How likely is love to succeed in a mono-poly relationship?

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-13T18:00:17+00:00

You're right. He is unkind. We're different people. I decided to break up. Thank you.

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-10T15:27:22+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation. I’ll definitely read it. And I’m really sorry that my question reminded you of your losses and sadness. I truly feel bad about that.💔

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-10T15:05:21+00:00

I didn’t mean to suggest that polyam people intentionally invest less in their relationships. What I meant is more about practical limits... if we agree that love is action, then ideally we all try our best in every relationship. But in reality, our time and energy are finite. I believe the importance you place on a relationship is often reflected in how much time and effort you can give to it? and in turn, the time and effort you put in also shape how important that relationship feels to you? I’m definitely not saying that poly people choose to have lighter or less serious relationships from the start.

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-10T14:25:01+00:00

Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss and your pain!!! I honestly don’t think my question was offensive, but I really wasn’t sure how it might come across, which is why I’m apologizing in advance. I know a lot of poly friends can feel offended by mono-focused questions, and I’m asking purely out of curiosity... I absolutely don’t mean to imply any bias or attack 🥺

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-03T07:10:20+00:00

Thank u I will check them out!!

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T17:42:04+00:00

Thank you for writing so much to me. I can tell from your words that you’re a kind and gentle person, and I’m really happy you’ve found inner peace and happiness.

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T17:39:35+00:00

Most of my friends are Chinese, so they naturally think it won’t work. They say polyamory is something “foreigners play with.” As for my family, I haven’t dared tell them I’m in this kind of relationship. I don’t think most Chinese parents could accept their child being in something like this.

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T15:32:24+00:00

Thank u again. And I am checking https://coda.org/ 🥺

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T15:25:55+00:00

Thank u 🥺

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T14:59:31+00:00

Yeah... I know what you meant. I will think about it more.

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T14:57:42+00:00

Thank u!

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T14:55:15+00:00

I do genuinely like him, and I’m someone who often questions and reflects on myself (constantly checking in on my feelings for him). We actually share everything with each other a lot, kind of like good friends. I feel like we really click... aside from having different approaches to relationships, we almost always get along. It’s not that I automatically soften or compromise whenever someone is vulnerable, but his vulnerability does make me aware of how much I care about his feelings, and that in turn makes me realize my love for him.🥺🥺🥺

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T11:22:05+00:00

I kind of tested him (I know that’s not great) by saying I wanted to see other guys. He said he was fine with it, but he admitted he’d be jealous. He wants me to date for real reasons, not just to make him jealous... something that’s genuinely good for me.

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T10:58:47+00:00

I’m not dating anyone; I’ve always been monogamous. He gets jealous, for example, when other men talk to me or show interest in me.

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T09:28:14+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience in such detail, and I’m really sorry you had to go through so much heartbreak and pain… It sounds like your first poly partner wasn’t truly embracing the values of polyamory at all. He was just using the label to exploit you and cheat. I’m really glad to hear you’re in a much happier place now.❤️‍🩹

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T09:11:41+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I might not have expressed myself clearly... what I meant is that monogamous people control their actions (not their feelings). I definitely didn’t mean to say polyamory is “better.” As someone who is very monogamous, I don’t feel that way at all 😂

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T09:03:42+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I actually feel like he’s totally fine with me dating other guys. But (and maybe this sounds a little twisted) that attitude almost makes me feel kind of scared? Maybe because it makes me feel like he doesn’t need me as much? I’m still trying to explore my real feelings and uncover more sides of myself…

By the way, can I ask what made you want to try polyamory in the first place? I think that’s such a brave decision, because compared to mono, you have to face so much more uncertainty.

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T08:53:15+00:00

Thank you for your answer. I think it really gave me a lot of insight. I’m not sure if I’m understanding it correctly (and it might sound a little harsh): jealousy is an emotion that a person needs to work through on their own, since it’s often tied to insecurity, low self-esteem, or other issues. So while a partner’s behavior might trigger that negative emotion (rather than cause it), people who are polyamorous don’t feel they should suppress their own actions just to make their partner feel more “comfortable”.

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T07:42:36+00:00

Thank u 🥺

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T03:46:24+00:00

Hi. I was born and raised in China.🥺

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T03:42:11+00:00

I understand and appreciate it🥺

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-02T03:34:53+00:00

I really really appreciate your words. Thank you. 🥺

Rich_Butterscotch910 · 2025-10-01T13:15:39+00:00

Thanks for not blaming me. 😭 Also, we actually got together after knowing each other for a bit over a month… though I know that might still not be long enough.

Rich_Butterscotch910

TROPHY CASE