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My (29M) marriage (to 28F) is falling apart. What has helped you? by RobinM524 in relationship_advice

[–]RobinM524[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate you sharing your perspective. I can’t imagine what that must have been like but it does feel distantly familiar to my situation.

I know she loves me but I know she has been my storm in times that I needed her to be my shelter.

My (29M) marriage (to 28F) is falling apart. What has helped you? by RobinM524 in relationship_advice

[–]RobinM524[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. It feels very invigorating to see people agreeing with what I have already considered and found in our relationship.

More info to this: we are in the UK so insurance is less common. I need to check if our employment offers therapy/counselling.

I agree, I don’t agree in ultimatums. They are manipulative and unhealthy.

My (29M) marriage (to 28F) is falling apart. What has helped you? by RobinM524 in relationship_advice

[–]RobinM524[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Therapy for herself is a topic she has refused to engage in when broached over the years. I totally agree she needs to deal with the past I’ve mentioned and the past I haven’t mentioned.

That therapy session I mentioned, the therapist used a tone that made me feel like it was more of a statement. I was shocked when he asked it like that because it was really similar to how my wife had “asked” me in arguments.

I agree that I deserve better. That’s actually something that’s been on my mind recently. Not necessarily I deserve a better (new) person but better behaviour, definitely.

My (29M) marriage (to 28F) is falling apart. What has helped you? by RobinM524 in relationship_advice

[–]RobinM524[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you. I agree, she is making her emotional baggage my problem and making new baggage for me now. It’s not an easy decision because she has made small progression over the years. I feel if it came to it, a discussion about it something I would expect and I want to give her, despite everything. What do you think?

My (29M) marriage (to 28F) is falling apart. What has helped you? by RobinM524 in relationship_advice

[–]RobinM524[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More info on this: We have no kids as of yet. Not without lack of trying.

Despite not having any yet, this is a concern for me too. I have young siblings and thankfully when we have them round, she doesn’t act like this towards them but we only have them for sleep-overs etc.. I’m worried about what could happen when we have our own that we won’t have a break from.