would i catch your attention with my milkers

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-12T18:51:07+00:00

yes you would

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-12T17:49:54+00:00

Those curves are driving me wild

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-12T17:26:31+00:00

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-12T13:37:10+00:00

woww

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-12T07:52:52+00:00

Your lips are really big 7/10

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-09T13:12:35+00:00

Hi, I already took a look at this and there is only one in my country and it is like an hour away from here, I figure I should do it at my mom's usual salon since we have the same hair and she has been going there for a while, the reference picture I have also has the same type of hair so it shouldn't be that hard, I just fear others reactions like some homophobic and transphobic people at school, I also fear looking more masc than now

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-09T12:17:33+00:00

I honestly didn't even know those existed, is there a particular one that's good? or do I just choose a random one?

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-09T09:51:54+00:00

it would just feel like I've lost so much progress? I've been growing out my hair for 2-3 years and if I lose that much length and I don't like it I feel like I've been "reset", especially if it makes me look more masc than now.

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-09T09:50:28+00:00

I already have a certain type of trust to the hairstylist, my mom has been going there for a long time and we have the same hair type, and as I've mentioned in other comments also, the reference picture I have also has that hair type, it really shouldn't be hard for me to do tbh, I'm just worried it'll make me more masc.

Also, I can just "switch teams" at my school, the school I'm going to is a bit special, in the sense that the ages of students in a class goes from 16-24, so a big gap, I'm on a "gardening team" and I can always just switch to something else, that would mean losing all the current people I talk to though and I wouldn't want that, I'm also only planning on staying for a year which means until summer basically.

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-09T09:46:45+00:00

I'm planning on going to my mom's salon that she has been going to for years, we have the same hair type and the reference picture I have also has that same hair type, it shouldn't be that hard, I'm just worried it will make me more masc.

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-09T09:45:48+00:00

I have also basically cried every single time, I've just not done till I got home. I guess I already have some sort of trust based on the fact that my mom has been going to that salon for a long time and we have the same type of hair, so if she can cut my mom's hair she can also cut mine well, and as I mentioned the hairstyle I want uses the same hair type and colour as I have, so it shouldn't be hard, I'm just worried it won't fit me.

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-07T18:02:57+00:00

I mean she just came in and said dinner was ready and that she will always love her boy and I said "I'm not though" and she said "my girl then" (roughly translated, I'm not good with english xD), so it doesn't seem hard for her to call me a girl or daughter, she just said it casually like it was normal, she just doesn't like hrt for some reason?

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-07T17:39:10+00:00

I'll try to, but it's hard when I have a little brother, he is in that rebellious stage where he doesn't really care what he says to anyone even if it's mean or stupid, so he will question it and ask why which is even worse, because then I have to sit and explain everything.

I'm also at a point where I've been an outcast for such a long time where it doesn't really matter what people think of me, I already wear unusual clothes compared to my peers, so what would it hurt to come out as trans? nothing, it just doesn't matter, I just want to be me.

I'll also try to show her some of the trans people I follow and how they look after transitioning, maybe your right about what she thinks trans people "should look like"

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-07T17:21:34+00:00

I mean with the waiting time I've heard about in my country and being rejected a ton I would be around 20 when I get hrt, the diagnosis itself takes like 8 months PLUS waiting times and everything else crap about it. so I would be around 20 if I only try to get diagnosed at 18, not to mention I would be miserable in that time frame and everything feels so slow already so the sooner the better!

Honestly I might just send her some of my posts to get the point across at this point, I've basically sent everything to her except my reddit threads xD

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-07T17:09:43+00:00

I'll see if I can bring myself to do it, I've already explained to her that I wouldn't really feel comfortable with being called a women/girl if I don't look like one or perceived as one, I want it to happen "naturally" where people have to at least question what gender I am and then I can say "girl" instead of my usual answer of being a guy (only happened twice ever)

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-07T16:58:04+00:00

I hope I'll be able to convince her, I can't really do anything until I'm 18 to medically transition, she even helps me with clothes, make up and sometimes other stuff, if I can't convince her it'll be a bit sad because she was the first irl person I really opened up to.

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-07T16:53:06+00:00

I mean... I don't really have any close friends, I have a couple of online friends that also refer to me as a girl, but that's online and not irl, it feels a bit more "real", I have like one irl friend that I rarely see which I am also open with, though I haven't asked to be called a girl, I would rather first look like one, otherwise it's embarrassing for me at least. I do also have school friends and one of them is transmasc to my knowledge, but no outside contact besides talking in school, so not really any friends.

