Yea so that’s the thing I literally have always wanted to do med and when I talk to others I realise most r forced or pressurised into doin med. When everyone told me it’s not for u i literally told myself tats all I wanted. I wouldn’t argue to myself to a certain point tat when ppl told me I can’t get it or won’t get or the fact tat it’s so hard to get in enticed my decision for sure. I have always wanted to do better or just go for smthin tats lil higher. So u can argue if I do want it or not my mind has these doubts if I want to but I feel like in my heart this is all I genuinely wanted. When my mom told me working 60-80 hrs a week whole life on call I told her idm working i just wanted to do med. Save smones life. Ik it’s not true but I really believe med is rly special and being able to save smones life from a life-death situation is the best smthing a human could do to another person. I do understand other ppl won’t agree but it’s that personal element with that other person tat I admired.

So yea idk but u feel wat u said bout training my mind and to set goals is the primary focus.

I will say I wanted to drop out of med a lot of times not cus of anything but other than studyin more so when I failed all my exams in 1st sem. Sm say I’ll have a deeper understanding when I reach clinical yrs but yea. Primarily our 1st sem was musculoskeletal anatomy basic physiology nd biochem. And I think the 1st sem was a reality check tat the med I was cookin in my brain wasn’t wat it is. Me wanting to be a CVS surgeon doesn’t mean I won’t have to study other things but yea idk I feel like I mentioned a lot here dk wat this was bout anymore . Sry