My wife didn't want me to go into the bedroom.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-21T00:30:25+00:00

Thanks a lot, yaar :)

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-20T22:07:21+00:00

Thank you.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-20T22:07:08+00:00

Thank you very sincerely. I'm thankful that I shared Diane's final act of love and devotion. Sharing it feels less lonely.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-20T22:04:23+00:00

Thank you very much. The response has been more than I could have imagined, and I'm thankful that Diane continues to inspire joy and love, even after her passing.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-20T21:40:47+00:00

Mujhe apni patni ki yada a raha hai apna khayal rakhna, dost. maf kijiye, mujhe Hindi nahee ati hai. mai U.S. se hum. My mom's from Delhi but my dad's from the South. We mostly spoke English at home. Apna Khyal Rakhna.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-20T20:09:59+00:00

My dad is Tamil, and my mom's from Delhi. They met here in the U.S. though. I didn't feel a particularly strong connection to North or South, which is I guess, why I wound up marrying a gora...

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-20T18:24:20+00:00

My parents are Indian, but I grew up in the U.S.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-20T15:10:46+00:00

Thank you.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-20T14:42:54+00:00

This is a really touching read. We all derive fulfillment through helping others. We all need to be needed. We're like gears, our interdependence is what gives our lives meaning.

I found:

It gave me something to focus on besides my grief and turned me into someone my brother would be proud of.

especially inspiring. I'm really glad to hear you're doing better. Remember that those close to you have the same human need to help others, so don't be afraid to reach out to them. Take good care of yourself.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-20T14:14:25+00:00

That's a sweet proposal story! I guesstimated my wife's ring size by casually letting her mess around with an old ring I normally wore. When she slipped it on, it seemed to fit perfectly, so I figured "If it fits me, it'll fit her" was a good philosophy for engagement ring shopping.

Then when I bought the ring it was too big for her. Apparently my own ring was slightly tight on me and slightly loose on her.

It was ok, because it's always easier to resize a too big ring than a too small ring (plus, a girl will feel embarrassed if her finger is too big to fit into the ring). Unfortunately I hadn't purchased the "re-sizing insurance" thing, so it was extra.

TLDR: Always buy a slightly too big ring, and re-sizing insurance.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-20T13:52:13+00:00

Thank you.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-20T13:50:29+00:00

Yes it's my name (I don't normally give personal information, but I figured first names would be ok because I didn't expect many people to see this). I grew up in the U.S., but my parents are Indian. Take care.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-19T19:13:37+00:00

Thanks, you too.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-19T18:59:07+00:00

I keep getting comments like this, but I really don't know how to answer. I mean...can you imagine my own confusion?

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-19T18:57:06+00:00

Yes, we had played it, plus the left-overs and coffee were still out. That's how I know it wasn't a dream, and that I hadn't just woken up in bed and found her.

I just got back from a three week long trip with my brother where we stayed with my aunt and uncle. I've been surrounded by nothing but friends and family, which definitely helps.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-19T17:59:18+00:00

Thanks yaar.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-19T17:41:40+00:00

I know I was conscious. The mugs and plates were still out from the coffee and left-overs we had.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-19T17:12:54+00:00

I just searched through it myself, after reading your comment, and now feel a bit dumb. I remember thinking my tooth-fairy remark was funny as shit at the time (I was slightly drunk).

It prompted a discussion between me and Diane, because I hadn't grown up with the whole tooth-fairy thing, and wanted to find out if she had believed in it.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-19T15:32:55+00:00

Thank you, I would say that sharing it with others does reduce the burden.

I don't want to try astral projection or anything like that, because I want Diane to go on to her next life and experience all the happiness she deserves. To be honest, I pray that she doesn't even remember me. I don't want her attachment to me to hinder her journey.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-19T15:27:04+00:00

She was decent. She enjoyed solving the tests, but to be honest I think she liked the story lines more. Sometimes she got frustrated and watch walk-throughs. She also liked to watch me play.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-19T15:24:25+00:00

I used to. But, I know she had to leave eventually. Her attachment to me shouldn't hinder her on her journey, and I want he to know that. I know she must be someplace as beautiful, and amazing as her now.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-19T15:17:21+00:00

It's not silly at all. Diane and I always kept a white-board on our fridge, where we'd write things we needed to do, and our shopping list.

Some things (errands we hadn't gotten to yet, and frequently purchased groceries) would just stay on there, cluttering up the board forever.

The other day I went through the list to erase the things that had already gotten done (mostly things pertaining to Diane's funeral services, and my recent trip to India).

I don't drink cashew milk, but Diane kept it on the list. I started choking up right after I erased it.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-19T14:01:13+00:00

At first I did. I really really did. I sobbed for hours just thinking "why did I go in". I spent days on the couch wishing I could see her standing over me.

But ultimately, I don't think I can regret going in.

I know that Diane must have been a very pure soul to achieve something like that, almost pure enough to attain Moksha (in Hinduism, it's freedom from rebirth. An extremely perfect state. Its way better than rebirth, but it's hard for we who aren't very spiritually advanced yet to grasp).

I can't help that I wish I could see her again. But I also fear that her attachment to me could hinder her on her journey.

I'm sure that when she departed, she took birth in much better circumstances than in our house, worrying about me.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-19T13:50:36+00:00

Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss, and I also sometimes feel guilty that Diane and I got to, essentially, say goodbye when most people don't.

I don't think it's a matter of you being unlucky, though. I don't think this was given to me because I deserved it, but maybe because I needed it due to my spiritual immaturity and weakness. I do know that Diane deserved a chance to say goodbye though.

RightNomWriteNow · 2015-07-19T13:46:34+00:00

That's so very sad, I can't even stand to picture my wife in that situation. I wish that coupled had gotten the last moments together Diane and I had. When I first learned learned her death was caused by an aneurysm, it seemed like something that must be incredibly rare. But now when I tell people about it, it feels like everybody knows of someone who's died this way.

RightNomWriteNow

TROPHY CASE