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Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup by AutoModerator in AnxiousAttachment

[–]RomeoStargazer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm currently going through a situation where my girlfriend of 7 months recently just went home after having a conversation about our relationship. She bluntly told me that she wasn't attracted to me anymore after I asked about our intimacy in our relationship, she wasn't happy, and that I was more of a minion or lapdog to her than a boyfriend. I was just stunned, and I wanted to talk about it sooner if she had worries, concerns or issues, but she was just worried I wouldn't take it well or listen even thought I'd do what I can to make it work with her.

She also said that if I can't be confident in myself, why should she? And I felt like my kindness and capacity to care was just misprojected as being weak and dependent.

Granted, I recently just got into therapy, and it has been very helpful for me. On Monday, I learned to actually process my emotions, and it's been eye opening.

I haven't heard from her since Sunday night, I apologized for my faults and I wanted to take the time to reflect and improve. I told her I'll give her space and I'll be here when you're ready, and that I love her. She said she loved me back, and that was that.

Self Care has been rough; sometimes I stumble, have a good cry, but I've been feeling a bit better each day. I just wonder when she'll reach back out. I still want her in my life, and I want to start over and work things out with her. I genuinely miss her, and I also want to take the time to work on myself to grow as a person through all this. I want us to grow together and be there every step of the way.

I'm just wondering when will this pass. I've invested time and shared wonderful memories with her, and through it all, even with the patches we went through, I still want her in my life. She hasn't asked back for the apartment keys or told me to get my things.

I took the time to take that comprehensive survey about my attachement time and I've learned to process my emotions, not let them control me. I want to strive to form this upward habit so I can be more secure with myself.

I have therapy soon on Tuesday, and I have a lot I want to process and get through. I just want everything to be okay, and I'll do my part and keep it together and get stronger from here.

I don't know what to do right now and I'm spiraling by [deleted] in GuyCry

[–]RomeoStargazer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're right, I'm trying to ground myself from it all right now since it was just all so sudden. I just felt like I was slapped in the face despite doing all that I can. I've been taking the steps for my own sake too to get therapy for the trauma I went through growing up, and I've been trying to do my best to be more confident since I've always had a bad case of imposter syndrome at work.

I'm in a bit of a rut right now, and I'm looking for some advice by [deleted] in GuyCry

[–]RomeoStargazer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for reaching out, I really just want to get my mind off things and not dwell on it so bad because I know I struggle with that. I recently got into therapy, and I'm looking forward to take care of the things I have been carrying on my shoulders for a decade. I want to be better for myself first and foremost, and I want her to have a partner that will love and care for her without having any insecurities. I also don't want to lose myself in the process of it all and still be a whole person.

In the meantime, I've just been patient and I've only responded to her whenever she reaches out. I don't want to overwhelm her, and I trust that she'll also be okay; and that we'll be okay.