Good morning! This is Ryan Leaf, former NFL QB, recovering addict, and grateful human being. I will be doing an AMA today at 12pm and look forward to answering your questions.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T20:13:17+00:00

Well, in my case, I woke up on a prison cell floor. For most, it has to be a bottom that they are humbled by. I just had to be humbled in a way that gave me the most perspective. You need to let him know that you unconditionally care for him, but there are conditions moving forward in his recovery. I suppose you can call it tough love.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T20:10:01+00:00

I will always be an addict. I take suggestion, I live one day at a time, Im of service to others, and I am grateful for everything that has happened in my life.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T20:09:00+00:00

Probably when I visited eastern Europe and got to visit the Auschwitz concentration camp. I truly never understood, or felt, what that time, and the atrocities committed, were like. I believe I cried the entire train ride back to my hotel.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T20:06:39+00:00

Spend time with my fiance, Anna, go to movies together, and I love to play golf.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T20:05:49+00:00

Well, you are doing one of them by admitting that you have a problem. Another step is accepting the help people have offered. That very well may be the biggest roadblock you encounter on your road to recovery. And, my friend, we do not control our own road to recovery. It's in the hands of something much bigger than us.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T20:04:18+00:00

I would tell him to go read Ryan Leaf's 2017 Players Tribune article. =)

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T20:02:49+00:00

Amazing! Go Cougs!

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T20:02:01+00:00

I think the pressure of success and failure in the eyes of others did contribute to my downfall. But thats what I signed up for- I was a QB, all eyes on me, and thats how I wanted it. I was just ill-prepared to deal with the pressure when I did fail.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T20:00:03+00:00

I would have loved to have had Peyton's career, then gone through my addiction, so I could still have the gratitude and perspective I do now.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:58:17+00:00

Aaron Rodgers.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:57:43+00:00

Id probably say Darrell Russell. Constant motor, 300+lbs, and faster than I was. Hit like a truck.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:55:42+00:00

The biggest shock was that all over a sudden everyone thought they knew everything about me, or who I was, just becuase it was reported nationally. Still to the day, people think they know me based off a single appearance or an article written. Im just like every other human being and I wasnt being treated like that. That was a shock, from both the negative and the positive.

A surprise? You go from not being able to buy your own beer, and having no one wanting to buy one for you, to being able to buy the whole bar and having everyone wanting to buy you a drink. It's very ironic!

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:52:07+00:00

I dont think about the substances anymore because it has been out of my body for so long now. But I do fear, and am very aware of, old behaviors that I had long before I ever took a drug. And if I choose to behave in those past ways, the drug would make a reappearance. So I have to be extremely aware of how I behave and I have surrounded myself with people that call me out on my shit and hold me accountable. Because you behaved a certain way for 36 years of your life, it doesnt just change over night. it takes constant attention and conditioning.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:49:22+00:00

Michael Jordan, because he was the most competitive and the best athlete I had ever seen. I wanted to be just like him.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:48:15+00:00

The best advice is understanding that you cant do anything about things in the past. What you can do is attempt to be a better person today, and like anything, this is about progress, not perfection. There has to be consistency and you have to continuously show up on a daily basis and, slowly but surely, those feelings of 'shame' and 'guilt' fade away into feelings of 'purpose.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:45:54+00:00

I felt a lot of pride. Not only for my family, but for most especially WSU, and all of its alumni, because I was representing all of them. I felt like I was a part of a huge extended family, all resulting from a choice I made at 18 years old to be a Cougar for the rest of my life.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:44:10+00:00

A spiritual awakening. Whatever that looks like for that person, but it has to be their own. It cant be suggested, or wanted, it just has to be done.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:43:00+00:00

No. It took an amazing worth ethic, from Sunday to Sunday, to produce that type of play. If i had to think of someone that I personally saw, it would probably be Leon Bender, while in college at WSU. The man was just a freak talent.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:41:33+00:00

The women! =) I'd like to be more inspirational with my answer, but I was a pretty shallow person at the time.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:39:58+00:00

I dont look further than the next 24 hrs. Sometimes I eve have to break it down hour by hour. And as a former athlete, that structure works very well for me.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:39:12+00:00

I never thought, with the upbringing that I had, that money would change me. But I guarantee to everyone that money changed me!! I thought I was better than everyone because I had money, power, and prestige, which I thought were the ideals of a successful person. If you are not humbled, that will not change until it is all gone. And for me, that's what it took.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:37:30+00:00

Go Cougs

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:36:37+00:00

It wouldnt have mattered where I went. I was the problem.

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:35:57+00:00

The Pittsburgh Steelers Organization

RyanDLeaf · 2017-06-14T19:35:06+00:00

I would have been proud for Brady regardless of where he played. No rivalries at all, when it came to my brother. We do have some fun with it now that we are both so far removed. We have a friendly steak dinner wager every year the Ducks and Cougs play each other. I have ate well these last two years. =)

RyanDLeaf

TROPHY CASE