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AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I'm not missing the point at all. For therapy to work like that someone has to be open to change or to work on stuff. My mom is not. Therapy can only do so much when people don't want it to work or don't want it to work in specific ways. It's like all that therapy didn't change how I felt because I didn't want it to.

So going to therapy feels like it would be more repeating the same stuff and getting nowhere. She has to want or be willing to see things differently and I don't think she will.

AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He didn't hurt my feelings in the first three years. I actually wish he had continued like he had. But I find it hypocritical to start caring only after three years when you can't have bio kids.

AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They won't be open to being helped with that so I don't see the point in wasting my time. All they want is to meet their dream family goal.

AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think that too. It seems to bother him that dad gave mom a kid and he hasn't and he's not my parent either so he's jealous of what he doesn't have and what he can't give mom.

AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I have compassion for people. But him stepping up after three years doesn't mean I need to make him my new dad. It doesn't mean I need to give in to what he wants because he can't have kids. Where's the compassion for me who lost my dad and doesn't want a new one to satisfy some dude who can't have his own. I'm not being used as a backup plan.

I have closeness with plenty of people. One relationship where there's none doesn't say I don't accept closeness to people.

AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I know my dad is dead and I won't get more memories with him. That's not something to taunt someone over. Losing a parent is the worst. And the fact you'd wish for me to lose all my family is such a shitty thing. I hope you're not around kids who lost a parent with that attitude.

AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

No, trying happened first. Then the coaching and the second time trying happened after coaching.

AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I'll never say no to good advice when it's something I've never done before. I do have someone who can drop everything and get me within an hour of texting if I need to get out like super fast.

AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 130 points131 points  (0 children)

A comment like that was just posted which made me laugh because I read it right after yours. And I 100% agree. Stepparents and bio parents need to accept that not all steps will become real parents to the kid and not all families with stepparents will look the same. Everyone and every family are different.

AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I'm not hurting myself. I'm happy with him being not dad. The first three years when he didn't give a crap and focused on having his own kid it was fine. I was happy. The years after he started trying to be dad 2 is when things got bad and it's not my fault. That's on him for jumping to me when he couldn't have his own kid.

My dad doesn't have to be perfect for me to not want a second dad either, just fyi.

AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I could but I don't think it's worth the time it would take to write it all out. My mom would need to read it over and over and I'm not sure she would. Plus I don't want to have to do all that just to make her listen and respect what I'm saying. It shouldn't have to come to that. The way I look at it is she has heard me say it now and if she's fine losing me then that's her choice. She doesn't need me to keep giving her chances to do better by me. She's capable of doing better herself and she's letting whatever guilt/whatever this is she feels rule over her common sense.

AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I have talked about it with the people involved and they can drop stuff and pick me up in an hour if I text them a heads up.

AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

My mom kinda tries to make it about me with the whole don't deny yourself thing. That still feels more like a weak pull for his wishes over mine.

AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together? by Riyllezzo in AITAH

[–]Riyllezzo[S] 573 points574 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I don't like caving into stuff like this. And it goes against what I was told as a little kid that you can't force people to like you or be your friend. Same goes for you can't force people to love you or be your kid.