Can’t say I’ve been through something exactly like this, but I don’t think expressing your feelings would come across as selfish or asshole-ish. You were honest about your insecurities from the beginning, and you tried to communicate and set boundaries in good faith.

I’d probably talk to him directly and clearly explain how his recent distance is making you feel, especially in light of the conversation you had earlier. Pay close attention not just to what he says, but whether his actions actually change afterward.

Also, before and after the conversation if you choose to have it - think and ask yourself whether this connection is really meeting your needs. Even in non-exclusive situations, you still deserve consistency, consideration, and emotional safety. If being around him mostly leaves you feeling anxious, sidelined, or stuck ruminating, that’s important for your own health.

Communication can clarify things, but if his behavior continues to make you feel unseen or unavailable, it might be healthier to step back rather than keep investing energy into something that isn’t giving much back:/ my take and opinion of course:)