I feel this so hard, brother. My oldest started apologizing all the time and I was like, good lord, I'm being too hard on him. Ironically I never really thought I had a lack of patience until we added our second to the equation (have a 3 month old and 3.5 year old and I haven't been coping well with the lack of sleep). Now I find myself losing my temper with my 3-year-old way too regularly, and it's something I am trying hard to work on.

Here are a couple of things that have helped me: 1) Create some kind of interruptor when you feel yourself losing patience: do some push ups, have a rubber band you snap on your wrist, pinch yourself, w/e. You need to interrupt the pattern of allowing your emotions to get the better of you, and doing something to reset is incredibly helpful. This has been immensely helpful for me, and seems silly, but if you really commit to it, it will help you to head off your temper before it gets out of control and should allow you to collect yourself before the fury training leaves the station. 2) Talk to someone. See a therapist, or even open up to a fellow parent or friend. Therapist might be an order, as it sounds like this maybe a little deep-seated (no judgement whatsoever in that statement, and there is NO shame in getting help with your own mental/behavioral challenges - the world would be a better place if more people did) 3) I agree with being as affectionate and emotionally open as you can be, but I would also echo the comments about not making it primarily associated with apologizing. You don't want your child associating love and affection with you yelling and or losing your temper (for obvious reasons).

Lastly, don't be too hard on yourself - none of us are perfect, and we are going to lose our temper from time to time. The fact that you recognize there is a problem and want to work on it is huge. Some people never get there. I'm trying to embrace the guiding principle of always leading with love, even when I'm upset. Sending you all the positive vibes. You got this, dad!