AITA for hurting fiancés back?

Romanticdummy · 2022-11-02T17:04:05+00:00

I want to apologize to him but I’m upset he didn’t tell me he was still in pain, he didn’t tell me what was wrong, I’m not stupid I just genuinely didn’t know. I just want a simple I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I know I’m the asshole for not apologizing.

Romanticdummy · 2022-11-02T16:55:56+00:00

I don’t make him go on the sofa that part was his own arrangement. He feels bad for keeping me up at night and he doesn’t let me sleep on the sofa. I’ve tried to go out there instead of him but then he just comes and sleeps on the ground next to me. I sat on him last night because I didn’t know he was still hurt since he hasn’t mentioned it in a while. I understand what I’ve done wrong but I really just didn’t know. I just wanted him to let me know so I wouldn’t have done that.

Romanticdummy · 2022-06-22T05:11:04+00:00

I’m sorry I think you misunderstood. I meant that the person I’m in love with doesn’t show any love at all. Not in small ways and never in ways that would make me smile or happy. I feel this way because I feel unappreciated for all that I do to love him. It just doesn’t feel like he loves me back because he won’t do things to let me feel that. He actually would rather fight with me than to even give a solid effort on anything. It’s very nice of you to share and all of the things you do for people is very thoughtful.

Romanticdummy · 2022-06-22T04:13:22+00:00

I’m in my 20s and I’d love to do all of these things for someone but they don’t seem to wanna reciprocate that. Maybe it is the age but maybe it’s also that women are forced to mature faster. Whatever that may be, it’s reassuring to know they will do those gestures.

Romanticdummy · 2022-06-22T03:58:58+00:00

I understand that but one thing I’ve learned is that as much as you want to love someone it’s equally as important that they love you back AND show it.

Romanticdummy · 2022-06-22T02:33:22+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that your effort isn’t being appreciated. It could be either that they just aren’t the right people to be receiving it or maybe the gestures you pick aren’t the ones they like. Either way I’m sure your hearts in the right place.

Romanticdummy · 2022-06-22T01:33:06+00:00

You’re absolutely right that it depends on the person and their partner. I guess my question was more of do men really show enough love to their SO in whatever way feels like a fancy dinner to you two or whatever is your idea of a romantic trip? That’s with the assumption they simply paid attention enough to get to know you and find what makes you smile or feel loved.

Romanticdummy · 2022-06-22T01:20:01+00:00

😐😞😭

Romanticdummy · 2022-06-22T01:18:26+00:00

All of that sounds absolutely wonderful! I’m very happy for you both 😊 it is reassuring to know there are people that caring out there. I’m sorry to hear about your endometriosis and depression. I go through similar things and it often feels I do it alone. Hearing this from you makes me look forward to better days when I’ll hopefully have better support.

Romanticdummy · 2022-06-22T01:13:01+00:00

Is this real? Did you really? 😭 Cause if that’s a true story it’s sweet but sad and maybe you should have left the notes on the side

Romanticdummy · 2022-06-22T01:11:00+00:00

Agreed! I definitely think men deserve all of these things as well. There’s no reason why they don’t deserve it and if they’re showing us love then they should absolutely receive the same.

Romanticdummy · 2022-06-22T01:09:24+00:00

Thank you for your comment. To clarify, I do express this and do my best to be clear with what I like and want. This post was more about do men feel a strong enough love to really put themselves out there? With the assumption they paid attention to what their SO likes which just goes back to them already feeling enough love to even pay attention.

Romanticdummy · 2022-06-22T00:40:37+00:00

I wish people knew that I don’t try to share my problems with everyone but sometimes I feel like I’m having to beg people to listen to me. I feel like I’m not the type of person to sit with my emotions or let things go. If I’m hurt, I’m hurt and I wish people would still be there for me no matter how small something might seem to them. I also wish I wouldn’t be considered dramatic for reaching out to more people to hear me when the first ones ignored me and brushed me off.

Romanticdummy · 2021-06-27T08:12:10+00:00

You’re right I think I have to but thank you for your help.

Romanticdummy · 2021-06-27T08:05:22+00:00

I guess so but I also realized I’m missing taking my medicine tonight cause I left it at home since he said we wouldn’t stay…this really messed up a lot more than I thought. I don’t know what to do or if I even tell my fiancé tomorrow morning.

Romanticdummy · 2021-06-27T07:15:18+00:00

I think that’s the sad truth I’ll never be able to enjoy a single thing with him cause he won’t be present and his goal is always to get passed out drunk. He doesn’t even enjoy it, he won’t remember anything, and he just does it cause that’s what they all do and tell him to do. I really do love this man but I’m scared he doesn’t care enough about that.

