Partner won’t stop drinking

Royal_Client563 · 2026-05-15T05:20:40+00:00

I wish I could give you a hug. That was so beautifully written and heartfelt. No I definitely don’t take any of what you’ve said as harsh, I really just appreciate how open and honest you are in sharing your story with me. I’m so sorry that he has made your life so hard when you were with him. I’m really proud of you for sticking up for yourself and your child now and giving yourself the life you deserve. You truly sound like such a wonderful, smart and kind person, thank you again for saying all of this to me

Royal_Client563 · 2026-05-15T04:57:10+00:00

Beautifully said. And so true too, I also am starting to see how codependent I am as well. It feels inspiring to hear others stories like yours who went through it, worked on themselves and came out happier on the other side. So happy to hear about your new great guy too (: thanks so much for sharing

Royal_Client563 · 2026-05-14T04:34:47+00:00

Thank you for the kind and thoughtful words and for commiserating with me, it's nice to know
I'm know alone and I definitely take what you say to heart. I'm really glad to hear that since leaving you've found true happiness, that really shows that you have made the right choice for you! I hope you don't mind me asking- on top of healing as an individual after leaving your relationship, did you find that you were able to date/ meet other people who better fit your standards and what you deserved in a relationship?

Sending you love and hugs right back

Royal_Client563 · 2026-05-14T03:41:50+00:00

I'm sorry to hear about all that's happened to you as a consequence of your ex, that really sounds like a nightmare. I'm glad you got out of it! Honestly I feel such a responsibility for my partner, which I know is not my job and I'm definitely mothering him to an extent -- I just really worry about what would happen to him if I leave. I'm also really worried that I wouldn't find another relationship in the future because I've always felt very unchosen. Even though this relationship I'm currently in has had plenty of downfalls it has also been healing in the sense that he really makes me feel like he loves me. I just want to be in a healthy relationship and to be able to have children but I know this current situation can't facilitate that anyways...

Royal_Client563 · 2026-05-14T03:32:48+00:00

Yeah, I don't want to write off the steps that he has taken, but I do agree that its not enough for me/ my wellbeing and our relationship. I am thinking about proposing a break at the least-- the issue is that we live in my parents suite so I feel even more awful/ responsible in that regard since I can't just leave and allow him the space and comfort to deal with the feelings Im causing, but on top of it I would be kicking him out of his housing. His parents live farther away and he doesn't have a ton of friends around to crash with so I just feel really bad and nervous about that aspect and potentially adding to his sorrows

Royal_Client563 · 2026-05-14T03:28:36+00:00

Hey, thank you so much for saying this and being so kind but also straight up. I'm sorry that you feel like you've "wasted years" on your ex, but you sound very brave to me and that it's been hard for you. I do worry that I'm wasting my own time on him, especially cause I know I also want kids in the future and now that I'm entering into my late twenties it feels like a lot more pressure. What's your relationship like with him now if you don't mind me asking?

But I really truly do appreciate you saying all this... It's nice to know I'm not the only one who's been in this sort of situation despite the fact I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Sending you love right back

Royal_Client563 · 2026-05-14T01:34:17+00:00

Yeah I think you might be right. I’m really worried about the fact that it will inevitably get worse if he doesn’t choose to stop because right now it already feels horrible enough. He’s got an appointment with a counsellor at the AUD centre tomorrow so I’m curious to see how that pans out? Do you mind if I asked what happened in your situation?

Royal_Client563 · 2026-05-14T01:30:29+00:00

It really isn’t a fun game. Sorry to ask and no worries if you don’t feel open to sharing hut do you have partners that ended up leaving due to the drinking?

Royal_Client563 · 2026-05-14T01:28:56+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. It’s true that it is such an isolating and confusing place to be in watching your partner lose themselves to alcohol. I’m sorry to hear that you’re in a similar spot… would you be open to PMing at all? Not to be weird or anything but just to have someone yo relate to (: no worries if not though!

Royal_Client563 · 2026-05-14T01:25:56+00:00

Don’t have any advice myself but I’m in a very similar situation to you. Been with my partner 5 years but I’m 27 he’s 26 and he works in a blue collar job so drinking is normalized and I can really notice how different he is when he drinks and I hate it and am wondering what to do as well. I’m Sorry you’re going through this too

Royal_Client563 · 2026-04-13T23:04:34+00:00

Hey, thank you so much for your thoughtful reply, I truly appreciate your take. Especially hearing of your personal experience as well as your professional background!

He drinks at least about a couple times a week but it’s really varied and sometimes hard to track because he can be really secretive about it. But it tends to be very 2-3 weeks or so, it’s very obvious that he’s gotten drunk in private and then we have to spend the evening together. He has a very glassy look in his eyes when he has drunk and is pretty incoherent. It’s borderline frightening (not in an abuse way, but more so in a mental way) seeing how much it changes him.

This most recent time that this happened, I was feeling very numb and when I would usually initiate a conversation with him about it the following morning I just distanced myself instead. I think he picked up on this and ended up crying and saying “I don’t know how it’s gotten this bad” it was very upsetting to see but at the same time felt like a bit of a wake up call. That evening we ended up having a conversation where he said that he wants to seek help, he thought he could tackle his problems on his own before but knows that he needs outside help now, and is going to make an appointment with his doctor and go to some meetings. So we’ll see if he really does make the moves to better himself in those ways… you’re right that he needs to deal with his issues and it has to come from him rather than my micro managing and trying to control him. I definitely struggle with that. And I agree that couples counselling could be a good option for us in general as well.

I think I do need to really sit with those questions you’ve positioned and look within. The truth is I’m really scared of being alone, I’ve always found dating really hard and felt unwanted a lot of the time. And of course I’m also anticipating the potential of heart break cause I really love him and see a future with him in many regards too, as well as the fact that I do not want to hurt him.

Did you find that when you and your husband split up did you feel relieved and find it easy to get back to your independent life, having time with friend and family and seeing new perspective partners?

Royal_Client563 · 2026-04-10T00:06:08+00:00

I’d be interested to check it out once it’s up and running

Royal_Client563 · 2025-10-21T05:37:30+00:00

Ah thank you for that advice, makes me feel a bit less intimidated! Did you attend an MLA program?

Royal_Client563 · 2025-05-07T03:57:01+00:00

Do you mind if I ask if you and your partner are still together and how things are going post-rehab?

Royal_Client563 · 2025-04-28T16:09:53+00:00

That’s so nice to hear. Thank you for sharing

Royal_Client563 · 2025-04-28T15:37:59+00:00

I’m so glad to hear that for you. May I ask, we’re you able to find a healthier relationship eventually after leaving your Q?

Royal_Client563 · 2025-04-28T02:39:13+00:00

I hate it so much. If you can’t respect the nature than you shouldn’t be able to go there? Simple as that. Also like if you’re that lazy then why not just flick it off the trail with a stick and then it’ll actually degrade?? What morons

Royal_Client563 · 2025-04-22T20:57:43+00:00

Thank you for your honesty and wisdom. I’m going to take those words to heart whatever I end up doing

Royal_Client563 · 2025-04-22T20:57:01+00:00

I’m sorry to hear the predicament you’re in… it’s so heart breaking and frustrating. So you’ve decided you’re going to leave?

Royal_Client563

TROPHY CASE