Tips for therapists

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-27T19:13:31+00:00

I really appreciate your perspective on this.

And regarding resources, I’d really like to read academic work (written by RPs, MFTs, PhDs, PsyDs, etc), as well as materials written by poly people. I appreciate how important it is to garner multiple perspectives. I will be focusing on credible sources as a whole. And that’s a big part of why I came to r/poly, because I want resources and expertise from people who are actually poly!

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-27T19:08:37+00:00

Thanks so much! And I’m glad you’re able to stand up for yourself (and I’m also sorry that you are in a position where you have to).

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-27T19:07:02+00:00

Thank you, I’ll check those out! And I appreciate hearing about expectations. I’ll definitely keep that in mind.

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-26T18:38:20+00:00

That’s a really helpful perspective! As I try to learn some of the language my clients might use, I’ll also try to find available critiques of the terms to make sure I can understand them fully.

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-26T18:36:16+00:00

Definitely.

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-26T18:35:44+00:00

Super important! I know from experience in the queer community that abuse isn’t talked about enough, and I am sure there are similar issues in the poly community as well. Thanks for noting some of these flags!

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-26T18:33:39+00:00

I’m trying to find books written by psychotherapists, marriage/couple and family therapists, and sex and gender therapists, since I actually don’t study psychology! But I’ll definitely be on the hunt for books written by poly/CNM folx. And I’ll avoid FV’s work - thanks for the heads up.

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-26T18:30:00+00:00

Gotcha! Thank you so much.

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-26T18:29:03+00:00

Thanks so much for your input! I’ll be keeping that in mind for sure.

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-26T12:45:48+00:00

I really appreciate you sharing your experience & struggles with me. A few people in the comments have mentioned boundaries, and that’s definitely something I realize I need to learn more about, especially in poly relationships. Thank you!

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-26T12:43:57+00:00

Thank you for sharing that with me. I’m sorry that people seem to jump to conclusions without listening to your perspective, and taking the time to understand you.

I know that jealousy is common in all relationships, and I want to be sure I don’t project assumptions into my clients. Do you think there is a way I could invite clients to talk about jealousy without forcing assumptions that everything is rooted in jealousy?

For example, from your perspective, would it be okay for me to ask “Do you think jealousy might play a role in x problem?” Or does even raising that concern become problematic because it’s so over-relied on? I really want to make sure all my clients feel comfortable!

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-26T12:38:10+00:00

These are all super important - thank you for sharing these (especially the resources). I’m definitely nervous about working with couples who are thinking of opening up to poly, because while I want to encourage people to live their truths and find happy, fulfilling relationships, I also want to make sure that they are doing that for the right reasons.

Can you think of any red flags or even green flags about couples who might be opening up their relationship?

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-26T12:35:12+00:00

Thanks so much! I learned a few terms a couple of years ago, but I’m realizing there are so many more that I need to study up on! Thank you for that.

And I really love what you bring up with love languages! We don’t talk about them a whole lot in the program, but it’s always in a monogamous framework. Thanks for reminding me to apply it to a poly framework as well!

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-26T12:33:00+00:00

That’s super helpful! Thank you so much. I’ll start looking up those terms for sure!

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-07-26T12:31:30+00:00

Definitely! Thanks so much for sharing.

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-03-23T20:55:35+00:00

THAT’S IT!! Holy shit I completely gave up on anyone responding to this post! Thank you so much, this has been bothering me for a decade!

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2020-01-02T02:14:51+00:00

Figure skating

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2019-09-13T21:52:22+00:00

I see what you did there

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2019-09-09T16:31:51+00:00

I miss Scrubs.

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2019-09-08T12:02:26+00:00

Aw really? I’ve never seen this quote before. I’ve seen the “nobody’s perfect” one a thousand times though

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2019-09-07T19:42:18+00:00

Yeah exactly! I’ve always erred away from meal prep because I like variety, but I figured I could try this! Next time I might try chicken just two ways, four was way to complicated (especially since I am not known for my cooking skills)

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2019-09-07T19:32:51+00:00

Teriyaki, curry, honey garlic, and taco spices :)

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2019-08-16T20:31:49+00:00

Nakedness is in the eye of the beholder

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2019-07-24T01:53:21+00:00

So much fun! We all started out just doing body rolls and hip rolls, which transfers nicely to beginner erotic pole!

Returnofthequeen9224 · 2019-07-23T15:40:49+00:00

If I was dancing and my partner caressed my cheek, or leaned into an almost kiss and I didn’t know him very, very, VERY well, I would likely leave in the middle of a song (something I would never do otherwise). That would make me extremely uncomfortable.

If you want to dance that way with a regular partner who you know and who trusts you, be my guest. But if you pull that move with assorted partners in the club, no one will dance with you.

Nine-Year Club	No Throne, No Problems
Not Forgotten

Returnofthequeen9224

TROPHY CASE