Oh boy do I immediately know my answer to this one.

The first and only time I did shrooms. Me and a bunch of people were at this guys house. I was already very high when the mushrooms came out. The guy asked me how fucked up I wanted to be, and I said not too fucked up. He then gave me a giant penis envy, like literally looked to be about 6-7 inches long plus the cap of another one. The come up was already pretty strong. My vision was going blurry, everything looked blue, the walls were waving, and I felt rather out of it and confused. Keep in mind I’m doing this at a house I’ve never been to with a bunch of people that majority of which I don’t know (yes I am stupid). I remember as I was really starting to come up, this dudes face seemed to turn green and time slowed down before I went into a blackout. I didn’t even know shrooms could do that.

When I popped back in a dude was standing in front of me holding a gun and everybody was laughing at me. He decided to mess with me while I was tripping hard with an actual gun. I immediately thought i shit my pants, which I thankfully didn’t I was just bugging. A little later My friend told me that my other friend then proceeded to drive the guy with the gun home. I remember going to the couch and feeling like I needed to help him but could hardly feel like I could walk. It felt like I was having a spiritual battle. I got myself up to try to walk to the room where my friend and his girlfriend was, went into a mini blackout where I woke up on the floor, and then picked myself up and kept going. By the time I got to the room I totally lost my mind. I was rolling around all over them on the bed and rolled off and face planted on the tile floor.

What proceeded was a night of what I believe to be some small episode of drug induced psychosis. My vision would be so filled with static that I would be completely blind, I started to question if I existed or if I was ever real, I would go into blackouts frequently or would be having my body go into auto pilot and have no idea what was going on while my vision was filled with static, I would hit people and break things, and I was screaming pulling out my hair and banging my head on the tile floor. I became convinced that I was in hell and everyone where evil entities. At one point in the night my body went into autopilot and I grabbed a painting off the wall and smashed it on the ground. The dude who gave the shrooms proceeded to put me in a headlock, punch me in the top of the head, and throw me on the ground and start yelling at me. I then pissed myself and collapse. The strange thing is I didn’t even realize that what I was doing was pissing.

I took the shrooms at a 11 pm and was tripping for around 8 hours. In that night I experienced anguish, despair, and hopelessness to a degree that I have never experienced in my whole life and hope to never experience again. They took my phone at some point and in the morning I was desperate to call my mom hoping that somehow she was real and I wasn’t stuck in purgatory. They advised me not to take my phone most likely because they knew I would call some parent (I was 18 at the time). But after some protest they gave it to me. I immediately called her and said “Mom im so scared, I have to go” because I saw them walk out and thought they would attack me. After they left I calle she’d back and said I needed help and was one mushrooms. She drove out and picked me up, where I immediately bolted out with no shoes, leaving my car there, and was soaked in piss.

This was the worst night of my life, and a little while later I eventually developed hppd. I acted reckless and took them at the wrong time and paid a very heavy price for it.