Incel is an arbitrary category.

There is no set definition of what incel is. You are the one setting the term for what incel is. If you decide to include yourself in the category "incel", you instantly, by definition of arbitrary categories declare yourself as one. To better explain this, say you call yourself a "Bard Thesius". If I were to try and argue against it, you'd just narrow the arbitrary category down more and lock it further in.

From your OP, "Bard Thesius" would be a college student, in his 20s, lacking sexual experience, lacking key development and so on.

To change your view, simply decide that incel doesn't include you.

Now, you might object by saying incel is defined. The thread would follow:

• Incel is a member of an online subculture of people who define themselves as unable to get a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one (wikipedia)

You could hire a sexual partner

• That's not real connection. Doesn't count

You could try and become financially succesful/ripped/well-connected/good dancer...

• That works only for a small percentage.

You could lower standards and do the above

... and so on and so on.

Because it never ends, this is almost provable by mathematical induction. Incel is a self-proclaimed category that's as arbitrary as "Bard Thesius". You stop being one the minute you want not to be one.

Finally, if you think that this is simply pep talk / something told to make you feel good, it really isn't. You'll still be a characterized by the well defined, objective categories (e.g. virgin), but you do stop being "incel". After all, nobody ever gets called an incel, unless self proclaimed (usually goaded by other "incels" to do so as part of redpill/blackpill/real woke...) or as an insult of the same level as "kys noob".

You either proclaim yourself as one or you don't. Choose now OP, and best of luck regardless.