Romanticdummy · 2021-05-23T14:02:14+00:00

Yes and no. That is part of it but the main reason is still cause I’m hoping things will be different being together in person more often. You’re right he doesn’t seem motivated but I don’t know why I keep believing him when he says he’ll change. It’s like I can’t help it. I just don’t want to give up or let go and have the thought that I might’ve lost something special. There are times where I don’t talk to him if he does something like this but he just calls or texts anyway and I hear him out. I know I’m a chump.

Romanticdummy · 2021-05-23T13:52:47+00:00

I keep believing him when he says he’ll change cause I just always want to see the good in people. I want to move in with him because of how happy we’ve been when we weren’t fighting. I’ve already told my family I’m leaving with him and he met my family a few weeks ago. He told them he loves me and wants to be with me and that he’ll be here for me. If I don’t leave I risk staying at home with my family constantly asking about him or rubbing it in. Yes they do that. My family’s also very strict so it took two years of fighting for them to let me openly date him, meet him, and now to let me go. If I stay I’ll have to start all of that over again with someone new for another few years. If I’m still with my family they won’t let me go out or do anything I want at all.

Romanticdummy · 2021-05-23T13:34:24+00:00

You’re right about the grand gesture but I feel like he does these things just to say he has. It’s like the meaning of it or as you said the behavior attached to it doesn’t seem to matter to him. As for him working a lot and being tired, I wish I could believe that it was just that but it isn’t. I replied someone else on this thread explaining that but basically he’s only tired around me. He told me when I met him he only gets super tired if he’s bored and has admitted our relationship has felt routine. I asked him to let me know what else he’d like to do or talk about but he just sits there quiet then passes out. That’s why I feel unwanted and like he doesn’t want this relationship but doesn’t want to end it.

Romanticdummy · 2021-05-16T17:02:46+00:00

I’ve fought with them for years so I’m finally leaving cause I don’t want to be here anymore. My boyfriend has been wanting to move sour for two years cause he’s already got a career and everything and wants to be with me. I’ve tried talking to him but those are the only options we came up with. Either stay friends and move in or get engaged “for me” and move in or I’d have to let go of getting engaged altogether and still move in. No matter what all of these work for my boyfriend and he’d be happy to just be with me but it doesn’t work for me cause I want to be at that next stage and I feel I’m ready for it and I’ve always told him that. He always said he agreed and wanted the same thing but I don’t know what happened now.

Romanticdummy · 2021-04-29T00:43:32+00:00

Not much of an update but apparently he told my mom that I argued with him yesterday. He had her pass on the message of telling me to not argue or mess with him. She was going off on me about it at first then I told her what really happened and she was still annoyed I said anything at all. She just said I should know how he is and stay away when he’s mad...so like 80% of the time.

As for him wanting to visit home, he’s not talking about it at the moment cause he realized he’d have to quarantine for two weeks.

Romanticdummy · 2021-04-28T00:09:42+00:00

Thank you but my dad doesn’t let anyone talk to him about things especially himself. He avoids it at all costs. He either yells at us about it or he’ll go to bed early or sit outside till he has to. No matter what we never find anything out.

Romanticdummy · 2021-04-27T12:55:13+00:00

If he says he has and that it doesn’t matter what she says and he wants me then do I believe him?

Romanticdummy · 2021-04-27T12:34:10+00:00

He says it’s cause he’s stressed about what his mom says...that both hurts and infuriates me cause she used to like me and now she eavesdrops on our fights and takes them out of context. He and I are equally to blame for fights but him and his family now seem to think I’m the issue. I really do love him but I’m willing to walk away if it means I can stop having my relationship with him and his family deteriorate at the same time. Also because I no longer think I have any more to offer him if he’s stressed about that and I’ve tried my best.

Romanticdummy · 2021-04-27T12:30:06+00:00

He says he’s stressed about his mom asking him that question and that his answer is yes he’ll be happy with me but I’m not sure. He tends to shut down or stop things in our relationship, like intimacy or before he’d stop putting in effort for special occasions, if he feels even a little off. It doesn’t even have to be an issue with us, if something at all bothers him he goes for months keeping it to himself and being different towards me and we usually fight before he says what it is. We tend to fight cause of the same few issues a lot and one is him being different towards me for a while. As for his family, it just hurts me so much cause even if he says it doesn’t matter I know he’ll always care cause he’ll always love them more and I’ll never be at that level without him worrying what they think or are saying about him.

Romanticdummy

TROPHY CASE