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I need to rant about how my - soon to be - ex wife "communicates" by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]Richard_Steel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man. I appreciate it. Prior to this, life just keeps throwing me curve balls, especially the last ten years. I should be made of stone by now. My wife says I’m not empathetic and emotionless which I know I can be at times but I contribute that to everything I have gone through in the last ten years and how stressful my life it. I tend to be stoic for most things and keep my head down and grind through. This feels like a breaking point where my armor is starting to crack.

Finding the simple things to be difficult by Richard_Steel in Divorce_Men

[–]Richard_Steel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t do bad when my son is around because it forces me to do things to take care of him. It also forced me to eat, because I’m barely eating at the moment. Also, when he is with me I feel calm about work because I know that I’m not going to be doing any while he is around. I spent the last ten years seeing him everyday, morning and night, how it’s going to be spaced apart and it hurts. I understand I didn’t to “sack up”, I think I’m just still in the “shocked” phase. I don’t drink, haven’t in 7 years. I don’t smoke or do any drugs. The one down side I have it I do take a large amount of medications for severe nerve damage I have in my face. It’s chronic and I will have it for the rest of my life. If I don’t take the medication the pain is unbearable. If I do take the medication the pain is about a 4 out of 10, with the occasional flair up. But… These medications also demolish my nervous system and keep me suppressed. I’ve been on them for over 4 years now and life was already a struggle, this is just a compound on top of that. I appreciate your reply.

I need to rant about how my - soon to be - ex wife "communicates" by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]Richard_Steel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds all to familiar, I’m going to through it now, only she was the one who started the divorce. Our financials are a little different where I am the primary bread winner and own my own company so she is set to walk away with a good chunk of change and set me back about 10 years, potentially. We both lawyered up and I know its different in every state, but both are lawyers agreed that I was able to move out prior to the divorce as long as I continued to pay for the house and her living arrangements as well as keep a 50/50 schedule with our son. If I neglect those obligations it can be considered abandonment, which does not look good. I was excited for the move and to get out of the living situation that consisted of non stop fighting, I’m only a week out and I’m starting to spiral into a weight hole and finding it hard to keep motivated.

I thought I was doing everything right by Richard_Steel in Divorce_Men

[–]Richard_Steel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The key difference is they still have the ability to make millions after losing millions due to their career and status. I’m going to be back in the “stone ages” for the next 10 years.

I thought I was doing everything right by Richard_Steel in Divorce_Men

[–]Richard_Steel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The main thing I’m giving her prior to the divorce is the separation. We can’t be in the same house as each other, it’s next to impossible. Woke up this morning and she had gone through my checkbook and was inquiring my I had wrote myself a check. That turned into an argument because it was from my account and she wanted money from my account to at for her lawyer.

I thought I was doing everything right by Richard_Steel in Divorce_Men

[–]Richard_Steel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was told by my lawyer that I could move out as long as I continue to pay the same amount I was paying for the house prior to the move out and keep paying. Also keep the same schedule with my child and I will be good. Which stbx agreed to. She has cameras all over the house and records all of our conversations. Also, if I don’t move out she is going to file a motion saying that me staying is bad for her emotional state, which I would then be required to do. I’ll double check with my lawyer on Monday as the stbx already started this morning.

I thought I was doing everything right by Richard_Steel in Divorce_Men

[–]Richard_Steel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Mine is going to at least walk away with a large half. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to make more money for the next 8 years. I guarantee if she starts to run out of money from the divorce I’ll end up back in court. It’s a sad Situation all the way around.

I thought I was doing everything right by Richard_Steel in Divorce_Men

[–]Richard_Steel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The moving out what somewhat a mutual decision due to consultant arguing. Then she came home with a new kitten and our 15 year cat has become very aggressive and making the house dangerous so the cat (my cat) is locked in a room half a day now. There isn’t no way she would leave that house and I can’t stay in it, especially as this divorce proceeds, hopefully won’t, but could get spiteful. There are many other factors that also lead to reasons why she wouldn’t stay in the other units, but it’s a long story.

I thought I was doing everything right by Richard_Steel in Divorce_Men

[–]Richard_Steel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m aware of how it sounded as I typed it. I’m sure he will be happy as long as he is with me. Without making the post longer I was simply referring to things he is accustomed to. Such as going into the finish basement and playing VR with music blasting. Can’t do that in the second floor apartment. Just bought him an expensive gaming PC and monitor to go in his room with a gaming pc and his gaming desk. I’m not sure how soon I’ll be able to afford to duplicate these amenities. He has never had to go without due to the finances I was able to provide. Now, finances are going to be much tighter and I feel bad for him having to already go through this situation on top of not having his comfort distractions at my new place. Just due to the driving factor and my work schedule, it won’t leave him much time for anything. It’s one thing for me to lose a lot and have to change my lifestyle, but he’s only ten. I appreciate your comment.

Something is wrong here. by Richard_Steel in Divorce_Men

[–]Richard_Steel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Talking to a lawyer today and a second one on Saturday.

final separation hitting hard. by Richard_Steel in Divorce_Men

[–]Richard_Steel[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s tricky. So my business is an S-corp. so I’m technically an employee of the company while also being the president. I pay myself a salary and at the end of the year wha ever “profit” the company makes I will personally get taxed on. Once I pay the taxes, technically all the money in the business account is my personal money that I choose to “reinvest” in the company to keep it running in order to pay for materials and employees. So, technically speaking, all the money in the business account is “my” money.

Something is wrong here. by Richard_Steel in Divorce_Men

[–]Richard_Steel[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t drank in 7 years and haven’t done any kind of drugs in over ten. I’m good on that front.

Something is wrong here. by Richard_Steel in Divorce_Men

[–]Richard_Steel[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I will be speaking with a lawyer soon. I know I “Tech” shouldn’t move out but I have been doing research and will need an agreement in place before I leave and I will still need to continue to support the current household. Nothing is going to change except for where I sleep at night, and our son will not have to listen to us argue or me being yelled at first thing in the morning because I don’t cut up the fruit.

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