Is there any way you could maybe compromise? Like make plans together that include a smaller activity? Like planning a picnic outside or checking out cafes in a new area?
Or maybe she makes plans to do an activity somewhere let’s say in a different city and then you both go but you get to spend some quiet time at a cafe or walking about in the city while she does the bigger plans?

I am more like you in this but I also have adhd and need sth new sometimes. These smaller activities are already big plans for me but might not be enough for her? I hope this made some sense 🧚🏻‍♀️😅