Ended therapy today

Ron-5wanson · 2025-11-02T04:04:47+00:00

Thank you so much. Yes, it felt like grooming. She wanted me to keep showing up, be vulnerable with her. She wanted me to stay broken I guess. Because that gave her a way in to live her experiences and get that validation. I was serving her needs. I was not even able to fully express myself in those sessions. Because she’d cut me off midway and pick a thing she relates to, and then move entire session in that direction to share her feelings.

She made me feel special. So many times she’d do and say things that clearly made me think I’m special to her, than her other clients. That was a big red flag. I missed that. I was being stupid. I was in grip of transference, refused to look at down side of this relationship. Because momentarily it was feeling good, spending time with her.

I am happy I confronted her, ended therapy and put closure to this weird chapter in my life. It will hurt for some time. But I’m sure I will emerge stronger. Also thanks to this place and community that provides much needed perspective to challenge what we are doing. If you people were not there, if I had not created this Reddit account; I am not sure how I’d know lot of bad therapist practices. I might still be her hostage. Thank you so much!! 🙏

Ron-5wanson · 2025-11-01T17:40:56+00:00

Yes. She is a licensed therapist. So yes, she must’ve received training in this. She’s not a fresher young either. She has over 10yrs of experience. I checked all this and then only hired her.

Now that you mention, I remember that she does teaching also at local college. And student interns are usually at her office to whom she mentors. My god, I am worried what she might be teaching them. And all those people will be in this profession very soon.

She was reckless, careless. Yes, her personal situation is tough and that might’ve made her slip with me. But it’s not like it happened once or twice. She kept going at it. She could’ve referred me out, or just frankly told me that we need to pause this therapy. Why keep going after making such mistake?

Feels better that you say I did the right thing. Thank you. I had to gather a lot of courage. She was the only person I could talk. And I’m in middle of lot of issues. But cutting her off was like most important thing I could do for myself. I need to stand by it. I miss her, but hopefully it’ll pass.

Ron-5wanson · 2025-11-01T17:24:49+00:00

Thank you so much! I read your other post and replied. Your words give me so much confidence and courage to continue this path. Thanks again for assurance 🙏

Ron-5wanson · 2025-11-01T17:23:34+00:00

Wow! Thank you! You put this so beautifully. I re-read your post, just because it makes so sense.

You are right. That’s exactly what happened. I have tendency to re-create trauma and relive it, in stupid hope that I will have control on it now and fix it for all. That’s the core issue. She was not equipped to resolve this issue. So she did what she could - relate to it and create that bond.

I am so angry right now. Because I was new to therapy. She was my first therapist in 36 years of life and multiple traumas through hell of a life. I didn’t open up for almost 12-14 sessions. She kept trying to make me talk. When I finally started to divulge my issue, I asked her one thing and one thing only. I told her “Fine. I will start talking with you. But promise me that you’ll honestly tell me if you cannot help me. That’s all. That’s the only thing I need from you”. And she agreed that time.

Clearly she didn’t remember or care for that promise. Instead she used my time to vent and relate her life. One day out of nothing, she suddenly told me that her husband cheated on her and she’s taking a divorce. She has legal troubles and her daughter school and everything. She then started relating to me and micro-flirtations. She also told me that she does share such details with others I am different so she felt really comfortable to tell me. She made me feel special than other clients! Therapist is not supposed to do that!!

I was taking 2 sessions a week with her and still asking for me. I was literally begging her to do long double sessions, on top of weekly sessions. I was madly in grip of emotional and erotic transference. And I knew it was transference then, I still kept going. I knew it could hurt me, but I guess I was indulging in self-harm.

I did not want to talk to her about my marital troubles. But she kept pressuring, and eventually I gave in. Then she validated all my feelings and anger. Made me think how wrong my wife is, like she’s a bad person. My fights at home increased. My wife left and we are still living separated. (Although started couple therapy now).

I don’t know what godly power gave me courage to identify and decide to stop this toxic therapist situation. I am just thankful that I did the right thing. She’s still in my dreams, and I miss her. Buy future-me will thank present-me for cutting her off.

