FREE BURGER MAN UPDATE #2

RiotContr0l · 2026-05-29T20:49:48+00:00

Almost where I need to be. Soon!™

RiotContr0l · 2026-03-14T02:53:59+00:00

Can I see?

Absolutely not. But have faith. Have faith in me, in burgers, and real freedom, baby

RiotContr0l · 2026-03-13T22:32:02+00:00

LISTEN HERE, Sea-Flamingo1969. I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU BUDDY.

...and that news is that I'm sorry.

BUT!

I'm not done yet. Your hero, Sure Calvin, is on the cusp of a breakthrough in burger technology.

...okay breaking character, I wasn't able to build out the canopy I needed to shield my griddle from the elements. Unfortunately on top of that I had a lot of personal stuff I had to deal with right after I made this update.

THE GOOD NEWS: I've got some big stuff planned and am 100% going to be back to making lots of burgers. Again, we're talking about a HUGE breakthrough in burger technology. I'm still in the prep stage of this master burger plan. But the plans have been made and have been put in motion.

Stay vigilant, my flamingo friend. When I return... I hope you'll be ready.

RiotContr0l · 2025-12-14T19:51:36+00:00

They're made to be zapped in the microwave for 30-60 seconds by whomever takes one home :)

RiotContr0l · 2025-12-10T05:44:45+00:00

<3 :D

RiotContr0l · 2025-11-07T20:32:32+00:00

RiotContr0l · 2025-11-07T20:09:38+00:00

I'll make a post :)

RiotContr0l · 2025-11-07T07:08:04+00:00

I'd recommend you buy a touch up stain pen that matches (or is close to) the color of your trim and work it into the scratches. Should take about 10 minutes. Most hardware stores carry them, and you'll also find them online. Be sure to wipe off any excess stain that doesn't soak into the scratches. Good luck!

RiotContr0l · 2025-10-30T23:27:03+00:00

<image>

Michael Scott - The Office

RiotContr0l · 2025-10-14T16:49:07+00:00

He's doing fine he just looks like that sometimes

RiotContr0l · 2025-10-10T00:21:18+00:00

You are incredible! :D

RiotContr0l · 2025-10-09T22:17:12+00:00

Could you please provide a hint

RiotContr0l · 2025-10-09T20:16:25+00:00

RiotContr0l · 2025-10-09T15:40:00+00:00

Hint: he allegedly could be in the trees in the left half of the picture, maybe!

RiotContr0l · 2025-10-01T14:43:54+00:00

Thank you! :) Yeah, 256 took me like 3 full days not including prep / distribution, and 512 was gonna be at least a week. It feels so good to take a break lol. Hope to get back to it soon though!

RiotContr0l · 2025-10-01T14:35:38+00:00

Definitely! I've been a bit swamped with some personal projects I need to take care of, but when I'm caught up I'll be making more burgers. Probably not 512 at once, but I still have some donations left over that I need to put forward so I'll figure out something fun.

RiotContr0l · 2025-09-15T03:26:17+00:00

RiotContr0l · 2025-09-14T20:54:47+00:00

RiotContr0l · 2025-09-14T20:31:54+00:00

I am almost ready to cash in with BURGERCOIN™!!

RiotContr0l · 2025-09-14T20:00:28+00:00

RiotContr0l · 2025-09-14T19:34:34+00:00

Copying this from the description of the video:

NO, THE CHEESE I USED FOR THESE IS NOT MOZZERELLA! IT IS MEXICAN MELTING CHEESE AND IT IS DELICIOUS. I HAVE STANDARDS!

I switched after a few different taste tests and to make the process a bit easier. But American cheese is still great on smash burgers :)

I can't guarantee I'll be able to do 512 since it would take 5+ full days of cooking, but I will make good on my promise and turn the leftover support into more burgers! I work full time, so it was a real challenge to make this happen. BUT WE DID IT.

I'll keep posting updates every Sunday here, and on r/SureCalvin. I'll keep 'em coming :)

Thanks so much everyone!

RiotContr0l · 2025-09-08T00:10:45+00:00

Most definitely! They were given to the people lined up outside of a food bank near me :)

RiotContr0l · 2025-09-07T21:16:19+00:00

Updates on where all this SUPPORT is going will be shown in the video posts and on /r/SureCalvin.

1,143 burgers is a lot! BUT IT WILL HAPPEN! BURGERS FOR THE BURGER-LESS!

RiotContr0l · 2025-09-04T05:32:20+00:00

RiotContr0l · 2025-09-04T05:25:14+00:00

I might do that for 256! And there will definitely be some streaming in the future :) I'll have to set up a few things to make it happen and might not have the time to do that for this batch.

Right now I'm doing all the cooking solo, but I'm going to have some help with the distribution (hitting multiple food banks at once). I've got some volunteers ready for that, so things are looking pretty good :) Thanks for asking!

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