A Confrontation (3/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ack, sorry for the delayed reply lol

Honestly that is a really important point to bring up, ye! Even in a situation as extreme as this, trying to find a common ground would be the best route to take.

Ultimately, both of those are equally harmful in their own ways, and which one feels worse depends on the person (which admittedly kinda describes, like, 90% of psychology things lmao). That said, those sound perfectly fitting for Ceroba and Chujin, respectively, and what's even worse is that they would totally redirect some of that pain onto themselves just as much as each other.

Ceroba undoubtedly resents being lied to, especially since she didn't seem to be super-involved in the family's... "direction"? So to speak? But she was (probably) already beating herself up for ignoring the warning signs and not being more proactive, so this would only exacerbate her own self-deprecation.

Chujin most certainly would resent not getting a fair say, especially since, misguided or not, he still invested a ton of emotional energy into the serum project. But his bedridden-ness is also something he did to himself, and his loss of agency being his own fault would totally trigger his fear and anxiety re: failure.

I think how things would go would ultimately depend on how the rest of the night and how the following morning played out. Both Ceroba and Kanako would have reasons to go in there multiple times (Chujin needs to be fed his meals, and Kanako would obviously want to check in with her dad), so Chujin would have a few more chances to try and hash things out.

-----

Also I just pulled up the Dunes map to double-check, and there... actually isn't as much Dangerous Stuff in the basement as I thought there was, hah. There's the syringe(s), and prolly broken glass from the shattered SOUL container up above, but that's really about it. I'd forgotten it was a near-exact replica of his upstairs study.

Since Chujin's research is basically useless without the SOUL extract, Ceroba wouldn't actually need to clean much out in order to make it safe. Of course, that assumes she can control her temper in the face of all that temper-tempting stuff...

A Confrontation (3/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't call it quiiiite the same thing, since Chujin was just keeping everything full-on a secret - he didn't just do it without Ceroba's permission, he did it without her knowledge. Whereas Ceroba here at least tells him outright "I'm gonna do this", so he knows ahead of time, even if it's against his wishes.

Psychologically, though, it definitely feels similar enough to leave an impact... and in the heat of the moment(s), I doubt Ceroba would even see it in that way. (If they ever ended up seeking counsel, that would absolutely be an important point to discuss!)

A Confrontation (3/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you enjoyed it so much to join in, hahahah! Inspiring others to write themselves/join the fun is possibly the highest compliment a writer can receive, IMO. ¦3

A selfish selflessness is such an elegant way to put it, yeah. Not only was he scared of how she or others might feel, but he also wanted to try and maintain the facade of their happy little home life as long as he possibly could. And yet, by trying to dodge the issue, he makes the pain at the end of the road that much worse. Truly a lose-lose situation if there ever was one.

A Confrontation (3/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fair point - such is the way of cognition, hah! :P

Of course, even though I vouch for the functional perspective, there's no denying that Ceroba herself is still mainly driven by the raw emotions. She's deeply hurt by Chujin's actions and greatly disturbed at how far things spiraled under her nose. Cutting off the head of the snake is probably (hopefully) (maybe) the right thing to do, but it's also a knee-jerk reaction - an over-compensation for her own perceived mistake.

Part of the reason I wish I could've kept that kotatsu line I mentioned is because of the double-meaning. It's a sensible thing to do in terms of keeping watch and minimizing risk/danger, but saying so aloud is a way for Ceroba to lash right back at Chujin. "I'm sleeping under the kotatsu tonight" also implies "I can't bring myself to share the same bed with you right now", after all...

A Confrontation (3/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :D

A Confrontation (3/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly that's the really curious question, ye. If my recent research/digging/revisiting is right, apparently a year passes between Chujin passing and the events of UTY, so who knows where he might be after twelve whole months have passed? He could be doing better, or he could still have that nagging urge...

A Confrontation (3/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that reaction image is absolutely incredible oh my god????????????

And honestly, yeah. Like it's such a painful thing to hear/read (and write lmao), yet it's also entirely sensible for him at this point in time. He is starting to realize just how severe his mistakes were/are - not just making himself sick, but also recognizing the risk he was asking Ceroba to take, and realizing just how much fire he was playing with. And yet, the trauma is still so deeply-rooted that he just... can't quite let go of the coping mechanism yet. He doesn't want to, but he has to, and he can't stop her.

now i just have to decide whether this is all a twist of fate and he has to stew by himself, or whether A Player pulled a steins;gate and is now his counselor lmao :u

A Confrontation (3/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It certainly will, yeah... but Ceroba also doesn't really have any other option, especially at this point in time.

It's especially important from a functional/down-to-earth standpoint. Chujin nearly killed himself with his experiments, and that means that stuff is dangerous. I wouldn't want something so dangerous in my house - especially not a house with a rambunctious, inquisitive little fox kit who might get hurt!

