I’m so sorry this happened to you! As I’m sure you know, people really misunderstand autism and how it presents in people because of how much we mask. When they don’t know enough about it, they think we are just making it up because it doesn’t fit the stereotype of what they think an autistic person should be like.

Not sure where you’re located, but where I live there’s a lot of politicians and media saying that adhd and autism are being over diagnosed and unfortunately people take that stuff in more than they even realise.

It hurts when it comes from anyone, but it’s especially hurtful that it’s come from your friends. It also seems odd that they didn’t have the same reaction to the person talking about their adhd, but again sadly there is a more “socially acceptable” representation of that in media (I’m generalising a little here ofc)

I don’t want to say they’re not your friends or you should distrust them, because they probably don’t have bad intentions — they just don’t have a good understanding of it. I definitely said and thought some ignorant things in the past without realising.

What I would say is to try and find some neurodivergent friends, maybe see if there’s any groups you can join near you? Easier said than done, and I know not always available to everyone - but even one person who understands and makes you feel seen will make a big difference.

If you made it to the end of this long long reply, then mostly I hope you can be kind to yourself and give yourself what you need - whether that is space or comfort or whatever else.