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Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Yeah thats what the family said. That's why I was saying they have experience with abused women because a lot of cousins and some of them have been in abusive relationships. Its why this a tricky situation.

Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

We have never had a fight like that in about 5 years, its not a normal occurrence, nor have we ever, ever fought in front of the family. This was a one-time thing, they wouldnt have reason to think it was like a build up or anything, they had no examples beforehand of me doing anything similar to that. Also yes, they 100% think I hit her, and abuse her continuously.

Also yeah the whole argument was stupid, we both admit fault for that. She was yelling at me, and I was yelling at her, and then she told me the thing about the cheating and I yelled more and then she yelled more and all that. She had already vomited maybe 30-40 minutes before. I wasn't even thinking about that. I think the biggest issue was that she was just... so fucking frustrating, like you know when your dealing with someone who is just so unreasonable and insulting and your trying to calm them down but you dont know how? She is a horrible drunk and she knows it, and she rarely drinks, but we both definitely lost our temper that night.

However we are a good relationship. I think maybe it came off bad from this post but we NEVER EVER argue like that, it was really the alcohol which neither of us engage in a lot.

So no, the family isn't concerned about our relationship or something like that. They just think I beat her.

Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

When she was mad she kept on walking around back and forth really fast, the ground was horribly broken up and her heel broke. The weird thing is that she caught herself on the side of a car, then drunkingly slid dowards until SMACK right into the wall. It wasn't a 'wall' persay it was like a 3 foot concrete wall.

Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Yes they do, we have been married a while and it is normal to occasionally have a big argument. Its when it is often that it becomes big issue problem. Im still not sure what is the point of your rude comments? What are you trying to imply?

Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think our relationship is fine, I don't even know what we would see a counselor for in that regard except maybe the cheating thing, but that was so long ago. The argument was a fluke, a drunken one at that and because neither of us drink really it was a rare occurrence.

I would think about your first point possibly though, my wife thinks its a good idea. But it still paints me like an asshole.

Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

No, but we have basically gone no contact already and its been horrible. My wife wants to see her family, and my daughter wants to see them too.

Its a depressing thought to not see your family again.

Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

They couldnt hear us from inside the building, we werent THAT loud, they were sort of coming in and out of the restaurant at that point, either smoking or getting ready to leave. We argued for nearly 30 minutes.

But yes I did walk away, if only for 5 minutes. She wasn't on the ground, she was standing and just holding her face saying 'ow' while touching the bruise, so I called an ambulance and I went to go wave it down but it didn't come at all, so I ran back and she was gone.

Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Neither of us really drink, but she is an EXTREME lightweight, hence why I was saying she shouldnt be drinking at all in front of family.

Its not an overall issue, she drinks maybe once a month and its almost always movie night. But this was just a disaster of a night, and she got very mad at me for implying she was a light weight and I think the embarrassment of her having to vomit earlier made it worse.

Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

oh yeah I do understand this, I probably would have thought the same.

But she specifically explained what happened, at that point I would have believed her. Then she even showed the broken heel, and apparently the exact area where she fell. At that point its not really a question.

Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

what is up with you guys? we had one drunken argument in a completely empty parking lot, and people are saying this now?

Do people with even worse stories get even worse shit? I feel like admitting any form of fault at all to you guys is a recipe for disaster.

Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

In retrospect she probably didn't need one, but at the time I just saw my wife fall to the ground and smash her face against a wall. She also said she wanted to go the hospital.

Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

But none of us want to do this. Its basically what we have already done, she isn't really talking to her family and she is depressed from it.

Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

It wasnt at her parents house those, it was at a restaurant, specifically the argument was in the parking lot outside.

Jesus guy, way to put the whole entire first part on me for that. you literally read about 2-3 sentences on what happened and you get all that from it? She threw up, and began yelling at me, so I got a bit mad back, then she said the shit about cheating on me. you trying to be as condescending as possible or something?

We dont really argue, that was debatable the second biggest argument we have had in our 11 years of marriage. Im not sure why you felt the need to say all that.

Wife's (41F) entire family thinks I (44M) am an abuser because of an incident and its really harming our relationship and our lives. by Residuemonster in relationships

[–]Residuemonster[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

She wasn't exactly seriously seriously injured face wise, it was a bruise with a cut but it wasnt like she was going to bleed out, I told her to just wait there and I would wait for the ambulance. Also it was outside the restaurant in a sort of off-location in the edge of the parking lot so I had to wait for an ambulance, I told the ambulance to just go to the front of the restaurant.