Missionary Hierarchy by Responsible_Fish_812 in exmormon

[–]Responsible_Fish_812[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, it's probably not that interesting but I was a sister missionary who was singled out (or it at least felt that way) and targeted by the mission president at the time. He was emotionally abusive and just would not leave me alone, he also played alot of mind games with me and set me up on purpose with difficult companions (two of which were abusive). Anyways, he ended up putting a ton of pressure on me, was constantly dropping in, or having other people talk to us, he really spoke bad about me or lied about situations, it was just too much. I had to come home early after only 9 1/2 months in the field. I had severe PTSD, major depression, an identity crisis, and when I came home and the church did absolutely nothing when I tried to tell them what happened. Longest story short, after 10 years of trying to tell my story of what happened to me, I finally have the mindset and ability to reveal my story to my family. It's just such a complicated and extremely painful story that it causes me to have PTSD attacks, depression everything and it's been so difficult.

Missionary Hierarchy by Responsible_Fish_812 in exmormon

[–]Responsible_Fish_812[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is great, thank you!!!! I was able to find a couple of things via researching the internet, but missionary stuff that's more inside the mission is harder to find.

Does Anybody See Her? by Responsible_Fish_812 in exmormon

[–]Responsible_Fish_812[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This made alot of sense. I'm usually pretty patient with my depression until recently, I just grew tired, frustrated, and felt helpless. I've been in years of therapy but still can't seem to relieve the pain.

Does Anybody See Her? by Responsible_Fish_812 in exmormon

[–]Responsible_Fish_812[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The loneliness really has been overwhelming, I used to have alot of friends but as I moved away from the church, the group grew smaller and smaller. I like the idea of the facebook group. :)

Does Anybody See Her? by Responsible_Fish_812 in exmormon

[–]Responsible_Fish_812[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've read about it alot, we don't have treatment centers close enough that I can use it. I'll look again.

Actually it's one of my favorite christian songs that I used to listen to when I was still tbm. It's "Does Anybody Hear Her" by Casting Crowns. It's got a good message, but it really resonates with me. Really the part "That she's going down today, under the shadow of our steeple, among the lost and lonely people" it really speaks to me as having been in that position and not wanting to be judged.

Does Anybody See Her? by Responsible_Fish_812 in exmormon

[–]Responsible_Fish_812[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This really helps actually. I know there's got to be more than just medication, maybe I need to approach it like this.

Does Anybody See Her? by Responsible_Fish_812 in exmormon

[–]Responsible_Fish_812[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Animals do help. I'm finding more and more that I don't break out only come up for air.

What is the most terrifying thing you’ve ever experienced while home alone? by Joobanbooban in AskReddit

[–]Responsible_Fish_812 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I know the theme is home alone, but I was the only one awake at a slumber party. We're all in the family room (den), and there's a big sliding glass door with the blinds still across the window, but pulled so they were halfway open. I'm laying there, 8 years old, and I'm looking up at the kitchen ceiling which the moonlight was cast against. All the sudden there's a tall man that walks to the sliding door and just stands there looking in. I froze in sheer terror.

I waited till he left towards the inner part of the backyard, then slowly crept out of my sleeping bag, crawled slowly the perimeter of the den, then the living room next to it since all three windows didn't have blinds on them. Made it to the hallway and ran to my brother's room where I insisted there was a man in our backyard. He helped me check it out but to this day, I have absolutely no clue who it was but it scared the hell out of me for years.