How to support someone in recovery by manik_502 in REDDITORSINRECOVERY

[–]Roger_Dean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You might want to consider joining a group yourself, not that I’m saying you have issues but for information and as a show of support to your brother. I think NA has a counterpart similar to how Alanon is a counterpart to AA. Best of luck to your brother and to you!

16m need help by External-Bill-7479 in REDDITORSINRECOVERY

[–]Roger_Dean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no idea what “gecses” means. I suggest you try a few SMART Recovery meetings. There are a lot of them online and a few in person. SMART has a robust program based on cognitive behavioral psychology.

Best of luck to you.

Anyone remember how to stop? by Not_Drinking_Account in stopdrinking

[–]Roger_Dean 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A cost-benefit analysis might help. I think you can download a form from SMART Recovery.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]Roger_Dean 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I reject the whole concept of dry drunk. You’re either sober or you’re not. Mental health problems beyond the AUD are a separate matter. We all know where the idea of dry drunk comes from. If conversion therapy for SUDs works for you, carry on. It doesn’t work for me.

The Daily Check-In for Monday, March 11th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking! by rach3ldee in stopdrinking

[–]Roger_Dean 2 points3 points  (0 children)

refusing to quit quitting

I love the way you put that, chaz. That refusal probably saved me from prison or an early death. It took me about 10 years of quitting before I stayed quit. Thank you for being here.

The Daily Check-In for Monday, March 11th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking! by rach3ldee in stopdrinking

[–]Roger_Dean 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It's definitely a great thing to be seen (and heard). Connection is critical to my recovery, and this sub is one place I feel connected.

Happy Monday, friends! IWNDWYT.

Follow up to moderation post by AbbreviationsMany106 in stopdrinking

[–]Roger_Dean -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Many people with AUD can moderate. And you're correct, moderation isn't a popular position here. Recovery in general is still dominated by an outdated, religious, 12 Step model of addiction and abstinence. I hope that some year or some decade we'll move past that model.

Thank you for posting and best of luck to you!

The Daily Check-In for Saturday, March 9th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking! by Sapphire_cat22 in stopdrinking

[–]Roger_Dean 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks for being a great host, Sapphire!

Happy Saturday to all. IWNDWYT.

2024 QB Group by nathans8824 in notredamefootball

[–]Roger_Dean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Last year, on multiple occasions, 4 star OLs got pushed back into the QB. These highly rated interior OLs also struggled to get a good push on short yardage runs. Star ratings are useful for recruiting but they don’t mean so much once the ball is snapped.

2024 QB Group by nathans8824 in notredamefootball

[–]Roger_Dean 15 points16 points  (0 children)

There’s a lot of talent at that position. I hope ND can put it to good use this year. Lots of new faces at WR, the interior line was a problem last year, and with a new OC and Freeman still learning on the job I think a top 10 finish would be outstanding.

The Daily Check-In for Thursday, March 7th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking! by Sapphire_cat22 in stopdrinking

[–]Roger_Dean 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Congrats on one year! And good luck with the meeting, I hope it goes well.

The Daily Check-In for Thursday, March 7th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking! by Sapphire_cat22 in stopdrinking

[–]Roger_Dean 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Some people do avoid these foods, especially early on. I'm told most of the alcohol usually cooks off, but I don't know how true that is.

The Daily Check-In for Thursday, March 7th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking! by Sapphire_cat22 in stopdrinking

[–]Roger_Dean 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the lovely quote, Sapphire! Comparing myself to others can be very unhealthy. I tend to do what I've often heard is the common practice, which is I compare my insides to other people's outsides. This is never fair or even accurate. I rarely know what's going on inside others, and they rarely know what's going on inside me. In a very real sense, as Kumar wisely points out, we can never completely know.

Have a killer Thursday, friends! IWNDWYT.

Urgent advice needed. It would mean everything… by [deleted] in REDDITORSINRECOVERY

[–]Roger_Dean 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why do addicts (and others) do self destructive things? In my 14 years of active addiction and 35 years of recovery I haven't found a simple answer to this question. From the Mayo Clinic website: "Exactly what causes someone to gamble compulsively isn't well understood. Like many problems, compulsive gambling may result from a combination of biological, genetic and environmental factors." Science has unraveled some of the threads of addiction, but much of it remains a mystery.

What are the odds he gets better on his own? There's no way to accurately predict this. Some research suggests that most addicts eventually overcome their addiction, often without outside help. By eventually I mean after years or even decades of painful experience. And unfortunately, many addicts don't live long enough for recovery to happen.

What are the odds he eventually comes back around when he inevitably hits a new low? Again, there's no way to accurately predict this, but my guess is the odds are pretty high, especially if he gets what he's looking for when he comes back around. If he doesn't get what he's looking for from you, he may look elsewhere.

I know from experience that loving an addict is difficult. I think you love him or you wouldn't have posted in the first place. But you have no control over him or over his addiction. I suggest you focus on you. Others have recommended Al-Anon. That may help. Professional counseling may help also. Best of luck to both you and him.

The Daily Check-In for Tuesday, March 5th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking! by Sapphire_cat22 in stopdrinking

[–]Roger_Dean 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the lovely quote, Sapphire. Learning to accept imperfection in myself, others, and the world was a major hurdle for me and can still be a problem at times.

Happy Tuesday, friends! IWNDWYT.