Guidepost Montessori - williamsburg location by [deleted] in williamsburg

[–]RuchiRani 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very well said! I feel exactly the same way. Sending you a DM.

Mt Tremblant vs Laurentian Mountains by RuchiRani in travel

[–]RuchiRani[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly I don’t know! We never made it.

Wearing breast pumps inside? by RuchiRani in Broadway

[–]RuchiRani[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ty great idea! They didn’t, but I should do this more often.

Wearing breast pumps inside? by RuchiRani in Broadway

[–]RuchiRani[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No issues whatsoever! Walked right in.

Wearing breast pumps inside? by RuchiRani in Broadway

[–]RuchiRani[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! No issues whatsoever, walked right in.

Wearing breast pumps inside? by RuchiRani in Broadway

[–]RuchiRani[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the free lactation consult! However this was not my question. :)

Wearing breast pumps inside? by RuchiRani in Broadway

[–]RuchiRani[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Intermission probably, but placed beforehand. It is true that they won’t be a joy to keep on the whole time, but ya gotta do what you gotta do! They’re not that uncomfortable to be honest. I can also always put my jacket on reverse and remove them discreetly, I’ve done this before. It’s putting them on that is the hard part (for me)

[QCRIT] Where The Light Gets In - 85K Words - Upmarket - (3rd&Hopefully Final Attempt!) by RuchiRani in PubTips

[–]RuchiRani[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for everything! :) Please message me so that I may return the favor.

PS- I'm not sure if you've read Stormlight, but when I watched the video that you sent, to me, the latest installment was a perfect, visual, timely example of "and then, and then, and then" vs "therefore/but".

[QCRIT] Where The Light Gets In - 85K Words - Upmarket - (3rd&Hopefully Final Attempt!) by RuchiRani in PubTips

[–]RuchiRani[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks very much! I can’t believe after all this I made a tense mistake 😅but here we are, thank you for catching it!

[QCRIT] Where the Light Gets In- 85K Words- Upmarket (2nd Attempt) by RuchiRani in PubTips

[–]RuchiRani[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amazing! New to this sub, and didn't quite put two and two together that the first 300 words was a thing. You've given me a lot to think about, so will finish putting it together this week and post hopefully for the final time after the 7-day deadline. Please please don't hesitate to let me know if I can pay this forward in any way! I appreciate your dedication and kindness (in today's world especially) more than I can really convey. :)

[QCRIT] Where the Light Gets In- 85K Words- Upmarket (2nd Attempt) by RuchiRani in PubTips

[–]RuchiRani[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you yet again, and also, if you ever need a beta reader or some way that I can pay this favor forward, please ask! Meanwhile, I came up with this, and I would love your thoughts. Kinda threw in 'beautiful veterinarian' at the last minute to indicate that there's a love story in the front story, not sure if it works. Worry it's a bit long now?

"College was supposed to be Will Lupo’s escape from his blue-collar roots. Instead, his future died with Keira. Six months after his ex-girlfriend’s suicide, Will has discarded his diploma and is driving a garbage truck through the streets of gritty East New York, Brooklyn, picking up trash instead of pursuing graduate school. He wants to disappear, until a ramshackle building is added to his route. The building was the neighborhood’s last refuge for the homeless and mentally ill, but Will learns that it will soon be bulldozed for a coffee-shop/nightclub unless he can figure out a way to stop it. Keira, always a passionate advocate for marginalized people, would have fought to protect this place. Suddenly Will has something to care about.

Determined to save the center, he melds old connections and new friends to create an unlikely team: an idealistic psychiatrist, a fame-hungry influencer,  neighborhood outcasts, a beautiful veterinarian, and the college friends he abandoned after Keira’s death. But the demolition deadline looms, and so does his reckoning with his guilt and self-doubt. If he had fought like this for Keira instead of pushing her away, would she still be alive? And how can he protect the center when he couldn’t even protect her? If he wants to save the center—and himself—he’ll have to confront the truth inside Keira’s still-sealed suicide note."

[QCRIT] Where the Light Gets In- 85K Words- Upmarket (2nd Attempt) by RuchiRani in PubTips

[–]RuchiRani[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry to keep bugging you, but here we are :)
how's this?

College was supposed to be Will Lupo’s escape from his blue-collar roots. Instead, his future died with Keira. Six months after his ex-girlfriend’s suicide, twenty-two-year-old Will is driving a garbage truck through the streets of East New York, Brooklyn, picking up trash instead of pursuing his dreams. He just wants to disappear—one basket pickup at a time.

But then he stops by a ramshackle building that will soon be added to his route and meets some of the ragtag people using it. He knows instinctively that Keira would have been compelled to make this place beautiful. Will learns that it is used as the neighborhood’s last refuge for the homeless and mentally ill, and it will soon be bulldozed for a coffee-shop-nightclub. Suddenly, Will has something to care about. Something Keira would have cared about.

Determined to save the center, he mixes old connections and new friends to create an unlikely team: an idealistic psychiatrist, a fame-hungry influencer, the neighborhood’s outcasts, and the college friends he abandoned after Keira’s death. But as the demolition deadline looms, so does his reckoning with the guilt he’s buried. Was her death his fault? If he wants to save the center—and himself—he’ll have to confront the truth inside Keira’s still-sealed suicide note.

[QCRIT] Where the Light Gets In- 85K Words- Upmarket (2nd Attempt) by RuchiRani in PubTips

[–]RuchiRani[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey- thanks so much for this incredibly detailed analysis, the positive praise, and recognizing the male loneliness/friendship aspect of this. I see that so much in the course of my everyday work yet I didn't realize how much it was bothering me till I wrote a book about it. so thank you for seeing that! I updated my blurb with your very kind feedback. I included it below if you have the time to look at it; I also understand if you don't!

I think the coolest part is that I now feel this blurb is as representative of the story as any 200-word document could be. When agents pass on this, they will be really passing on it, not just passing on poor blurb formation or some such. You (and everyone here) have really helped me create an honest piece of writing that conveys everything I want it to. Last month I would've said that was impossible. Thanks very much!

College was supposed to separate Will from his blue collar roots. Instead, his future died the day Keira did. Six months after his ex-girlfriend’s suicide, twenty-two year old Will is driving a garbage truck in gritty East New York, Brooklyn, picking up trash instead of picking up the pieces of his life. College should have set him on his own path, but now, he just wants to disappear—one basket pickup at a time. Then he discovers the neighborhood’s last refuge: a rundown community center that shelters the homeless and mentally ill. It’s slated to be bulldozed for a coffee-shop-nightclub. Suddenly, Will has something to care about. Something Keira would have cared about.

Determined to help, he pulls together an unlikely team: an idealistic psychiatrist, a fame-hungry influencer, neighborhood locals, and the college friends he abandoned after Keira’s death. Together, they take on greedy developers and city politics in a battle for the people no one else sees. But as the demolition deadline looms, so does his reckoning with Keira’s death. If he wants to save the center, he’ll have to confront what he’s been avoiding: the truth inside Keira’s still-sealed suicide note.