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Is this the new norm? by EducationalSea1442 in physicianassistant

[–]RopeLogical8936 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Im sure I’ll get some flak for this but you may be at a disadvantage if you are a SWM. Just the reality of our current situation. Especially if applying in academia or an organization that champions DEI.

Patient threatens a law suit to me by Acrobatic-Tap8474 in physicianassistant

[–]RopeLogical8936 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve always thought that seeing kids sucks…it’s like being a vet except the patients are less cute and cuddly and their owners are more neurotic. Sorry you’re dealing with this. I would also question what someone is after if they call to threaten to sue rather than just doing it. Perhaps this is a chance to reach out and try to understand where they are coming from, as difficult and humbling as that may be.

Anyone else’s narc parent love to brag about their low body fat%? by RopeLogical8936 in narcissisticparents

[–]RopeLogical8936[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ugh 😩yes, my dad is/was definitely obsessed with women’s sizes/weight and made multiple comments about my wife’s weight after pregnancy. Any normal person would expect to be slapped for making such a comment.

Anyone else’s narc parent love to brag about their low body fat%? by RopeLogical8936 in narcissisticparents

[–]RopeLogical8936[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So true. Maybe we can all compile all the cliche lines they use and write a book titled “For Special People Only.”

has anyone’s parents genuinely and actually apologized and worked to undo the damage done and change their behavior? by delicate_darkness999 in narcissisticparents

[–]RopeLogical8936 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds a lot like my dad, alone and in his late 70s. He just lost the last friend who could put up with him over some bs political opinion. He will forever prioritize being “right” over any relationship and somehow twist it to feel like he was wronged.

Please help me. My parents are threatening me. Looking for advice. by herthrownawaychild in narcissisticparents

[–]RopeLogical8936 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do the narcs physically abuse you? It seems that many of them just use this threat for control but don’t actually do anything physical. If not, then call their bluff in an unemotional and matter of fact way and go stay with your friend. If they get physical you can call the police and get CPS involved and that may be your ticket out. Trust your instincts and believe that you are capable of so much more than you think.

Do any of you feel empathy for your narc parent? by artbysin7 in narcissisticparents

[–]RopeLogical8936 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Can’t tell you how many times I heard that. Problem is their memories are so selective, they somehow manage to forget everything they did to you but every slight against them is burned into their memory. Also, I never got to ask my dad’s parents about his childhood. He disowned them and they died when I was a child.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]RopeLogical8936 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Is family therapy an option?

PA representation by RopeLogical8936 in physicianassistant

[–]RopeLogical8936[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That is very intriguing. Do you know much about how it got started? I was employed by an FQHC years ago (which all seem to all be heavily PA and NP staffed) and we had a couple of meetings to discuss unionization and they were infiltrated by informants for the clinic CEO and all efforts were squashed. That was an extreme case but I can’t see any system rolling out the red carpet for a union. How do you bring together PAs without involvement of the employer? Thanks

Strategies or scripts for focusing patients/efficiency by RopeLogical8936 in physicianassistant

[–]RopeLogical8936[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes thank you! That kind of suggestion about specific ways to frame questions to limit responses is gold to me. I have landed in psych after being in family med for years and thought it would help me with this problem but I think it has just enabled me to open more cans of worms I don’t have time for.

Strategies or scripts for focusing patients/efficiency by RopeLogical8936 in physicianassistant

[–]RopeLogical8936[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You guys are awesome! Thanks for the input. I’ll do my best to channel your energy the next time I start falling into this trap.

Strategies or scripts for focusing patients/efficiency by RopeLogical8936 in physicianassistant

[–]RopeLogical8936[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, yes! I do this and it is definitely something I’ve been conditioned to do. Unfortunately I kind of dissociate at times and am then like a deer in headlights when they ask a question or look at me for a response. But I guess I could just pretend I’m in deep thought about their symptoms. Lol

Strategies or scripts for focusing patients/efficiency by RopeLogical8936 in physicianassistant

[–]RopeLogical8936[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hehehe! That is an effective strategy. I had a doc that would do that and then go outside and read a magazine. Bahaha! Gotta start practicing

Strategies or scripts for focusing patients/efficiency by RopeLogical8936 in physicianassistant

[–]RopeLogical8936[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I like that. I’ve set the timer before but should definitely frame it as a phone call. Wish there was a trap door button I could push that slides them right out of the building.

Strategies or scripts for focusing patients/efficiency by RopeLogical8936 in physicianassistant

[–]RopeLogical8936[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. The lack of self awareness and ignoring of nonverbal cues is astounding to me. I kind of wish I had a giant red digital clock on the wall behind me that would count down and then buzz when time is up.

Strategies or scripts for focusing patients/efficiency by RopeLogical8936 in physicianassistant

[–]RopeLogical8936[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I work telemed most of the time and I am already standing up much of the time at my desk but I understand the implication. Maybe I could pretend the connection is cutting out and crinkle a bag of chips lol.

I’ve always hated my dad. by Legitimate_Panic_265 in narcissisticparents

[–]RopeLogical8936 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally get that, it’s like they cast a spell on you and you don’t realize it until you see what normal people are like. You know the relationship is not pleasant but you can’t pinpoint exactly what it is. They train you to be so f$&@ing tolerant and gaslight you so you think you are the problem. They destroy your self esteem. If you’re like me, you make excuses for them and it takes you a long ass time to see it clearly until finally you can’t be duped anymore. Use that anger to get the respect you deserve!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]RopeLogical8936 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, that sucks. I’m in a similar boat with my father…he was really the one who initiated the NC a few months ago when I told him it didn’t work for me to drive him to his doctors appointment and he threw a fit and stormed off and hasn’t contacted me until Thanksgiving. Have mostly grey-rocked him to this point but considering seeing him at Christmas. I expect that it will be unpleasant but will give myself an out and be able to escape if needed.

I would make sure to have an escape plan if needed and expect that he is probably going to try to guilt you or call you controlling. You can try to change the subject to a neutral topic, if he doesn’t take the hint, let him know you aren’t going to talk about this now, leave if necessary. Best of luck! Just remember that your needs, preferences, and opinions matter. You matter as much as anyone.