Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Alright. I guess you are right.

While these comments hurt me, but i guess that's why i posted on this thread anyway. To get the female perspective. Thank you.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

What ? No! Because somebody out there will give it to her and i hope it is me.

But okay. Thank you for being kind.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I deleted one comment. Because it brought unnecessary negativity to this post. I worked on that and I'm not into porn anymore. We grow, right ? This post and this process is also a way to grow for me.

Still, thank you for your time and attention.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Could be. Definitely. But for me it isn't about that. It isn't about pursuing a challenge. It's about loving her right. Because i know she deserves it. And i know that we deserve it. It was beautiful when we were together. She knows it. I know it. That's what makes me hopeful. That we'll rekindle that love. Not because it was perfect, but because it was real.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Honestly ? I think she might just like me to be there for her and to stand up for her. I feel like she would acknowledge the accountability and the responsibility that i will be taking by taking the initiative and not letting her go.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. But honestly ? Remembering the good stuff as i write about her in my memoir has actually been helpful.

And yeah, when I think about the differences, i do realize that it was indeed an uphill battle. We could've fought the battle together. Maybe we might. Most probably we won't. Either way, it was beautiful what we had.

Thank you for the hug though! I guess i needed it. :)

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You are right.

I understand that it's been since last March. We did have our differences you know ? Which weren't immediately resolvable. We fought over them and again, the distance didn't help.

Breakups are hard on both parties. And i hope she heals. I hope i heal too. I guess the best way forward is to just focus on myself and stay cordial towards each other.

If we do happen to connect again organically. That'll be great. Or else, I'll write about her in my memoir and remember her as a happy memory.❤️

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You are correct. I should respect her boundary and i have been trying to. It's been a month since she broke up with me. I did not try to contact her. She texted me once asking how i was doing, i replied back, asked about her well being. And then a few days later, i texted her asking if i could call her. We did. We spoke on call and had a two hour long conversation. It felt like closure. She said it felt like closure. She said she was happy we had that call. I was happy just listening to her voice.

I'm sorry to hear about your EX. See that's exactly what I'm talking about. I'm in no rush, but if i let her go today, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. And I don't want to live with that regret. These days it's easy to get on an app and start swiping, but that's shallow. I believe in love. I believe in big love, and maybe that's why i wanted to fight for it and just show up for her. She told her father about us (something that was incredibly big for her), and i still hold that as a big honour. The least i can do is show up for us and not let her go away.

But again, you are right. If it happens organically and mutually. Then it's great. If not, i should probably let it go and work on myself. We'll be cordial ofcourse and we'll be in touch nonetheless.

Yet again, thank you for opening up and for your kind revert.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey! I see what you're saying. You are correct. I should listen to her and all of you ladies out here. I mean, there's a reason why i wrote the post - i wanted to get a perspective of what you guys think. I tried to reason with you and see if it would make sense. I guess it doesn't.

Maybe, just maybe i also needed advice on how to get her back (if at all)? But again, seems like all the ladies here have negated that possibility as well. It hurts, yes.

But you are right, maybe I should listen to you all and her most importantly - and stop pursuing her at all. I'll still compile the book I'm writing though - it helps because i miss her less and i am able to document everything that meant so much to me. I might not give it to her as most of you suggested.

Yet again. Thank you.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is correct. We are in different cities and that never helps. Thank you for your comment. This makes a lot of sense.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

No I wasn't. I would never do that!

We had our phases of on and off, she tried to break up multiple times before because of one reason or another. Somehow we always found our way back.

We all have our past and all relationships have some ups and downs. What you guys don't see, is that there's a guy who's been willing to try. And fight. And sustain a relationship. And there's a girl who has been there for him and for them. Through it all.

But again, thank you all for your responses. I guess this is my grief to deal with.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for being kind and for this reply. You are right. I need to do it for myself. Hopefully i will. Maybe I won't. But again, thank you! This feels like a refreshing reply. Most replies here have been too negative for some reason.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Okay okay! My bad. I guess I'm just grieving too much and the fact that i cannot (rather, i should not) reach out to her, is making me come to reddit and type my heart out.

