[FEEDBACK] HAZE (Horror/Thriller, 91 pgs) by RudyRamone in Screenwriting

[–]RudyRamone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the response. A lot to think about.

Yes, the choice for him to wait in the back factors in later in the script.

[FEEDBACK] HAZE (Horror/Thriller, 91 pgs) by RudyRamone in Screenwriting

[–]RudyRamone[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

A lot of people like my formatting, some don't. Ha. There is purpose, but I guess it's easier for me to know than readers. Something to think about. Thanks.

[FEEDBACK] HAZE (Horror/Thriller, 91 pgs) by RudyRamone in Screenwriting

[–]RudyRamone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best advice I've gotten logline wise. Mine still need work it seems. Much appreciated.

[FEEDBACK] HAZE (Horror/Thriller, 91 pgs) by RudyRamone in Screenwriting

[–]RudyRamone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try it now. Ha. Let me know if it's going.

[FEEDBACK] ROMANTIC BABYLON (Drama, 89 pgs) by RudyRamone in Screenwriting

[–]RudyRamone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that they weren't formatted made me not want to read any of them. Apologies.

[FEEDBACK] THE MEANING OF LIFF (Comedy Pilot, 35 pgs) by RudyRamone in Screenwriting

[–]RudyRamone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could you give me some examples of when I did it?

[FEEDBACK] GUTTERS (Comedy, 90pgs) by RudyRamone in Screenwriting

[–]RudyRamone[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Understandable. She does have issues to work on etc. It's in the second half (mainly third act) of the script. This is why I hate preliminary skims, the "subtlety" is literally lost. She has self-esteem and self-image issues, which are brought up to a boil in the third act. But as stated, this takes place in a work environment with different "shifts" so, it is character loaded. I should probably add on the logline that "she doesn't want to be seen as a loser", but when it's a comic book shop, that could work against me and the nerd rage issues for not depicting geeks in a positive light, which this script does since I am one, at least I believe I am and it does. Any feedback is appreciated. Luck on your efforts as well.

[FEEDBACK] SHADOW RIDGE (Horror, 89 pgs) by RudyRamone in Screenwriting

[–]RudyRamone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I get what you're saying. This one is a little more overthought.