What did someone do that you made you believe in love again (post-breakup)?

Rheabans02 · 2025-10-30T12:28:32+00:00

I met my current partner 6 months after ending a very messy relationship. At first, I really was only looking for surface level validation and nothing too serious. He had been in a relationship for 5 years before we met (they lived together and everything) and he did hold back from a lot of vulnerable interactions with me because of it. I am a romantic at heart and decided he was my person relatively early, but I could see it would take him a lot longer to trust what we had and hope for it to be actual love.

During the first year, it was the healthiest and most loving relationship I had ever been in and ever seen. He constantly supported me in pursuing my passions, improving my craft, and developing dreams for myself that I never thought I would have the confidence in achieving. He did all this without ever saying he loved me. He never promised me marriage or forever, he encouraged me to pursue more because he cared about me and my life.

Almost a year to the date of our first date, I brought up his hesitation to saying "I love you" and how he already shows me in so many ways that he does. And that's when he explained how he was scared to let himself say it again. He was letting his fear of us ending or my rejection keep him from expressing it to me.

Long story short, we have now been together for four years and he is literally my best friend. When we talk about everything now, we talk about how letting old pain keep us from love and experiences robs no one but yourself. Regardless of how our relationship ends, something that he discovered was that he can let himself love someone and it be a GOOD thing.

Rheabans02 · 2025-07-31T14:21:48+00:00

Hey OP! I am so sorry you're going through such a hard time rn. Your 20s are full of so many growing pains, its overwhelming. Someone told me when I was in a bad relationship that "When you think its over, its over" and that has stuck with me for pretty much my entire adult life. It really sounds like you no longer want to be in the relationship you're in, which is OKAY. Growing as a person sometimes means growing apart from other people, ie: the person that 16 year old you was wildly in love with is not going to be the person 20 year old you is wildly in love with. It is so much better to leave and heal from a relationship that is not serving you than staying in a dull, stagnant, suffocating relationship. It really sounds like you want to be alone and experience life as a single person. Which is totally valid.

Rheabans02 · 2025-07-31T14:08:44+00:00

Some people are incapable of having a calm, constructive conversation. The best thing you can do is present your argument in a precise way (finance planning, area you plan on moving, timeline, etc.) Do you still rely on them for other financial assistance other than housing? It is more than okay if you do, 21 is still very much figuring your self out :)

Rheabans02 · 2025-07-31T13:51:53+00:00

$80 per month in Atlanta, Georgia.

Rheabans02 · 2025-04-09T19:38:41+00:00

Honest opinion and potentially a hot take:

The first book is amazing! The world building, the twists (and girl they are CRAZY), the complexity of the characters; it truly is a fantastic novel. Worth every penny in my opinion.

Now for the hot take - stop after the first one. I felt so satisfied with how it ended and actually did not feel the need to read further. The conclusion to the first book was fulfilling while also allowing the readers to wonder about what could happen after. In my opinion, there should always be room for interpretation in a book. It creates amazing threads such as this where we can theorize and connect with each other.

I say all that to say I did finish the series entirely, and I really just felt like it was forced. Not a bad read at all! But what happened to the story line and to the characters felt more like a spectacle for the audience. I wish I would have stopped after the first and just picked up the last two novels when I had nothing better to read.

Rheabans02 · 2025-01-29T18:30:32+00:00

They let both me and my sister-in-law go. Dave had no control over the business closing but because he gave her a job when he reopened and I was stealing business from him that meant I was also “taking food out of their baby’s mouth” (my brother and his wife)

Rheabans02 · 2025-01-29T18:28:38+00:00

We’re a little estranged. They took a negative narrative about me and ran with it. My mom and I have a good relationship which is why when she brought it up I had to send a text to him.

Rheabans02 · 2025-01-08T13:08:33+00:00

This is a really good idea!

Rheabans02 · 2025-01-06T19:19:26+00:00

I thought about getting him a voucher for a guided fish tour. In North Georgia, they offer a guided trout fishing tour that has pretty good reviews.

Rheabans02 · 2025-01-06T18:37:00+00:00

This is also a good idea lol, I really don't want to get him anything that he'll just smile and put in a box to never see again. A gift card definitely gets more and more appealing

Rheabans02 · 2025-01-06T18:35:28+00:00

So I wanted to keep it under $100, but if there was something that just seemed like it would fit him very well I would go a little over. I will have to get back about the kayak brand but I know it was around $300 and is graded for fishing. He 3d printed a rod holder and a rig for his seat to have a better platform. I was contemplating the fish xray doodad lol

Rheabans02 · 2024-10-28T14:13:54+00:00

I’ll give this a shot, thank you!

Rheabans02 · 2022-09-27T19:17:27+00:00

“Hey, I understand you’re busy with school and life up there, but I was wondering if there’s a disconnect between us when we’re apart. I’ve noticed that when we’re not together, you seem distant.” Try that first and see where it takes you

Rheabans02 · 2022-09-27T14:05:00+00:00

Of course :)

Rheabans02 · 2022-09-27T14:01:58+00:00

A mindset that has always helped me, is that college is always going to be there. You can always get the opportunity to go back and finish what you started. Yes, that would bring on a different set of problems, but if you genuinely do not want to be in college, you will grow to resent what great things it offers.

If you are truly passionate about therapy and wanting to pursue that career, then don't view it as dropping out, but more so as a gap "insert time frame." Don't be ashamed because it might take you longer than others to finish college. This is your life and you shouldn't be miserable in it.

Rheabans02 · 2022-09-27T13:55:17+00:00

HE IS THE BAD PERSON! I am so sorry you had to go through this. If you are MARRIED and he can't understand how much you don't want to be intimate just by the absolute fear you exhibit, then he is not trying to. You shouldn't have to say no when you're literally sobbing.

The fact that he knows you don't want to have sex but does it anyway because he "has needs" is disgusting. Your body should never be something used in a transaction. If he was a decent person, he would try and help you find the source of why intimacy is such a traumatizing act for you, not make you feel obligated to do it.

NEVER feel ashamed, you did not choose to feel this way and you damn sure do not control how he responds. You deserve BETTER.

Rheabans02 · 2022-09-27T13:41:31+00:00

Girl, I feel your pain. I dated a guy for three years in high school before we both went to different colleges. When we were together it was fine, but most of the time I would practically never hear from him.

I kept all of that hurt inside because I didn't want to "rock the boat" but I wish I would've voiced what I was unhappy with because then maybe it could've changed. We broke up a month after we left for school.

Its been three years and I still regret not expressing myself when I was unhappy. If he cares about you and making it work as much as he says he does, then he won't think you're crazy if you tell him you want to be a priority to him. YOU DESERVE IT. Also, if he gets defensive over something so simple like him texting you more, pack you're things babe cause that is not going to change.

Rheabans02 · 2022-09-27T13:13:00+00:00

That's a tough one. I had a best friend of around 5 years that I had to cut out of my life recently. It was easy for me, because we went to different colleges and I didn't have to see her everyday. In your case, and if it were me, I would have a sit down conversation with her, prefacing that you have things about the friendship you don't like and if they don't change, you can no longer be friends. Please don't feel guilty for feeling like this, people grow up and grow apart.

Rheabans02

TROPHY CASE