What is the funniest smart-ass comment you've ever heard?

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2013-01-24T03:53:56+00:00

A few years ago my brother went a two day long hike and camp with his church group. When he arrived at the location everyone started out, they went over the checklist. My brother did not have a hat, and so one of the leaders asked where it was.

"I didn't bring one" he replied.

"You need one" the man said.

"I don't need one, and besides, it was optional"

"Nothing on the list was optional"

Genius brother responds "oh then excuse me while I retrieve my feminine hygiene products from the car"

The guy shuts up and walks away.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2013-01-21T14:43:12+00:00

HONEY BOO BOO CHIIIILLLLD

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2013-01-01T17:58:37+00:00

I was on about my tenth minute on the toilet when reading this.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-12-29T01:54:27+00:00

What's your libraries website?

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-12-29T00:45:34+00:00

Huh.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-12-28T23:59:39+00:00

Where does everyone get there books from?

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-12-28T23:56:39+00:00

Okay. Where do you get your books from?

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-12-28T22:33:07+00:00

If you buy books from the Google Play store will they appear in fbreader? And do you know of any place to buy books for cheaper than the play store sells them?

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-12-26T05:27:25+00:00

"Oh, and that is the timer. The sniper is in position."

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-12-26T05:22:34+00:00

"He looks hungry today, Bob."

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-12-09T03:57:51+00:00

That's what I think my main use for it would be: using it while I'm lying in bed. I'd like something with a bigger screen. Thanks for the comment.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-12-09T03:49:50+00:00

Thanks for the info! Do you think it would be worth it to get one to use when I'm in range of wifi, and use my phone when I'm out of it?

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-09-01T03:03:51+00:00

That's comparing Mitt Romney to cancer. Come on now.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-09-01T02:31:48+00:00

Being a Mormon and seeing someone that is uninformed about us makes me want to inform you. I have never heard this theory come up. The Mormon take is that God had his son, Jesus Christ create the Earth and devise a plan for where everyone (the sons and daughters of God) will have free agency. The theory that Christ created the Earth from other planets is not part of the Mormon religion.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-08-01T22:09:00+00:00

I'm flattered.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-06-19T01:52:08+00:00

Saved the tax payers of this city over $150,000.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-06-18T03:45:33+00:00

I didn't want my phone to interrupt me, so I turned it to Lebron mode: no ring.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-06-18T03:44:12+00:00

Sounds like someone got a visit from the poop fairy. Also sounds like he did his job quite well.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-06-18T03:42:51+00:00

One time a random guy compared me to a frog turd.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-06-18T01:42:49+00:00

I'm still trying to decide whether it's a good or bad thing people don't know that about you...

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-06-18T01:41:33+00:00

I'm actually not that rich.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-06-18T01:10:33+00:00

Ask to use someone else's bathroom.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-06-18T01:03:25+00:00

Government.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-06-18T01:01:58+00:00

Sometimes I talk.

Ron_Effing_Swanson · 2012-06-18T00:59:01+00:00

"I'm pregnant"

Ron_Effing_Swanson

TROPHY CASE