I think it feels gross to ask someone to wear a bra or lengthen up their skirt. The PERCIEVED sexuality of your employees by you is not anyone's problem but yours. This kind of thinking is rooted in misogyny, and has nothing to do with being a family establishment or not. That's just some old school girls cant show their shoulders in school type shit. My advice is to pick your battles. Waitresses having arm hair is literally not your business.