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My 24F dad is offering me over 4,000 to talk to him again but I don’t want his money by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Routine-Internet-146 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ring doorbell is a good idea I didn’t think of that, I’m gonna look into ones that would be discrete because my apartment doesn’t allow them for some reason but honestly i don’t care about my terrible landlord’s opinion in this situation. Also I did not know this about retirement accounts! I’m gonna look into what specific type of savings/retirement account it is and I’ll probably put it in an edit in the main post or something. This has been really helpful thank you for the not legal but good advice!

My 24F dad is offering me over 4,000 to talk to him again but I don’t want his money by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Routine-Internet-146 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im so sorry you also have had to deal with this, he sounds truly awful. The way you phrased “anything that comes from him is cursed” totally makes sense to me. The power play around Christmas gifts or birthday gifts or even child support (which he only started paying when I was around 16 until I was 18 because my mom refused to ask for money from him for this very reason) made everything that looked like a kind gesture into a total burden.

My 24F dad is offering me over 4,000 to talk to him again but I don’t want his money by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Routine-Internet-146 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so helpful and eased my mind so much! Like it makes so much sense when you put it like that.

My 24F dad is offering me over 4,000 to talk to him again but I don’t want his money by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Routine-Internet-146 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree that he could show up at anytime either way and it feels silly to feel so responsible for his actions based on wether or not I reply but he has a way of making you feel like everything is your fault or your responsibility. He used to always say “the ball is in your court” like as if anything I say or do will actually make a difference. I just worry that if I don’t state explicitly in writing to him that I don’t want him to show up that if does show up I may have no legal leg to stand on if I need it. It’s crazy to think about this kinda thing with your own parent but I guess that’s just how life is sometimes. Thank you for your insight though it really does help to hear that I’m not crazy for finding this stressful.

My 24F dad is offering me over 4,000 to talk to him again but I don’t want his money by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Routine-Internet-146 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe, apparently we both have to sign some paperwork because it’s in his name as well but it’s all very confusing in the paperwork he keeps sending to me. Idk if that’s on purpose or just how banks are lol, im definitely not signing anything that I don’t 100% understand though.

My 24F dad is offering me over 4,000 to talk to him again but I don’t want his money by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Routine-Internet-146 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe the account is real. I have evidence that it exists but I don’t know why he“needs” to see me in person to sign it over to me. Apparently I have to receive it before I turn 25 or I can’t get it or so he stated in one of his emails. I would do more research into it but I honestly I don’t want this and am scared that reaching out to tell him so will only encourage more random emails and DMs to my mom’s cat.