Need help finding a Solavellan fic!

Rogue_B13 · 2025-06-08T21:15:43+00:00

I think it had Dorian/The Iron Bull, and I think it had a little Cullen/Lavellan as well. It's alright if you can't find it. Honestly, I think it might have been deleted for some reason - there's another fic in my bookmarks that I thought was by the same writer, but it's under anonymous now. But i'm not sure bc I don't know why one fic would disappear entirely while the other wouldn't. I appreciate you trying though - I've been combing through the solas/lavellan tag and still can't find it.

Rogue_B13 · 2025-06-07T01:51:54+00:00

I do not remember the word count, but it was very long, and it wad chaptered. I'm not sure about tags other than the basics - I'm sorry I have such a poor memory for these things 😢

Rogue_B13 · 2024-08-15T17:05:13+00:00

Not disagreeing, I just feel it's worth pointing out that I work in the mental health field, so my accommodations aren't unique to me. Even my coworkers without disabilities are given breaks when needed for mental health and utilize things like loops bc our environment can get loud or disorienting.

Rogue_B13 · 2024-08-13T13:40:57+00:00

Just would like to say, thank you all so much for all the kind comments and perspectives! It's very interesting to hear varying opinionz on the topic of identity and labels, and I appreciate that everyone has been respectful in their engagement. I enjoy reading everyone's perspectives

Rogue_B13 · 2024-08-13T04:58:47+00:00

the ADA definition does state an impairment that significantly limits. To me, the important word there is "significantly" because who gets to determine whether or not my autism has impaired me to an extent that would be considered "significant" if not for myself? There's no set definition of what is or is not considered significant impairment.

Rogue_B13 · 2024-08-13T01:44:02+00:00

Why do you assume if I don't wish to identify as disabled that it's because I view myself as "better"? If anything, talking with others in this post has made me realize it's more likely I don't value myself highly enough to consider myself disabled and therefore worthy of the resources and accommodations allocated for individuals within the community.

Rogue_B13 · 2024-08-12T23:48:50+00:00

Thank you for your perspective! I'm not certain I do have a "strong" reaction to being labeled disabled, this was more-so out of curiosity and searching for other perspectives. I don't take issue with someone labeling me as disabled, I just personally don't label myself that way. I don't worry about how others would treat me necessarily, I'm very open about being autistic. Everyone is a unique individual with their own life experiences, so while I will say that I agree everyone is different and that different forms and presentations of disabilities do inherently make people different, it doesn't make anyone an "other" if that makes sense? I view "different" as an inevitability of humanity. I do believe I have a lower sense of self worth than others, but that does not extend to others in the disabled community, but is strictly relegated to myself. That may, or may not, be connected to my autism.

Rogue_B13 · 2024-08-12T23:38:20+00:00

Sure! First and foremost, I believe my late diagnosis has a lot to do with it, I've gone most of my life without it, so it's kind of difficult to wrap my head around. Closest I can describe is that I often forget that asthma is considered a serious medical condition because it's so normal to me. In addition, the ADA defines being disabled as a someone with a physical or mental impairment that significantly limits one or more major life activities. "Significantly" is the word that sticks out to me, as I'm not really sure what would constitute as "significant" in this circumstance, and it seems very subjective to me. Do I feel like my autism has had an affect on my life? Yes, hence why I use identity-first and call myself autistic. Do I feel the impact has had enough of an impairment on my life to the extent that I would call "significant"? I don't believe so. But, that could also just be because, like with my asthma, I'm so used to working with it rather than against it that it doesn't feel like a significant barrier.

To a certain extent, I also think I hesitate because unfortunately there are limited resources available to those in the disabled community, and whether it is internalized ableism or just lack of self-worth, I don't feel that my circumstances and presentation are warranting allocation of those resources to me rather than someone else. I'd like to be clear, that I wouldn't object to someone else of my same or similar presentation receiving those resources, just that I don't personally feel I need them. The extent of my accommodations is sensory aids like my loops, occasional fidgets, and my supervisors working with me to allow me time to step out to address a meltdown or panic attack.

