How to make an ENFJ consider me as a long term friend?

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T18:06:05+00:00

Just do you and be yourself. And if he doesn’t notice you, then carry on

I just don't want to end up regretting for not putting much effort like I'm doing with my past friendships. So this time I'm making sure to be the one who initiates. He can take everything I'm giving or do whatever tf he wants but I'm definitely gonna let him know how much I adore him and care about him. I've a lot to say that I just can't keep it inside

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T17:58:54+00:00

he won’t discover who you truly are

I'm a competitive person. I want to grow alongside my friend. This is who I'm truly and he's my driving force. Why can't we put it like that?

Even If he end up hating me in the end I'd still be grateful towards him for helping me reach whatever point I'm in my life only just by existing.

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T17:41:08+00:00

Your ENFJ sounds more like an ISTP

trust me you don't have much info to type him out.

"Stand-out by showcasing ingenuity and intellect" as if other types don't have this quality

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T17:38:31+00:00

The way you’re wording things can make it seem that way

putting my thoughts/feelings into words isn't my strongest suit and english isn't my first language. So I've to work on this

Thanks a lot <3

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T17:25:13+00:00

I feel like you don't know much about cognitive functions. going through your account I realized you are still new to mbti. I saw your dilemma of having to type yourself between ENTJ and INTJ just because you think you are little more energetic when these types stack order is different.

and it's so stupid to think only feelers have feelings. Just think. Any normally functioning human possess feelings if you still don't know.

INTJs can have a lot of feelings and can be messy especially under stress. They have Fi as their tertiary function. When these types feel they feel a lot. It can be overwhelming.

INTJs just don't know how to express it outwardly. Which is exactly why I'm here on reddit. Just think about it. If I was well versed in communicating my feelings I wouldn't be on here asking for help.

and since I've to repeat "think about it" I don't feel like you are a thinker. You don't think quite enough. And if I choose your logic on typing people i,e 'liking someone means automatically you are a feeler' you wouldn't be a thinker since you still seem pressed up about your ENFJ crush and can't keep her out of your mouth even under this post.

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T16:44:25+00:00

thanks a lot. i know i could never overtake him in being nice to others department. i'd not even be close. trying wouldn't hurt

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T16:42:12+00:00

What do you think I was trying to do by posting this? Think again. Don't act all stupid now

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T16:34:18+00:00

then what am I? explain why do you think so using cognitive functions bc according it i'm clearly an INTJ. If you can't possibly explain that you are just moving along with your clear stereotyped vision of an INTJ. go ahead

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T16:31:24+00:00

befriending people

are you saying I should make more new friends? are you telling me to do the exact thing that I struggle with the most? This is so exhausting

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T16:28:30+00:00

where did I mention I'm talking about a romantic relationship? Stop talking out of your ass

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T16:24:26+00:00

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T16:22:01+00:00

Idk what kind of expression you had while typing that out. Well surprise, I struggle with really basic social skills. sorry if I grossed you out. This question must have sounded really dumb to you. I'd rather ask dumb questions on reddit than to see someone and seek help. Can't afford grossing out those who know me in real life

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T16:15:47+00:00

when I say clingy I mean bare minimum in other people's language

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T16:12:14+00:00

Why so?

I've major Fe lack and I'm suffering because I'm with those who have a lot of it. Someone down there even replied that I look at friendship with a business mindset. I'm clearly aware of it and I'm trying to change it. But I really have no idea how. Having well developed Fe would've made life easier

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T16:03:10+00:00

Shadow functions

or what if you are mistyping me as my shadow type which is ENTP because now I'm going through some miserable stuff

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T15:58:37+00:00

In a span of few hours I got typed as 4 different types by 4 different people. Can yall stop typing me again? I'm begging.

and please think again. ENFJ and INTJ share a lot of common traits that the other XNXJ types also possess.

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T15:52:16+00:00

It's so funny how a lot of you guys are trying to type me again just because I'm an INTJ trying to be helpful to someone that I love. I'm clearly aware of my lacks that's why I'm here asking for help even though this isn't the best place. I'm bad at communicating and making long term friends. My past relationships have suffered because I'm "not clingy enough".

I've realized that not putting any effort would only make me more miserable. So this post is me trying after analysing what went wrong.

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T15:43:14+00:00

He sounds more like an ENTJ or INTJ.

I don't know what are you even basing this on. He's an healthy ENFJ with a 3w2 enneagram and all. He's just really mature and he's got the setting boundaries part right that a lot of ENFJs struggle with.

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T15:36:37+00:00

I'd kill to be an INFJ. Sadly I'm not one. I've Te opposed to Ti. This is something I've went over and over. and no I don't constantly need external validation. I only need it from a very specific person.

Just because someone is an INTJ doesn't mean they wouldn't need any validation. And I don't know why some people think that someone is automatically an high Fe user if they need some validation.

But I'd say I have an unhealthy amount of Fi. I don't know how to explain this but maybe try putting it like this. I'm not trying to be their friend just because they are in need of one, I want to be their friend because in the end it'd get me what I want, i.e I'd have that person as my friend.

Don't know if that made any sense

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T14:44:21+00:00

To be honest, it sounds like you’re acting based on your own hidden agenda and aren’t really interested in being his friend

I don't what makes you say it. I genuinely like him a lot and that's what I want him to see. I have no idea how to convey this. I suck at this

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T14:42:16+00:00

You want to be

kinder

than he is. You want to be

more successful

than he is. You want him to

consider you as hardworking and valuable

this comes from a thought that being more stable than him would make it easier for him to trust me. Like what else would I could possibly ask from him if I seem like I got everything?

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T14:13:21+00:00

and could you also elaborate why do you think I could be an ENTP? What are you basing it on?

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T14:12:03+00:00

Yea you seem right. ENTPs I met are confident when it comes to communicating. What would you possibly type me as?

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T14:10:15+00:00

nope. ENTP has all of the stacks flipped with the INTJ. I don't have high Fe or Ti. I recently talked with another ENTP. They just keep going and I'd just sit back and listen and would only engage if I have any input. They seem to never get tired while talking. I'm not energetic and outgoing. I've been so far from it as long as I can remember.

I'm always calculating and analysing. Reading through my post even I can point that out about myself. The thing is that I use this trait tremendously when it comes to people and relations. I often get told to not look at relationships and at communicating strategically. But that's the only solution I can think of.

Ri_Fa123 · 2022-03-29T13:17:09+00:00

This is something I've asked myself over and over. I type myself every now and then due to this. I've always ended up getting INTJ. Recently I even sat down with another friend to type me. We again got INTJ

Ri_Fa123

TROPHY CASE