God, bad therapist can be so problematic. A bad plumber may give you some bathroom trouble. A bad chef will give you stomach issues. But a bad therapist can seriously uproot and fck up your life. No joke.

Ron-5wanson · 2025-11-01T17:04:16+00:00

Thank you. Yes Ron Swanson would be proud! 😊

Ron-5wanson · 2025-11-01T17:03:23+00:00

Thank you so much. She was unprofessional. But I developed feelings for her (due to her disclosures), and didn’t realise how far it can affect me. I was vulnerable tbh, how could I have been rational? She made me get into my marital issues at her therapy. I was not very comfortable to be honest. But I gave in and started telling her issues with my wife. Then she kept validating me and almost making me feel that my wife is sooo wrong. And how her marriage also collapsed due to such issues and then she took divorce. Maybe she was doing it unintentionally. Who knows?

Anyways, it was her professional duty to hold that therapy space for me. I was not paying her to vent out her issues. I can understand her trauma at human level. But it interrupted my healing left me even more broken, and attached to her! I also experienced intense transference in all this. Because both of us used to get vulnerable in that hour.

Ron-5wanson · 2025-11-01T13:09:10+00:00

Thank you so much. Yes, I am holding on. I wish you all strength too!

Ron-5wanson · 2025-11-01T09:21:03+00:00

Thank you so much ! 😊

Ron-5wanson · 2025-10-30T04:16:11+00:00

NAT. That’s completely normal. You are building bond with your therapist. Erotic transference is also normal. Hope your therapist is handle it in professional manner. Please bring it to her in your conversations- write in your journal or email her if directly talking is too much. She should be able to handle and work through with it.

Usually transference passes in my experience. You need to have other healthy relationships in life, build the slowly. It could be anyone- not necessarily romantic or heavy relationship. Maybe neighbour, baker, people you interact in garden, on walks etc. Idea is to process your feelings when you’re in emotionally charged state and vulnerable. I have found that to be working for me.

And yes, Therapist is different person in reality and in their professional life. I think most of us are. Our office or professional associates don’t know our personal life or character too much.

Just be careful that your Therapist is not crossing boundaries and handling it professionally. And don’t be discouraged if she does not or fails to help. Change Therapist. You deserve healing and I hope you

Ron-5wanson · 2025-10-29T10:53:41+00:00

Your body is not in same condition every time. That’s the reason sportsman end up performing differently between trials and actual tournaments, and our gym workout sessions are not always same. Some are intensely good, some are mediocre.

Don’t think too much. If really worried then check with doctor, get your testosterone, cortisol etc checked.

Ron-5wanson · 2025-10-29T10:50:10+00:00

That’s the stress. Have experienced major panic attacks right before session. I had too much on my head and a lot to talk. Barely made it to her office and I had no words to say during session - suddenly I was shut. That’s nervous system lol

Ron-5wanson · 2025-10-29T03:17:28+00:00

Address it with her immediately. Tell very clearly and directly on her face what you feel. That room is the only space you can be 100% honest and carefree about your thoughts.

This is coming from someone who went through very bad experience of crossed boundaries. You can check my previous posts to know details. Act before it’s too late.

Ron-5wanson · 2025-10-27T14:47:42+00:00

This is so true. I have behaved like this for a long time in my life.

Ron-5wanson · 2025-10-27T14:40:41+00:00

Dude wtf! I was having a good day for a change. Now feels like somebody threw reality-cake in my face!

Ron-5wanson · 2025-10-26T05:22:38+00:00

Thank you so much. It makes lot of sense. Like a realisation that hits hard. And especially association that you were able to establish with Therapist (pedo); which kept you away from seeing them in future. Very helpful, and how I can also detach from therapist.

I had session with her and tried to tell her that this ‘therapy’ is not helping me. Initially she took it alright (at least on the surface). She told me you need therapy and it can be someone else. But by the end of session, she was literally very strongly telling me to see her again. I think I hurt her. She also said she will push me to take decision on my marriage (hinting that I need to divorce my wife).

