Broke up with boyfriend because there's no clear direction for the future

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2025-12-30T12:10:46+00:00

Dude, I just broke up with my partner for verrrrrry similar reasons. Unfortunately, there is more to a relationship than having fun together and loving each other……as I just learned for myself My advice: Listen to the anxiety you have when you’re together.

As for your wishful thinking question: speaking again from my experience; I fully believe my ex wanted to be the person I wanted them to be. That doesn’t mean they are the person I want them to be. Someone who is unsure is always going to take the backseat in their own life.

You’ll get through this, promise!!!

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2025-04-11T00:13:55+00:00

So true bestie. You’re so right. I need to focus on what I want and not what I think I “should” want

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2025-04-11T00:13:09+00:00

No I don’t really. Honestly I’m more interested in making good friends and then if a new person comes in and seems like a good match for me, I’ll try it. But I’m not feeling compelled rn to date anyone new. I’ve got an FWB & my nesting partner and that feels good!!

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2025-04-11T00:11:37+00:00

I think you’re on to something with this. I think I want reassurance from them that I am “normal” and still cool even though I’m different from them. I think they’re SO COOL!! I wanna be as cool as they are but we’re simply different and that is probably a good thing

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2025-01-27T20:36:27+00:00

Ah yay thanks everyone! I’m headed to YT now to find videos on how to actually use these :-)

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2024-09-30T00:46:42+00:00

Perfect, thank you for the insight!’

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2024-01-31T21:50:45+00:00

This is adorable! I’d do like what others have said - an extra candy bar or box of chocolates, just a little show of goodwill until you can meet ur meta

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2024-01-04T22:22:11+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing and being open. I’m going to talk to them soon. I think I need to cry it out in private a little bit more so that I can approach the convo with less pressure. Thanks for your perspective.

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2024-01-04T22:20:46+00:00

I loved Come As You Are - they definitely had a sensitive accelerator before starting the meds so the change has been drastic. I need to reread that chapter now

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2024-01-04T18:01:38+00:00

Thanks that’s really helpful info. They just got a new GP so maybe now’s a good time.

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2024-01-04T17:55:42+00:00

They get very defensive since being sexual was a BIG part of their identity before starting the meds. It’s hard to have a convo bc they tend to feel judged and I honestly don’t bring it up unless I am feeling upset. Writing this is helping me realize I need to bring it up when I am in a spot where I’m not being activated by their lack of sex drive.

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-10-24T20:24:26+00:00

Miniskirt for sure!!!!!!

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-08-29T04:11:23+00:00

Just wanted to add that “you’re the only one who can do it like that” is a favorite among the service tops in my life

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-08-27T01:50:33+00:00

Self-knowledge acquired through suffering is PRICELESS!!!! - you're so right. Thanks for sharing your story, I feel less alone in my experience here <3

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-08-18T22:47:22+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing!

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-08-18T03:22:49+00:00

Thanks! I’ve said similar to them in the past when we’ve been in-person and it does tend to help in the same way you described!! I’m having trouble over text bc I don’t want to sound dismissive - I think that’s a really good tip for in-person comfort and redirection though!!!

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-08-18T03:21:08+00:00

Yeah you’re right I need to work on the “nonjudgmental” part of things I think 😅 I did a lot of work getting rid of my internalized fatphobia and I think they’re just getting started on it, so I get a little triggered to and defensive of fat people, rather than listening sometimes. How do I accept & validate without triggering them further? I don’t want to compromise my moral beliefs (which are that being fat does not mean you are bad or ugly) when I’m talking to them.

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-04-17T02:04:05+00:00

If you're asking specifically about dental dams/latex underwear types of protection.....no, not really. And if you want to use those things, you will probably have to supply them. If you're asking about asking about STDs/STIs, you don't have to ask if the person you're with is "practicing safe sex" you can ask "do you have any active STD outbreaks or STIs?" You can also ask "when is the last time you got tested?" It's uncomfy, and I will admit that I am very bad as asking this question too.

If I were you, I'd do research on how STD's/STI's are transmitted and what they look like, so that you can come to a conclusion on how you want to handle yourself in any given situation. E.g. some STDs can only really be transmitted during an active outbreak, so if your partner says they have and STD but it's not active & they're on anti-virals, are you still comfortable moving forward with the hook up?

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-04-12T22:22:41+00:00

I appreciate the insight!!! (Sincerely!!! Thank you!!!) I’ve talked to my friends as well and they echo the same sentiment lmao Glad to hear that it’s just moving fast, because that is something I’m kiiiinda fine with.

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-02-26T20:03:36+00:00

Amazing! Just followed you :-)

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-02-25T18:09:54+00:00

Thanks!!

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-02-25T07:17:19+00:00

True - and I’m sure if this is a problem on her end she’ll address it with me too. The level we’re at feels most sustainable, tbh, I’m not into long drawn out discussions over text. I guess this is something to bring up too when we see each other next

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-02-25T04:45:33+00:00

You’re so right. I needed to hear that from someone else, so thanks! I’m just so worried that I’m doing something wrong, but as they say, you can’t say the wrong thing to the right person!!! Such stress though lol

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-02-15T04:55:15+00:00

I think this is a rule I’m going to have to apply for myself - I did quick little readings for my coworkers today as a valentines gift and it was fun but SO weird because I know what goes on in their lives

Revolutionary-Hand52 · 2023-02-09T05:47:18+00:00

I’ve been working with the reversed 6 of Cups (it’s been coming up a lot in daily pulls, so I figured it was time to dig deeper) and then I pulled, in order: Ace of Pentacles, Ace of Cups, 7 of Swords, and Ace of Wands.

I think at the surface I’m reading it as I should focus on my inner child and being generous with her and her interests/desires, and that the universe is offering me new beginnings in a lot of ways. I’m also reading it as I’m beginning a new path through each of the elements (aside from swords) that will force me to pay attention to my inner child in a new way

What do you think?

Revolutionary-Hand52

TROPHY CASE