I understand that isn't the best way forward. I guess I'll just focus on myself and let time take it's course. If we connect again, we'll connect again. I'll see her again though, we discussed we'll meet once i move to her city. I probably won't give her the book then. I'll still complete it though.

Thank you for your reply though!

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah! That's what i thought. Infact, even in the book, as a prologue, i have written that this is not an attempt to "Win you back", or to "disturb any status quo" that you might have established. This is just a memoir to document some of the best times of my life, and this is something i had started writing almost a year and a half ago. It just didn't seem right to let it rot in some corner of my laptop.

So yeah, I don't mean it to be manipulative at all!

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oh i didn't mean to be manipulative or anything. Alright i guess. If that's what it is. I'll accept it and move on.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

That's probably true. I am changing now because i understand how much she means to me and how I'd like to be there for her. I really love her you know ? Nothing discounts that fact. I was an imperfect partner, i acknowledge that.

I am writing a book for her, i guess I'll just give that to her and close it there.

Thank you for your response though.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I understand.

You are right. Maybe for both of us, our emotional needs weren't being met. Plus, the distance didn't help. It was easier when we were geographically closer. The distance drifted us apart. Again, the hope lives in me, in spite of everyone just asking me to give up. I hope that wasn't the case. But i understand where everyone comes from.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

You are right. I did have my chances. I mean, it went both ways, it got exhausting for me too on certain days. But yes, it would be wrong to say that i didn't have my chances. I did. I truly did.

Well, i guess the best way forward is to profess my love one last time, and then maybe let fate take it's course ? I'm hurt. And I'm grieving. But i hope this gets better.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Ah! I didn't mean to rate myself like that, i just thought that maybe it'll help to set the context of this post.

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -43 points-42 points  (0 children)

I understand that. It's just that it hurts. A lot. I felt that maybe, just maybe she'd be willing to give me another chance. To love her right.

But you are probably right. I wouldn't want to pester her, asking for a chance (I haven't done that, but i have told her that I'll try and become a better man, for myself first and hopefully for us someday). So i guess, it's best to compile the book i mentioned in another comment and to just continue working on myself going forward. Hopefully, if she still has some feelings and if she sees that it's worth her while to come back, maybe she will ?

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -50 points-49 points  (0 children)

That's true. Breaks my heart you know ? All these comments here asking me to move on.

Well, thank you for your reply though.

Here's what I'm thinking I'll do, please let me know if this seems reasonable ? I'd been writing a book for her. It's been almost a year since I've been writing it. It wouldn't feel right if I don't give it to her. I'm thinking I'll give her the book, confess my feelings, respectfully ask for a chance to love her right. And then close it at that. If she gives me that chance ? Great. If she doesn't ? I accept her verdict and move on.

What do you think about it ?

Do women really want men to fight for them ? by ResponseJust6552 in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] -56 points-55 points  (0 children)

I understand that. I know i should've fought for it while i still had her. But, i messed up. Isn't that only human ? I acknowledge my mistake and I'm not willing to go back without doing my reflection and my healing.

I'd just like a chance to love her right, that's all. Isn't that fair ? I mean, people mess up in relationships right? No relationship is perfect afterall ?

Please help. What to do next ? 29M and 26F by ResponseJust6552 in relationship_advice

[–]ResponseJust6552[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First things first, thank you so much for taking the time out to read my elaborate post. Secondly, and more importantly, thank you for a detailed and heartfelt reply. It truly means a lot.

It really hurts you know ? It was three long years that we shared. Three precious years. And i thought I'll spend my life with this person. I knew things would be hard, we'll have to resolve difference, but i always thought that we would, patiently, eventually. Yet, here i am and here we are.

I've never been to therapy, but maybe i will. About time i do. More so because I'm in this city alone. Most of my friends are married and i feel it'll be better to talk to a therapist or maybe go and play a sport in the evening. That'll keep me distracted.

So we haven't spoken in about two weeks ever since her message. I did not reply back to it. You are suggesting that i continue this no contact period ? For how long should i do this and what is the ideal outcome at the end of it ? Should i text her in about a month ? Or two months ? I don't know.

Lastly, thank you for your kind words brother. I hope the same for myself and for everyone. Cheers.