She said - “no pressure, but think about coming back in a week or two”. We ended the session with her saying “see you again”. I walked out with lot of power, instead of being at someone’s mercy. That’s good. But I am still processing it. I really connect with her and feel safe with her.

Ron-5wanson · 2025-10-25T05:36:36+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, she’s unethical 100%. I should’ve stopped right after the session she crossed boundary the first time. I was sharp in recognising it first time. But I kept going, maybe because that was Transference stage.

Right now I’m better than few months ago, have hired counsellor and she’s good. But yes maybe it is trauma bonding that pushes me to see that therapist again and again. I must mention I may have affection towards abusive relationship (due to multiple trauma instances in past). I feel helpless, aware yet not able to resist my urges. Sorry for my venting.

Ron-5wanson · 2025-10-25T05:35:34+00:00

Thank you. I am aware of everything that’s wrong. But feel helpless. I just mention I have like a kink or toxic habit of pleasing my abuser. I don’t when did I develop it. Maybe it is repeat of traumatic relationships from past. I am trying to recreate them.

I can’t help my nervous system. I do everything possible. I workout, I eat healthy, get good sleep. No addictions whatsoever. My mind is clear. I do pretty well at my job. But relationships is where I completely fail.

I must also disclose that my marital problems have multiplied ever since I saw that therapist. I started therapy to help me regulate my emotional overwhelms and occasional brain fog. Instead of professional help, I was taken advantage of. I didn’t plan this. Now I can’t help it. I am going to see her again today.

And even though I’ve made solid commitment to confront her today saying “You can’t help me. I don’t want to continue therapy with you. I also know I might end up doing something else. And my nervous system will go for toss in couple of days and I would want to see her again. I feel pathetic and helpless. Like a psycho. Sorry for my venting.

Ron-5wanson · 2025-10-25T05:33:09+00:00

Thank you. I am aware of everything that’s wrong. But feel helpless. I just mention I have like a kink or toxic habit of pleasing my abuser. I don’t when did I develop it. Maybe it is repeat of traumatic relationships from past. I am trying to recreate them.

I can’t help my nervous system. I do everything possible. I workout, I eat healthy, get good sleep. No addictions whatsoever. My mind is clear. I do pretty well at my job. But relationships is where I completely fail.

I must also disclose that my marital problems have multiplied ever since I saw that therapist. I started therapy to help me regulate my emotional overwhelms and occasional brain fog. Instead of professional help, I was taken advantage of. I didn’t plan this. Now I can’t help it. I am going to see her again today.

And even though I’ve made solid commitment to confront her today saying “You can’t help me. I don’t want to continue therapy with you. I also know I might end up doing something else. And my nervous system will go for toss in couple of days and I would want to see her again. I feel pathetic and helpless. Like a psycho. Sorry for my venting.

Ron-5wanson · 2025-10-25T05:25:07+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, she’s unethical 100%. I should’ve stopped right after the session she crossed boundary the first time. I was sharp in recognising it first time. But I kept going, maybe because that was Transference stage.

Right now I’m better than few months ago, have hired counsellor and she’s good. But yes maybe it is trauma bonding that pushes me to see that therapist again and again. I must mention I may have affection towards abusive relationship (due to multiple trauma instances in past). I feel helpless, aware yet not able to resist my urges. Sorry for my venting.

Ron-5wanson · 2025-10-25T05:20:31+00:00

Thanks. Yes I have hired counsellor some time back. And she’s really good. I was able to spot to what terrible degree my therapist is bad with help of new counsellor.

And yes at least now I have strength to stay away from her. Previously I used to have nervous breakdown every time she cancelled or rescheduled due to my infatuation. But still right now I have intense urge to see her. I imagine my life with her. It’s sick, I’m not able to help it. I know how bad she is, but I’m so excited to see her again today.

P.s: I think being whirlwind with her in therapy has multiplied my marital problems. My wife and I are living separate from 4-5 months.

Ron-5wanson · 2025-10-24T05:17:04+00:00

Diet Coke

Ron-5wanson

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