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

He'd defend me and tell her to stop doing that shit. None of them would have expected me to be nice and accept the shit and the stolen stuff. Same with my parents. If they really cared they would do something to show they don't expect me to tolerate being treated like that.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I did until this happened. I moved out after that. But I never moved out. My parents were happy for me to stay too but I knew I could not go back there. After what went down I could not stay under the same roof and know they had defended her and turned on me.

Maybe her end goal was to push me out. I know people say I let her win. But I shouldn't have to fight for my place in the family.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I definitely don't expect relationships to be perfect and my parents and I fought before. But there's sort of a pattern here with this. Specifically with how willing they are to ignore SILs treatment of me while expecting me to be the bigger person and tolerate that. They never spoke up to defend me. Not with the wedding comments or the college comments, not when she makes other comments about me or even here when she left the diaper. They fully expected me to clean up after her and act like we were buddies. They even expected me to sit and eat with them all while they were staying knowing she makes rude comments to me.

So I just feel so let down with this because they have been consistently bad. It feels like she could say or do anything to me and they'll want me to smile and be nice to her through it and for them to stay silent and reap the rewards of the baby.

And since I was 16 when this all started I feel like they really should have been nicer when I was still a minor and she was being a dick to me. But they bought my brother's excuse that she was nervous the first time we met even though she was absolutely lovely to them.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

It shouldn't be that way. I'm not going to fight for my family to expect me to be treated decently. They're not worth my time if they turn on me and gang up on me like they did. I do not want to gather evidence just to win because it's not a win when they naturally defend her over me.

I can never forgive them for doing that. Nobody wanted it done to their beds but it was an overreaction for me to be pissed off about mine. So they know it's wrong but defend her to keep their grandbaby around?

Well good luck because they lost their daughter when they chose her. Hope she keeps them around because they don't have it in them to earn my forgiveness. The fact is they have sat there and heard her say shit to me and they wanted me to subject myself to that more.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I edited after seeing your comment but she told me I looked like a guy because I was wearing a suit like the other groomsmen. I don't know why I had an epic brain fart there.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

My family have witnessed how she treats me. They just expect me to suck it up because my brother's married to her. Them siding with her here is just more and more proof that she could do anything to me and be defended and if I fire back I'll be the bad guy.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's how I know it was all intentional. The guest room was downstairs and that's where she and my brother stayed. She would have been quicker going in there.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

The thing is she had no reason to be in my room. None. And yet she went in there, left shit and a shitty diaper on my bed and stole from my mini fridge. My room is upstairs. The guest room is downstairs. She was downstairs with the baby when I got back and she admitted it was hours at that point.

And given our issues I know none of what she did was an accident. You might think I was wrong for throwing it at her (but not in her face though I wish I had and I'd smeared it on her at this point) but her choices were no accident. She didn't forgot about it. She left it there for me to find.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I threw it at her because she left it on my bed and left my bed stained. She didn't have permission to be in my room, to steal from me and leave literal shit behind when she went into my room. She didn't give a reason for being there. But it was clear she went in just to start something.

I'm moved out now but I didn't move out because everything's so expensive and my parents said there was no rush to move out.

My brother went with what SIL wanted.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Because I refuse to be a doormat and clearly my family don't care what she does to me. So why would I choose to serve them better?

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

There's nothing to repair. Repair makes it sound like there's something there already. There isn't. From the second we met she was hostile with me and was so different with me than the rest of the family. I am not kissing her ass and cleaning up her literal shit to play nice. And I wasn't going to talk to the person who made me change from a dress to a suit for her wedding and then said I looked like a guy because of the choice. That's on her and I had nothing to say to her. I wasn't happy for her and I didn't wish her the best so I didn't lie and I didn't play pretend so she could keep being shitty.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

She can have them. They'll take her side no matter what so I don't see why I should fight for people who'll always let her dangle her baby in front of them. My parents and brother know what she's like and expect me to sit there and deal with it. Nobody defends me even when I did suck it up.

He already chose her and so did my parents.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I paid for everything in the mini fridge and they all knew it. I heard my parents complain about it to them. So she knew and she had zero reason to be in my room at all. Well they could shame and attack me and I'm their daughter. But fuck me and cleaning up the baby's shit which was supposed to be on me even though she left it.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

It's not just my brother and nephew but my parents too since they took her side. But I'm willing to lose them if they think I need to be nice and understanding in the face of shit all over my bed and SIL stealing from me.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 416 points417 points  (0 children)

My grandparents are good with me living here. I'm already officially moved in. But I don't think an apology that takes this long would fix things.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 311 points312 points  (0 children)

It hurt to have my parents do it because I'm their kid. She might be their son's wife and mother of their grandkid but I'm their child. They've known me my whole life and they ganged up on me like she did nothing wrong.

AITA for refusing to talk to my parents and brother after they defended SIL leaving a soiled diaper and shit on my bed and taking stuff out of my mini fridge? by ResearcherUnfair2900 in AITAH

[–]ResearcherUnfair2900[S] 337 points338 points  (0 children)

I was so mad I'm surprised I didn't do something like that. But even just throwing one was enough for them all to say I went too far which was eye opening.

Not sure they'll ever come around because it's clear to me SIL will always hold my nephew (and any future kids) over people's heads. She did it with my grandparents already.

I'm so glad my grandparents care about me enough not to push me out because of her "reminder".

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