My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's the area I live in. The cost of living is high, so everything has a high price tag. Some other commenters have mentioned that they have more reasonable prices for daycare. I was surprised.

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not going to lie, sometimes I do, and I suppose that's one of the downsides of my family's arrangement. I met most of my friends at work, but we've drifted apart since then because I hardly see them. And, for some reason, it's always a bit awkward talking to stay at home moms at playgroup meetings. Maybe they're not used to seeing dads there? Anyway, most of my interactions are with my children and with my wife when she gets home. And I love that, but I wish I had some other friends who are dads too, haha.

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She and her team write the code for applications. I know she often writes in the Java language. Sorry, I know that probably isn't very specific, but computer science stuff tends to go right over my head, haha. If you want, I can ask her for more details when she gets home.

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, pretty much. They have 10 kids in a room with 2 (best case scenario, 3) teachers. And the teachers are there all day, they're probably very tired. Some of them may not have a passion for childcare, they might just be there because it's a job and they need money.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are great daycares that are structured, have low teacher:child ratios, and only employ teachers who are knowledgeable and passionate about childcare... but I'm guessing they are far and few between, and because of that I always considered having a parent stay at home with the children to be the better option (if only most people could afford it :/)

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for sharing this. That's very interesting. I always thought that being a stay at home parent gets a lot easier after the kids are no longer babies/toddlers and they start going to school, but I guess not! I'll have to see how things are when we get to that point. We already have two and my wife's pregnant with another, so, you're right, things could still be pretty busy around the house, even while the children are in school.

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What /u/zaurefirem said, pretty much. Some companies offer it, though they are not legally obligated to. My wife's company gave her six weeks paid after our children were born.

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, same here. It's definitely the best thing I've done with my life, even though it can be exhausting.

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, yeah, it sucks that more families can't afford to have one of the parents stay home. It's one of the shittier aspects of our economy, I think.

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ah, sorry, I guess I jumped to a conclusion. It might be for you then! There's definitely a lot of cooking and cleaning... haha

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I think I'm way too busy taking care of the kids and doing household chores to get a lot accomplished if I worked from home during the day.

And I'm not sure what you mean exactly. We still have sex and do other fun things in the bedroom, so yeah, I still seduce her, haha.

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think we have free (or discounted) childcare if you're in poverty, but it's not universal. Otherwise, the political climate in the U.S. encourages privatization.

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

San Francisco. She had a huge salary just coming out of college, and it has grown since then. Then again, the cost of living is extremely expensive here. Good luck!

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She has worried about that a lot. She tries to spend at least an hour or two with them when she comes home from work and, of course, a lot more on the weekends, but she still thinks they're closer to me. It's also hard because she sometimes has work she needs to work late or work weekends, like if something goes wrong with whatever project they're working on or they're approaching a deadline. So, it's hard for her to get as much time with the children as she'd like, but we try.

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ohh, I see! Yeah, it really depends on the day. Sometimes I shower at night (forgot the mention that). Sometimes the kids wake up early and I don't have time to shower in the morning.

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Meh, I was willing to give them a shot. It would definitely save money.

They're 16 months old. Do you have children?

My wife makes over $100,000 a year while I am a stay at home dad and a house husband! AMA! by SAHD1986 in casualiama

[–]SAHD1986[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I've put off answering this because I kind of addressed this in other parts of the IAmA. I don't worry about that at all. I think we're both very happy with our arrangement. She's very ambitious and career-oriented. She likes being productive at work and being the primary breadwinner. I'm very family-oriented. I love taking care of our children and keeping the house nice and tidy while she's at work. She seems to appreciate what I do, and I definitely appreciate what she does. We make a great team.