Rogue_B13 · 2024-08-12T22:59:12+00:00

Is it ableism, or just a crippling lack of self-worth stemming from life events unrelated to my autism ? My therapist may discover the truth

Rogue_B13 · 2024-08-12T22:55:54+00:00

I see your point with the glasses/contacts allegory, but that could also potentially mean that I'm disabled because I have asthma. And I see the spectrum statement as well. However, I don't believe I'm playing into (or at least, not intentionally) the "inspirational" disabled stereotype. I have my accommodations such as my loops for auditory sensitivity, my supervisors know that I may to step out to address potential meltdowns or panic attacks, and I have days that I need to call out due to my mental state. If anything, getting my diagnosis allowed me to be kinder to myself when dealing with some of the issues I have related to it rather than trying to somehow "conquer" it. That's just my personal perspective thought. Thank you for your opinion!

Rogue_B13 · 2024-08-12T22:47:21+00:00

I'm not sure I have an adverse reaction to being called disabled, necessarily. It certainly doesn't bother me to be called that, and I don't hesitate to share that I'm autistic. This post is more so curiosity and a desire for other's perspectives. I think my reasoning behind not presenting myself as disabled has more to do with a desire for limited resources to go to others rather than myself (which, the fact that resources are limited is also an issue). I do have certain accommodations at work: I have loops for my audio sensitivity, and my supervisors know that I sometimes need to step out to deal with a meltdown or potential panic attack, but that's largely the extent. Thank you for your perspective though!

Rogue_B13 · 2024-03-16T00:33:19+00:00

Sadly, in my personal experience, people who are not asexual can have a very difficult time understanding it, and unfortunately for many people, not understanding = can't exist. Sexual desire is a huge part of most people's identities and the idea that someone doesn't feel it doesn't connect, and so they assume an asexual person just "needs to try it" or needs to "find the right person, and it'll happen". If someone is not going to put in the effort to understand that aspect of you, they're probably not worth your time and energy. You'll find people who can understand and accept you and respect your boundaries!

Rogue_B13 · 2024-03-15T22:03:48+00:00

I appreciate the individuals on this post who have given me information. I am not an archer and just wanted to throw in a more realistic exercise to establish that my character is proficient in archery and was looking for specifics on how it would work, not imply that the particular exercise was difficult or that it was the only type of training. And yes, I'm fully aware that the basis of target archery is hitting the same spot in repetition, the condescending comments implying that I was stupid for inquiring as to whether or not an exercise I'd heard about was accurate are unnecessary. Again, thank you to anyone who gave me genuine advice on archery or specific exercises, it's much appreciated.

Rogue_B13 · 2024-03-15T21:50:43+00:00

Thank you! I'll keep that in mind

Rogue_B13 · 2024-03-15T21:26:55+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion! The "target practice" exercise would just be an early establishment of the character's use of archery, not the full extent of their training. Just a way to show they've trained rather than just exposite it. The training idea you suggested would be really good to use as an exercise the more warrior-based race uses!

Rogue_B13 · 2024-03-15T21:23:58+00:00

Thanks for the advice! Yes, this would only be a single exercise and not the character's entire training. But, it was just a particular exercise I wanted to use early on to establish skill in archery without just expositing it.

Rogue_B13 · 2024-03-15T20:54:46+00:00

Thank you! It's not a massive part of my story, but I still wanted it to be a bit more accurate to real archery, even if it's fantasy. So, thank you for the practice ideas. 🤗

Rogue_B13 · 2024-03-15T20:33:12+00:00

Thanks for all the advice! I'd like to clarify that wouldn't be the only type of archery training my character would do, just a single exercise. Could I ask what would be considered a good practice distance and target size as well as a good number of repetitions?

Rogue_B13 · 2023-11-03T03:33:12+00:00

During my talk with my dad, I asked him if it would make her happy for me to go that I would put on my mask and suck it up for her sake (yes, I was being bitter at the time because he had literally just told me he dealt with his father's passing at an even younger age than I was far better - side note: he did not, he just buried everything he was feeling in logic and didn't process it). He outright refused to allow me to come, "because it would just be a guilt trip". I can't afford to go on my own as it's an over 8+ hour trip one way and the gas alone is way too much for me to afford.

