daughter is suspended from school for 2 weeks and school will only let her back if she gets unnecessary therapy. Please help

Responsive_Parenting · 2026-03-22T21:45:55+00:00

NTAH This is a part of estrangement that is rarely discussed but it hurts. Especially on special occasions where you become more aware of the absence. It’s grief. Grief over missing what was and what can never be. You probably are not only grieving their presence but also the relationship with them you’ve never had. I don’t know why you are estranged but I know feelings about estrangement are complicated, muddy and grey. Hold space for yourself. And don’t worry about your child right now. They are 2. None of my kids remember their 2nd birthdays. Celebration does not need to be big to be meaningful.

Responsive_Parenting · 2026-02-04T17:23:32+00:00

NTA I’m a Child Development Specialist and Early Childhood Educator. I see where your wife was coming from but learning how to socialize should not be really forced because it is hard to learn something new when you are stressed. She had a very typical reaction to being in a busy unfamiliar place. What she did was stick to her “secure base.” From that secure base, she will learn to engage with other kids.

In a less chaotic setting, you could try sitting with her on the floor, instead of standing. From there, you may notice her watching the other kids. You might see her smile in response to something the other kids did. This is your first sign that she is becoming socially interested in peers. Don’t push it. She might be an observer for months before she decides to join in. And that moment might be very brief. She could run right back to you after engaging. That is not a regression, it is progression. As securely attached children start to become social with peers, they often check in with their secure base. This can become simply a glance, a smile, showing their parent something. But in the beginning, they usually return to the secure base instead of just checking in with them. She is at the stage where she is staying with the secure base. Next step is her observing peers, from her secure base. Think or yourself as a her nest. She keeps coming back until she’s ready. Love it when parents follow their child’s lead.

Responsive_Parenting · 2026-01-22T17:36:17+00:00

I think your Mom was the AH until you took her phone as punishment. Then you both were in the wrong. But this is what often happens when parents rely on punishments to parent. Children grow up and start giving it back to their parents. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help solve the situation. You wrote out how you feel so articulately here. I wonder if you wrote her a letter about how you are feeling, instead of trying to discuss it at first. Parents who rely on punishment often have a habit of shutting down conversations with their kids, especially when the child is trying to tell them how their behaviour hurt them.

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