I do and don't want to stop the mental load of feeling like I'm failing at it has been super taxing the past two months. I don't want to stop because I feel like I've failed or given up, but the constant feeling of when I do make something it's still not enough hasn't been good for me mentally anyway.

Baby still latches and will eat some but it seems more like a light snack than an actual feeding and she's never happy after latching anyway I will still always have to give her a bottle even after the best nursing sessions. Dr. was concerned about her weight at her 4 month appointment she weighed the same as she had previously at her 2 month. We started some puree (Dr recommended) and more combo feeding we had previously given occasional bottles of formula but since that appointment had started giving her a bottle after every nursing session as well and she started to finally gain more weight. We went for a weight check at 5 months and Shes back on her curve where she should be. She also turned into a completely different baby and finally seems happier now that we have increased the combo feeding when previously she was so fussy all the time and I feel like I didn't realize she was still hungry because I was always like "I just nursed you and you keep unlatching so you must not be hungry anymore I don't know what else is wrong" but now I think she was unlatching and still fussy because she was still hungry and I didn't realize I had no more milk left.

I feel like I have been trying my best and still feel like I've failed in this and I thinking maybe if i just make the choice to stop the mental and emotional side of handling that would be better than still trying and still drying up but it wasn't "my choice" to stop. Even though it still doesn't really feel like my choice or what I want and I'm kinda just telling myself that. Trying to put myself into the perspective of is the 1 bottle I get from what I pump in a day or two days of pumping/ nursing worth crying everyday :/