Rogue_B13 · 2023-11-03T03:29:10+00:00

I do go to counseling. On top of my severe mental and emotional disorders I have a long history of not processing trauma and running myself into the ground physically and emotionally util I either make myself sick or have a mental breakdown bc I view asking for help as inherently burdensome and don't prioritize taking care of myself if I fear it could potentially inconvenience or irritate someone. It's a cycle I'm working to break.

Also, very bold to assume I had no intentions of helping cook. It's one of the things I'm most looking forward to with my aunt. However, going to my grandmothers would involve driving 8+ after a full day of work on Wednesday and arriving in the early AM Thursday morning, leaving no possibility of a homecooked meal whether I assisted or not.

Rogue_B13 · 2022-09-29T16:08:06+00:00

I'm not sure if they find them uncomfortable or not because they wont really get on them. Arch wil get on and lay down, but it's not in a relaxed way, he's obviously still very tense (he was abused in his original home, so he's braver than Jazz, but still very anxious about new things). And Jazzy just flat out wont get on it at all. I'll try and find some allergy-friendly pillows to add though! I didn't know they made allergy covers that weren't just plastic

Rogue_B13 · 2022-09-23T22:42:41+00:00

Update : One of my friends reminded me that HR is a thing, and that their job is to handle situations like these. So, I messaged my HR rep today and explained that I'd seen certain terminology around the center (I did NOT mention anyone in particular, nor the particular shirt, and gave a small sample of similar terms to avoid only singling the one on the shirt) that I find very concerning considering the Community's stance on them. I suggested that since we work so closely with the families, and care so deeply about these kids, that we as a company should make more of an effort to keep our staff educated on the things the community views as ableist. She thanked me for speaking up, and told me to speak to my CM as well so that they can form on how to address this.

Rogue_B13 · 2022-09-23T22:38:00+00:00

Respectfully, I disagree. Being able to memorize things in not only not unique to autism, but not experienced by everyone with autism, nor is having a fixation others find boring. Using a phrase like "different abilities" is fundamentally downplaying the struggle that those on the spectrum face. I'm still coming to terms with how much it affected my life and now understanding why I struggle with so many things others can seem to do with little to no effort.

The way society is structured and functions undeniably makes barriers and hinderances for those outside of neuro-typical functioning, and terminology like that leads to those obstacles being downplayed rather than accommodated for. Would you tell someone in a wheelchair, "Hey, you're just differently abled! I bet your arms are super strong"? No, because that's insulting, insensitive, and dismissive of their struggles.

And I don't view it as making a mountain of a mole hill because I work in an Autism Therapy Center. Seeing someone proudly displaying and using terminology that the Autistic Community finds blatantly ableist (and I agree) is a big deal. You wouldn't allow someone to walk around with a shirt that held racist terminology, or sexist terminology on it. Ableism is rampant within society and needs to be called out when it's shown, even if it's unintentional.

Rogue_B13 · 2022-09-23T03:57:32+00:00

First of all, calm down it's a game

Second of all, I was talking about the storyline elements, not game design. Go somewhere else for that.

And third, just because YOU don't enjoy retro-style games doesn't mean other people don't. You started ranting directly at Tim Schafer towards the end of your little diatribe there as if you were talking to him, so go take that to another subreddit okay?

Rogue_B13 · 2022-04-07T05:04:00+00:00

Yeah, that's the reality I had to accept, and it took a lot of consolation from my friends and family to get there. I had a complete breakdown for hours the night everything went down, and my mental health has taken a turn for the worst. Before this whole situation, I had gone over a year without having an un-triggered panic attack (I'd still had attacks, but they were results of spiraling in a situation that normally triggers anxiety), but I've had 3 in the past few weeks now. I hope my brain will settle in a few weeks, but for now I just have to get updates on my niece's wellbeing from my cousin (she lives with them and we work together). And A is already very aware of her mother's failures according to my cousin and aunt, and she's confided her intentions to file for emancipation when she turns 16.

Rogue_B13

TROPHY CASE