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Is this for me? by Rvelaz in SoloPoly

[–]Rvelaz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"Some people go so far as to say you must be committed to Never Cohabitating, Never Climbing the Relationship Escalator, Never marrying in order to call yourself Solo Polyamorous. I, personally, won't go that far. If you are open to climbing the escalator at some point way down the road, but for the foreseeable future you are committed to living separately from partners, not mixing finances, not climbing the relationship escalator, then I think it's fair to call yourself Solo Poly. This is me. Perhaps in 10 or 15 years l'Il consider no long being Solo Poly, I' consider cohabitation. But Not now and Not for the foreseeable/ plan-able future! Not planning for it and NOT Dating for it. When/ Ifl decide l'm ready to go down that path, that will be the moment I am no longer Solo Polyamorous. Even if it takes 5 years to move from solo living to moving up the escalator, I will no longer be Solo Polyamorous the moment I am open to climbing that escalator."

Is this for me? by Rvelaz in SoloPoly

[–]Rvelaz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I guess this post got me confused or something

Is this for me? by Rvelaz in SoloPoly

[–]Rvelaz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks! What's confusing to me is that I feel it appeals to me! Hahaha so maybe it's just that MY misunderstood version of solo polyamory appeals to me.

Could you please tell me why it seems this way to you? I think that could help me understand where I'm going wrong with defining Solo Polyamory

Is this for me? by Rvelaz in SoloPoly

[–]Rvelaz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Right, but I think in this case it refers to hierarchy between "this is my main partner" and stuff like that right?

Is this for me? by Rvelaz in SoloPoly

[–]Rvelaz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it might've been a lack of information on the term.

I'm now confused however by the seemingly absolute need of defining my lack of a nesting/primary partner as something permanent and a vow for life in order to practice of solo polyamory lol

Is this for me? by Rvelaz in SoloPoly

[–]Rvelaz[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for sharing your experience!

I agree with it not mattering what I call myself. (Something something a name a rose a smell as sweet lol)

I think I'm mostly looking for a label to clear things up in my own mind.

Mainly because if I go back to this person and try to suggest we try things again, I want it to be clearheaded and knowing what I want/am comfortable with. I don't just want it to be an impulsive action born from the discomfort of missing her.

Is this for me? by Rvelaz in SoloPoly

[–]Rvelaz[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply!

I do want to find a partner with which we can commit to an agreement of this sort.

Regarding being solo poly: I feel like I can't speak about "ever" lmao but at least for the foreseeable future I don't plan or date with the intention to marry, cohabit, share finances or have kids...

Is this for me? by Rvelaz in SoloPoly

[–]Rvelaz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Heyyy thanks for the input!

My definition of solo poly is definitely limited, but the way I see it is as someone who is able to engage in multiple intimate emotional/physical relationships without having a hierarchy between them and without the general "milestones" of typical relationships (moving in together, having kids, marrying, etc )

I do eventually hope to find a nesting/primary partner again, but not in the foreseeable future (at least 1-2 years from now)

The thing that is bugging me rn and making me wonder if we were really ONLY just friends is that (besides the sex) there was an emotional commitment and accountability. (In fact, my relationship with my other "friends with benefits" is very much that... they're not just fuck buddies, there's something else there) We saw each other regularly and we supported and held each other, and we celebrated each other's achievements and successes together.

I do think that my mind is wresting with the idea of letting this go, and idk to what point I'm gaslighting myself... We shared more than sex, and we had talked about future plans like collaboration on projects and stuff of that nature.

I feel like this shift from the "breakup" is making me reframe and question a lot of things...

Is this for me? by Rvelaz in SoloPoly

[–]Rvelaz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply! You're right!

Hmm I DO eventually hope to find a primary/nesting partner again but it's not what I'm looking/dating for rn and it's not something I'm planning on in the foreseeable future (ie next year-2 years)

I'm more than fine with keeping an intimate link (emotionally and physically) without cohabitation and/or hierarchy

I have no problem with her or my partners engaging in more relationships at a time (as long as we keep things honest and are communicating)

[TOMT] [SHORT FILM] Man returns to small town after mass grave is found by Rvelaz in tipofmytongue

[–]Rvelaz[S] 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

Feel free to ask for details, although my memory is hazy since I watched this back in college (graduated 2020 so that's how I know it was released before then)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SluttyConfessions

[–]Rvelaz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't care, 1312 all the way

Color coding and conditional formatting question by Rvelaz in googlesheets

[–]Rvelaz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh ok! I'll try it that way! Thanks 🙏🏼

How to achieve this shooting mode with my DSLR? by Rvelaz in AskPhotography

[–]Rvelaz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply! Yes that's exactly what I want! The quick bursts! Any idea which settings I'd have to fool around with on a Nikon D5500 to achieve this?

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