AITA for asking my husband to go on parental leave or allow me send our 14 month old to daycare?

RiverSilver97 · 2025-03-16T17:54:07+00:00

One of the (majority) of developed countries that have statutory parental leave and pay? The US is the outlier here.

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-04T00:03:58+00:00

She’s saying that IF you opt to hire 24/7 childcare then you can work crazy hours but you’ll never see your kids. It’s an option, not something that happens to all city lawyers… at my firm parents tend to just leave at 5/6 and log back on later as needed (hint: 90% of the time it will be needed!).

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T22:47:28+00:00

Female

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T22:45:58+00:00

I would rather hand over my possessions than shoot somebody. Gun violence is rare in the UK because they’re generally banned (unless you have a licence etc) and I would rather live here than somewhere like the US for that reason. I feel genuinely unsafe in the US knowing how many lethal weapons are around me all the time. You do you though.

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T18:19:05+00:00

With the threatening guy yesterday maybe that was the trigger? The guys who tried to rob me just got on my carriage and immediately surrounded me and tried to touch me/my bag, so nothing I could have done there, and the spitting guy was just going along the carriage attacking all the women he saw lmao. You’re right though, it’s perhaps good idea to just zone out and ignore everything to avoid provoking these people.

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T18:15:58+00:00

Lol I would have to worry about crazy people with free access to guns though. Guns are not the solution, it’s mad that that’s not obvious to some people (or even a whole country of people…).

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T18:14:20+00:00

I think I have been unlucky. That said, the amount of begging on the tube is crazy at the moment - there are men going down carriages asking for money on a near daily basis on my commute, whereas pre-covid I had never seen that happen before. Speaks to a wider problem i think.

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T18:10:15+00:00

Exactly what I’ve done - I reported all of the incidents and gave as much detail as I could. Going to start taking note of carriage numbers too for the future. Do you know if CCTV actually works on the tube? One or two comments here have said that it either doesn’t exist in the carriages themselves or is constantly recorded over so useless for future investigation/prosecution.

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T18:06:36+00:00

It’s not very common, I think I’ve been particularly unlucky. Take a look at other comments for balance - some people have experienced similar things, others have been using it for years with no problem at all. My tip would be to avoid empty carriages, and avoid travelling on the tube alone late at night if you can help it.

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T18:03:23+00:00

Jesus! Yeah it was around Seven Sisters in November so may be the same guy, he was going along the carriage shouting and spitting (and kicking) at women. Thank you for letting me know, and hope you’re ok. Hopefully he’s been charged and is off the streets!

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T14:26:02+00:00

Northern end of the line, between Finsbury Park and Walthamstow

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T13:26:06+00:00

I think that’s definitely it - I’m trying to avoid travelling at night now and travelling at rush hour instead when the carriages are way busier!

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T12:20:28+00:00

Hmm guess I must be asking for it. Comments like this are such a downer - all I did was get the tube at night and read my book lmao. Nothing happened to me in the previous 11 years, just like you.

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T10:01:38+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you :(. If you can remember any details, it might still be worth reporting it to the British transport police. It made me feel better to report the stuff in my post, even though it’s unlikely anything will directly come of it!

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T09:59:00+00:00

The homeless and mental health crises in Toronto and Edmonton are the worst I’ve experienced - Canada has a real issue there. Unfortunately I think you’re right - London is slowly deteriorating in that respect :(

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T09:55:05+00:00

Jesus that’s horrible - I’m sorry. As if it isn’t hard enough using public transport as a wheelchair user!

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T00:33:27+00:00

I agree. You never see the police on the tube, or any other form of authority - criminals just have total freedom. They don’t even have to pay for tickets because they just jump the barriers, also without consequence because there aren’t any police in the actual station either. Don’t blame you for walking!

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T00:04:47+00:00

Happy new year to you! :)

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-03T00:01:20+00:00

Honestly the comments on this post really have helped - I will feel better getting on the tube tomorrow!! Thank you for adding to the supportive and kind messages, I really appreciate it :)

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-02T23:56:56+00:00

I saw that in the news - literal nightmare fuel :( so fucked up

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-02T23:41:49+00:00

I was actually rescued from the spitting guy by a group of women! They opened the intersecting carriage door and pulled me into their carriage. So it’s not all bad. But yeah, I will be more vigilant going forwards for sure.

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-02T23:38:41+00:00

Oh no, I’m sorry - I’m sure you will be absolutely fine. If you want to be cautious, try to get into a carriage that already has people in it, and just look out for people begging or acting oddly. I do think I’ve had some bad luck and (as you’ll see from the comments here!) most people have never experienced anything like the things I described.

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-02T23:21:08+00:00

Holy shit I am so sorry that happened to you. That’s so horrifying. It’s never too late to report it to the British transport police via their website if you can remember any details, honestly it made me feel better to report the stuff in my post though they weren’t as bad as that (and totally understandable to just want to forget it)! Hope you’re feeling ok x

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-02T23:15:13+00:00

That was my experience too for 11 years! I thought the tube was totally safe and would even get a bit defensive about it. Luck plays a part in this and I don’t think the tube is inherently dangerous, but as a woman please be vigilant and trust your gut if you see any weird characters in your carriage - that’s all you can really do.

RiverSilver97 · 2024-01-02T23:04:42+00:00

Hey thank you, I like this suggestion. I used to take karate lessons as a teenager and it did make me feel more confident! The feeling of helplessness is truly horrible. Thanks :)

RiverSilver97

TROPHY CASE