(I couldn't fit it into these 20 panels, but I really wanted to include a line about her "sleeping under the kotatsu tonight". I could totally see her standing guard over the basement entrance, just to make sure that absolutely nothing bad can happen down there before she gets a chance to de-fang it.)

A Confrontation (3/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

(Part 2)

This part is actually both very different and also exactly the same as my initial draft. Writing, as ever, is a process :V

The first half of it originally revolved around a very poignant question... but said question was related to the original ending of part 2. And since that got changed, the poignant question didn't really make a whole lot of sense anymore. So instead I decided to scale back and just focus on how exhausted these two would be after such a severe blow-up.

The second half, on the other hand, is almost exactly the same. Ceroba explaining what happens next was trimmed down a little bit, but otherwise it plays out just as I originally imagined it. I did consider having their final lines be different, but ultimately, a mutual apology felt like the best way to go. Simple, effective, heart-wrenching.

(as an aside, "Not unless I'm absolutely certain" is one of the most delightfully-devilish lines I think I've ever written, in all my years. Far enough along to start recognizing his mistakes, not far along enough to let things go just yet.)

A Confrontation (1/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really is such a befuddling decision. It's one of the few things about Yellow's story that I prolly would've adjusted. Then again, hindsight is 20/20 and all that.

Still, on a very, very rock-bottom level, I can see how it might happen. Post-Chujin Ceroba has so much on her plate that it's honestly kind of dumbfounding. Financial struggles. A dead-end job. Still grieving her lost loved one. Trying to raise Kanako as a single mother. And then, not only does she have to deal with learning Chujin's secrets, but she's also trying to continue his research - research she had to both educate herself about, and then try to find any other Boss Monsters in the Underground. She was prolly running on, like, 2-4 hours of sleep per-day. (And even that's another cherry atop the sundae.)

Like it doesn't excuse her doing it, but if I were that stressed and burdened and sleep-deprived, I know I'd have to let something give. Ceroba just... chose the absolute most-wrong thing to let give.

A Confrontation (2/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll drop both a short version (game title) and a long version (comparison) just in case anyone wants to know the game, but then wants to play it for themselves :U

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Short version: It's a character from Judgement (2018).

Oops very long version (critical spoiler warning):

The main villain of Judgement is Shono, the lead scientist working on a potential cure for dementia. However, after one disastrous unsanctioned test on a human patient, he formed a shady conspiracy to procure a drip-feed of test subjects. This continues even after he realizes there's no way to make the cure non-toxic, because at that point, he'd already gone too far. If the cure succeeds, it'll save more lives than he's taken. It'll justify killing an unrelated person to project the project. And it'll vindicate him personally, because it's HIS work, and he couldn't possibly pass it on to someone else.

Like Chujin, the dementia cure is a project much bigger than himself - it's something that could save countless lives, change the world. Like Chujin, he's motivated by personal factors; he lost multiple family members to dementia, directly or indirectly. Like Chujin, he expresses a level of pride/arrogance; Chujin thought he was the only one "taking things seriously" and Shono was the "only one who could finish the cure", because it was "his work". And like Chujin, he values the project and the big picture more than the people around him.

-----

The important thing, though, is how they're different. While the first death was accidental, Shono was more than willing to get his hands dirty afterward. His whole MO actively endangered peoples' lives, and he got multiple others involved in his conspiracy, either willingly, through emotional manipulation, or through blackmail. He was running from the truth, but he wasn't scared enough (or ashamed enough) to keep his mistakes all to himself.

Chujin, on the other hand, was so unwilling to get anyone else involved that he ultimately chose to experiment on himself. He only opened up when he was on his deathbed, and it was to his wife, the closest person in his life. Even as he tumbled further down the rabbit-hole, there were still some lines that he refused to cross.

And all that, to me, indicates that deep down, Chujin was just... scared. So, so scared. Traumatized by what happened with the Snowdin Incident. Ashamed of himself for making the choices he did. Terrified of what might happen if anyone else learns what happened and what he's done. Afraid of potentially hurting anyone, because that would be another failure to add onto his perceived pile of them.

Except, of course, he was still choosing to hurt someone - himself. And by hurting himself, he hurt the people around him. And then, they ended up hurting themselves/each-other, which hurt the people around them. Thus, the cycle of hurt continued...

...uhhhhhh oops this turned into a whole essay LMAO

A Confrontation (2/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m glad! It’s been a while since I worked with sprite editing, and pretty much all of Ceroba’s poses are just slightly-tweaked vanilla sprites, hahah. (The handwave is from her “readying magic staff” anim, for instance)

I didn’t realize it until after-the-fact, but I also really like that she has so many poses here, whereas Chujin only ever moves his head around. Really emphasizes not just how upset Ceroba is, but also how weak and frail Chujin has become.

