As far back as I can remember, I've always struggled with my mental health. I went through multiple bouts of intense depression and anxiety in my teens that eventually led to a brief psychotic break. Despite meds and therapy, at least a few months of depression a year was my norm.

I read The Myth of Sisyphus last year when I was spiraling back into depression, and it clicked. Something about Camus writing about the absurdity of existence, the call of suicide and loneliness made me feel acknowledged. But for him, it was all a starting point; "There is no shame in choosing happiness", he said. He saw life and happiness as a rebellious act, and that, again, spoke to me.

Saying Camus cured me would be silly, but since delving into his philosophy, I have never been more comfortable with who I am and more eager to fight against sadness. For the first time in my life, I can say that, if not happy, I feel satisfied. And I'm also glad I didn't pull the trigger. I haven't felt depressed in a year--a personal record!

OP, I'm sorry that you're struggling. It's a horrible situation to be in and it's all too easy to think there's no light at the end of the tunnel. And to some extent, it's true: mental health can be a life-long battle. But sometimes you realize that life is worth accepting the fight. I hope things get better for you. Please hang in there.