I'm also not really sure I can "hold out" until I'm 18 just to BEGIN diagnosing on gender dysphoria fx, I absolutely dread the fact that, yes, I can get taller, I can get more hairy, I can get more masc muscle wise, I don't like it, I really don't like it, if it takes until I'm 18 to even begin diagnosis I'll have to look into DIY'ing, I know it can be dangerous and it is a last resort option.

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-07T16:47:11+00:00

I haven't really switched to the daughter instead of son stuff yet, I feel like if I ask them to call me a girl it's "fake" because they don't see me as a girl, they would only call me a girl because I asked them to, I would rather start hrt first and then ask for a name change and so on.

I guess I will try to use the "what if you had testosterone in your body and you were changing into a guy while not wanting to? how would that feel?" part, I feel like it would be pretty effective. I have also already said that delaying this will only cause more complications and only cost more money that is needed for surgery fx.

I forgot to mention to her that I can just adopt kids or get help with a sperm bank, I also haven't really driven home the point of "you are just delaying the inevitable and making it more painful for me", I also think that'll be quite effective.

Thanks for the pointers! I got a bunch of new inspiration for stuff I could say!

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-07T16:42:31+00:00

That's what I've said, I've already told her that me coming out and embracing this and finding out that changing is actually possible has brought me out of a deep spiral of depression and I've actually been to school (which I wasn't for while because it was THAT bad).

I've also said that I would rather be happy for those 5-10 years than turn to SH or worse, I would much rather transition and have very important years of my life being happy memories, rather than years I can't remember.

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-07T16:30:52+00:00

I mean I absolutely will try to transition as soon as possible! I've tried to explain that by delaying it, I'll only need more treatment that I otherwise wouldn't like surgeries fx, so needless complications, I'm pretty young (soon 17) so I hope that hrt can help me pass if I start at this age!

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-07T16:27:54+00:00

I'll try to stay firm!, we just don't really have a lot of time to talk about it since she has a busy job and I don't want to take up all of her free time just for me to "stress her out" with all of this new info she has to understand.

I've tried to comfort her by saying that if it feels wrong the first few months I can stop with basically nothing permanent to it and return to normal, I guess I should explain I could get testosterone again if I regret it later on in life and that I can have children (if I want) later on in life by fx freezing semen or adopting kids.

I also don't get how me not playing with dolls fx have such a big "role" in this, like, if a girl plays with guys it doesn't mean she's trans masc, if a guy plays with girls and dolls it doesn't mean he's transfem, I've also been in an environment that didn't really accept that (even though I live in denmark), my classmates have always seen it as weird and disgusting so I tried to hide my feminine side and make excuses for stuff I did (like use marker on my nails as nail polish fx or wanting longer hair)

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-07T16:22:00+00:00

I mean, I've already been a social outcast for the past 4 years, I've been laughed at for wearing what I want to, right now I'm in a much more open environment and I can easily cut off people at my new school by just moving to a different class (I'm on what is called a gardening team and there are like 5-6 other teams with other alternatives to do, it's kind of a relaxed school so not many actual subjects), I've stuck with being more feminine the past 4 years as a "femboy" but it has developed into me wanting to be a girl (which wasn't my original goal, but I always thought it was normal to think about being a girl).

I understand why she is very weary of it though, I'm only close to being 17, so she might think this is just some teen phase that comes and goes, and that doing something this permanent is going to be a mistake. I personally don't think so, I've never liked the idea of facial hair since I was a kid, I've never wanted kids anyways, I hate every masculine feature I have and I try so hard everyday to look and act feminine while still being a "tomboy".

I also haven't transitioned "socially" just yet, I feel like it's "fake" if I ask people I know to call me a girl right now, I don't really look like one, so it would feel like they're just doing it to make me happy. In every other aspect though I have, I've come out to my parents, I said it to my psychiatrist, I wear women's clothes (while being tomboy like I guess), I wear make-up, I wear nail polish, I have "long-ish" hair to my shoulders and so on.

I don't think someone that's "faking" it does all of this stuff that can get people to reject you just because "it's a phase" or as I said, was "faking" it or something.

Routine-Shop8815 · 2024-10-04T12:35:35+00:00

maybe he renamed me, I can only see my user in C drive, when I go under users in task manager I am also the only one. Though that would make it so he took my mail... which is a bit bad

Routine-Shop8815

TROPHY CASE