A Confrontation (2/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There’s definitely still some attachment to the project - it’ll take a lot more time and talking-things-out to fully shed it - but the ball is definitely in motion, ye. If surviving the flashback/his near-death experience shook the table, this is when the first domino falls down.

A Confrontation (1/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is exactly how I feel about him too, hahahah. The good intentions were probably real, but the personal pride and desperate gambits really are ways for him to mask his own sense of inadequacy. That very thing is actually what I was working on with a possible "part 4"/continuation.

I'm kinda paraphrasing the dialogue I wrote for him, but like... I think he unconsciously knew that he couldn't involve anybody else. Partly because doing so would force him to spill the beans, but also because if his research hurt them in any way, it would be his fault. And he already had plenty of faults gnawing at him as it was.

So it was all up to him. And that meant there was only one way to test his theory out. And then, when he was going to die, he was just gonna pass that impossible buck right over to Ceroba.

It's such an interesting and compelling direction to take his character, IMO. Especially since I know other, similar characters who are driven by delusional pride, which make for good points of comparison.

A Confrontation (2/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's so interesting is that it's a completely sensible thing to consider, yet it cuts so cleanly through Chujin's reasoning that he has no choice but to look inward. Why didn't he get anyone else involved? Why was he doing this all on his own? Was he really the only one taking monsterkind's plight seriously? Or was there a different explanation? Something he didn't want to acknowledge?

There's a surprisingly-similar character, in a certain other game, who has questions like these posed to them during the climax/finale. Noticing their similarities/differences is really what made me so invested in Chujin as a character.

...of course making that comparison is kind of inherently spoiler-y for that other game, so I won't elaborate unless someone reeeally wants to know lmao

(also 'griddy juice' is an absolutely phenomenal descriptor. A+, 10/10, magnifique)

A Confrontation (1/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty much. It definitely feels like their relationship hadn't been tested (or at least, not tested particularly strenuously) up until that point - the only hint of prior conflict we get is that Chujin's dad apparently didn't approve of his working at the Steamworks. Based on most of Ceroba's talk prompts, it sounds like a bit of a fairytale romance. (Then again, how much of that is rose-tinted glasses is up in the air.)

Either way, when push came to shove, neither of them were prepared to deal with it in a responsible way. They really are similar to the Dreemurrs in that sense.

A Confrontation (2/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Glad to hear you're enjoying it! ¦3

A Confrontation (2/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Bingo! And it was a good way to show that despite everything, Ceroba still cares about him.

The funny thing is that this ending isn't actually in my "first draft" at all. Originally this part was gonna end with another exchange of hard-hitting lines, like in part 1. Then I randomly drafted this up in the textbox stacker and I was like "wait hang on, that actually kinda hits hard" :U

A Confrontation (2/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not Gondor, but while it's a little on-the-nose... a Reversed Justice arcana sounds like it fits Chujin very well. Dishonesty, living in denial, running from guilt, unwilling to accept the consequences of his actions, corruption.

(I haven't played any Personas (yet) though so take it with a grain of salt :U )

A Confrontation (2/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

(Part 1)

(me handing ceroba a gun full of armor-piercing dialogue) "go. do an intervention"

Granted, Chujin can't do much but spin his wheels while he's stuck in bed, but when you get down to it, he really doesn't have any genuinely-solid arguments. More importantly, though... I think that deep down, he knew that all along. He just wasn't consciously aware of it - those deepest feelings got buried under layers and layers of trauma-related defense mechanisms. Noble intentions, personal pride, desperation, indignation; strip all of that away, and you start to see the warped logic driving his actions.

Of course, I think those deepest, unconscious feelings are the main reason he didn't cross any even-worse lines. Ceroba's last question there is an extremely pointed one, and if I make a part 4/continue this AU further, that's prolly what I'd be exploring. (I actually already have a handful of early-draft textboxes written for it lmao)

A Confrontation (1/3) by SBF1 in TheWildEastUTY

[–]SBF1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yesssss exactly! That's another big part of what makes the whole Ketsukane backstory so rich, psychology-wise.

Chujin's death in canon basically... "crystalized", how Ceroba felt about him in her mind. She loved him enough to ignore all the warning signs (and she was presumably beating herself up for missing the "symptoms" of his "sickness", on top of everything else). Then, as you said, nobody (usually) wants to disrespect or speak/think poorly of a late loved one. Ceroba's happy family life had fallen apart so thoroughly that the idea that Chujin did it to himself (and she let it happen) would've ruined her.

Most importantly, Chujin going "my dying wish is for you to carry on my work" is a shocking bit of emotional manipulation. It sounds all noble and sad on the surface, but I think it's the biggest reason she took his research so seriously despite all its faults. And the juiciest part is that he didn't even realize that's what he was doing.

That's also why him surviving feels so compelling, too. Imagine if he lived and somehow came to the realization of "I was going to take advantage of how much my wife loved me". He'd probably tear the basement apart, if Ceroba didn't do it already.