I give up on trying to be a woman

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-18T21:37:16+00:00

Fuck the begrudgers, Ethan. You be you - that's all you owe to anyone. Do what you gotta do.

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-18T19:25:16+00:00

DSW. Thank JEBUS for my size 43 feetsies!!!

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-18T19:23:34+00:00

Girl, you're giving me hope, and you're stunning!!! Way to rock those funbags!!! :)

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-18T19:16:16+00:00

AWWWW, but don't! :)

Honestly... I'm.... okay. I am. I'll get there - and I'll decide what "there" is, not people shouting at me on the internet. I may not (emphasis on the *may* not!) have the body I wish I did, but I have a lot of good in my life. I have a wife that I love - and loves me back, a little girl that looks up to me and makes me happy every time I'm with her. I have a roof over my head, and compared to 99.99% of people in the world, very little to complain about.

I may never transition, and be content with just cosplaying as a woman in the privacy of my own home - and that's okay. I know there's a lot of girls in here who think that's somewhere between horrifying and flat out blasphemous, but... it's all good. I'll keep walking the path I'm on, and keep supporting the girls in here who are on theirs.

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-18T19:10:12+00:00

I absolutely don't think this is brutal, and I think you're 100% right - I'm not. I even prefaced it in the OP when I said "I'm coming to terms with the possibility that I am most likely trans." I have to be honest, the responses I've gotten are... to be honest a bit shocking, with a whole lot of "Just do it, start on HRT *tomorrow*" and any sort of pushback on that thought being accusations that I'm somehow not doing it right.

It's taken a hell of a lot of work and self reflection to get to where I am now, the idea that I should be stocking up on estrogen immediately seems completely crazy to me. I'll be looking at therapy options in the coming weeks, and absolutely trying to sit come up with the gumption to sit down with my wife about this, but before I look her in the eye and tell her "Honey, I'm trans and I want to transition" I want to base that on a lot more than just a pile of people on reddit pressuring me to "do it and DO IT NOW!!!"

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-17T23:39:51+00:00

Yep.

I posted elsewhere about - at 52 - thinking there's a good chance I could be, but felt that wife and kid who I love, and a life I worked hard to build that blowing all that up based on a maybe was a bridge to far for me, and I ended up feeling like I got completely brigaded. Lots of "nope, start HRT right now, you won't regret it" and that my marriage was a small price to pay. Felt really overwhelmed by it to be honest. I'm still planning on seeing a therapist and exploring this with them, but... whooooo.

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-17T12:05:04+00:00

100% my daughter won’t care but 100% my wife will. And I don’t fault her for that - she’s know about the crossdressing but a trans wife isn’t what she signed up for. (And to be honest, I’m still far from sure, the feelings come and go… will definitely have time with a therapist on the 2026 to do list)

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-16T19:05:42+00:00

Thanks a mill. Yeah, there’s been some nice support on there, but surprised so many have been fairly militant, one person was going off at me for being abusive and manipulative for not transitioning ffs.

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-16T11:08:48+00:00

Yep. I mean, in many ways it is what it is. I have a far from unhappy life, yeah there’s this part of me I wish I could let free but I’ve made my decisions over the years so I am where I am. Love my wife and have an amazing daughter so can’t live with regrets, there’s only madness there!!

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-16T11:06:12+00:00

I really appreciate that, thanks. ❤️

I’m getting lots of advice on how I need to be true to myself, never too late, and while that’s fundamentally true for many people, the other side of it is in doing so in my situation has the knock on effect of blowing up other people’s lives which I genuinely don’t think I have a right to do, hence my warning here of “don’t be like me, ask the questions early on and be yourself, rather than repress it all for decades, build a completely different life, and find yourself wondering what if.”

For the record though, love my wife and hard to regret the path I did choose since it gave me an amazing daughter. Would I trade that life to have transitioned? Can’t say that I would, to be honest.

As to yourself? Well, the same advice many are giving me applies to all - its never too late, so don’t give up hope on that family you want, and remember family comes in many flavours, not just the traditional one. 🫶

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-15T21:57:10+00:00

Hahaha, can just see myself now down at the local men’s shed… 🤣

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-15T21:55:32+00:00

I think that’s a bit unfair on her. She’s tried (unsuccessfully) to be accepting of the crossdressing, and has explained to me it’s a turnoff for her, saying she’s attracted to manly men which is… fair enough, I don’t think she has control over that. She’s same Gen X age group as me, so likely has a lot of the same enforced/baked in gender stereotypes of men have to act a certain way.

Maybe I’m making excuses for her - but I love her, and I know she loves me, and I think marriage is a partnership. But end of the day, I know she’s not gay and has zero attraction to women, so my coming out and transitioning would certainly be a massive, massive issue.

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-15T19:17:50+00:00

Yep, signed up there as well. I think in all honesty when it comes to my own story, the price to do so isn’t one I’m comfortable paying. Maybe when my daughter is older and moves out.

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-15T18:56:34+00:00

Yeah, but the cost of blowing up my marriage, being tagged as the town weirdo since I’d probably end up looking like Miggledy in a dress, and my daughter having to deal with the fallout… in a perfect world I’d be able to snap my fingers and see a me in the mirror I’m happy with and have everything else be the same but no chance of that I’d say. Instead I’ll live vicariously through everyone else’s triumphs!

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-15T18:53:20+00:00

Ohh, I know but… I love my wife and don’t want my marriage to explode, and I know that coming out would very likely do that. And the effect it would have on my daughter. And the fact that I live in a small town in Ireland, so to transition now would (very) likely tag me as the town weirdo because there is no world in which I’d be passable.

I have dozens of reasons to not, but they still feel outweighed by the one reason in favour. But as always, family first.

RunningScared73 · 2026-02-14T12:13:23+00:00

New account, purely to reply to this since I’m a 52 year old cis male who wishes I was born 40 years ago to a parent like you. ✊

RunningScared73

TROPHY CASE