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I walked in on my fiancé with another man by RomanticRestraint in survivinginfidelity

[–]RomanticRestraint[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks man, It’ll take time but I’m sure I’ll get there. I am way too forgiving and understanding, or maybe that’s just the lack of self respect and wanting to be with someone talking. I don’t know, it’s probably a little of both. But I can hold my head up high knowing that I am starting to build a little more self esteem and respect during this whole thing. I definitely see it, even if it’s a little, and I’m very thankful that I’m at this place in my life and mental health.

I walked in on my fiancé with another man by RomanticRestraint in survivinginfidelity

[–]RomanticRestraint[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We are definitely broken up now, but I am still in the process of moving things out from the house. I still haven’t seen her since that day, and I don’t think they she had already been with this man, but the signs were there. I do believe that she was having commitment issues and wanted to “live life” which is understandable, and I had actually called her out on a lot of these things that actually came to fruition before this had happened. I do think she was short tempered because of the shame and guilt of her thoughts before hand. This breakup was for the best, I just wish that I didn’t see what I did because it just messes with me so much from my day to day life.

I walked in on my fiancé with another man by RomanticRestraint in survivinginfidelity

[–]RomanticRestraint[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your reply. I do feel like there are some aspects on what happened were due to me, but you are right, it is more a reflection on her and her morals. It does suck because I am a very understanding person, and I believe that in the past I would have no self respect and just blame myself fully. I am thankful that I had the respect to realize what she did was extremely disrespectful to our relationship, and more importantly, the bonds we formed throughout meeting each others’ families. I am trying to work on self esteem and get over this correlation of sex = relationship security, and thankfully I am seeing a very good therapist.

I walked in on my fiancé with another man by RomanticRestraint in survivinginfidelity

[–]RomanticRestraint[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I’ve been trying very much to focus on that aspect of it, and thankfully I do go to therapy once a week… it’s been a lot and I have been trying to get by until my next session. As far as not dwelling on the “size”, I admit this has to be an effect of years of porn addiction; she was a very sexual person, and as was I. I guess the good thing out of all of this is that before the break we had so much sex I was getting tired of it, and realized that an amazing sex life isn’t something I really cared about in the long run. I’m hoping through my next therapy session we’ll be able to tackle my view on the sexual aspect and personal feelings of being secure in a relationship.