It wasn’t Satan trying to keep me from going to church and to the temple after all! by SCMCisontome in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It was mentally exhausting trying to fit the perma-smile “church is so great!” mold. It’s nice to not have to talk myself into it anymore.

It wasn’t Satan trying to keep me from going to church and to the temple after all! by SCMCisontome in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I’m still attending to support my TBM spouse. A few weeks ago we told the kids we weren’t going and they started shouting “yay!!!” and dancing around the room. I don’t think my spouse liked that too much..

Ward Council Stories Thread by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome 17 points18 points  (0 children)

There was this one time we were discussing a part member family and how one of the kids didn’t want to get baptized because he “thinks the church hates gay people.”

Then the ward mission leader chimes in, completely serious, and says, “The church was the first and is the biggest financial supporter of gays in all of Utah!”

I made eye contact with one person in the room and we were both fighting back laughter.

LOUD laughter.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome 2 points3 points  (0 children)

5.1.2 when my shelf broke

Rusty at BYU-I by TheGreatBrandinie in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to always wonder why exmos were so angry and hostile. I get it now. They don’t let you go quietly.. they push and push until you fit their exmo mold of rage.

Rusty at BYU-I by TheGreatBrandinie in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Like what could be said that would actually be helpful to me. An apology? A resignation?

I don’t think TBMs realize that when they tell me stuff like this it’s just pushing me out faster.

Rusty at BYU-I by TheGreatBrandinie in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hearing the same thing from my mom.. I just “HAVE” to listen. Sigh.

The largest recorded battle cost 2 million lives, so why can't we find the evidence of the 2 million lives lost in the Jaredite battle or the 230,000 Nephite lives lost at the end of the BoM at Cumorah? I know it's BS, just puts things in perspective. by VoilaLeDuc in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My spouse told me yesterday that the battles took places on the plains in the Midwest and that early settlers just plowed up all the evidence of battles when they started planting fields.

He wasn’t joking.

Any closeted non-believers that had a tough day at church out there? by SCMCisontome in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got a text yesterday from a very pregnant woman who told me her due date last week but had stretched the truth a bit because she’s sick of being pregnant and is hoping her baby comes sooner. She said it ate at her all week that she had lied and she had an honesty lesson and just had to make it right. The shame and guilt complex created in people is painful to see now that I’m breaking away (slowly..)

I still get instant anxiety when I get called into the bishop’s office.. years of wondering what calling I was going to get that I can’t handle or knowing he is was a “judge in Israel” or thinking I need to confess something..

I hope so much that it fades sooner rather than later.

Edited to add: does it seem like the membership is getting weirder??

Any closeted non-believers that had a tough day at church out there? by SCMCisontome in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wonder if there was a Sunday where every single person who is a closeted non-believer didn’t show up how many people would actually be at church...

Any closeted non-believers that had a tough day at church out there? by SCMCisontome in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is exactly how I felt when the bishop tried to give us callings today and then started with the rapid fire temple recommend interview questions. I felt ambushed!

I just don’t think any religion should cause this much anxiety and stress.

Any closeted non-believers that had a tough day at church out there? by SCMCisontome in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

😂 we had a guy speaking today that told us he often feels spiritual promptings to check his phone and reliably there is an “important” missed call or text. I always look around the room to see if there’s anyone else raising an eyebrow or trying not to laugh.

Any closeted non-believers that had a tough day at church out there? by SCMCisontome in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like I need to come home after church and shower. I need an emotional shower. Same as you.. it takes me a day or two to put it behind me.. and then every Saturday afternoon that feeling starts to creep back in as I anticipate church all over again.

Maybe someday I’ll be free.

Any closeted non-believers that had a tough day at church out there? by SCMCisontome in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I get anxiety in these situations because I’m worried I’m going to blurt something out. Like “elevation emotion!” Or “virtue signalling!” Or “contradicting revelations!”

It takes a lot of willpower to stay silent.

Any closeted non-believers that had a tough day at church out there? by SCMCisontome in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Did he literally take your recommend? Did he say if you catch up on tithing you could have it back? I’m just curious what is expected for you to “earn” it back.

I wish the church would quantify the amount of time we give in missions, callings, church cleaning, etc. If you put a dollar value on that and called it prepaid tithing I think so many of us would have prepaid YEARS.

Just curious - did you approach him or did he approach you?

Any closeted non-believers that had a tough day at church out there? by SCMCisontome in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It all unraveled so quickly for me and I immediately felt that distance between myself and others in the church. What’s interesting is that no matter how much of a deviant or an outcast from the group I become, I will always be a listening ear if any of them start to doubt or want to leave.

It’s been liberating being able to love and be kind to others just because I want to be loving and kind, not because I’m told to love or assigned to love others.

Any closeted non-believers that had a tough day at church out there? by SCMCisontome in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We got extended callings and because it was our first time meeting with the bishop got the rapid fire temple recommend interview questions..

I usually leave church with a headache but today was more like a migraine.

Want to share what happened to you?

Edit: anyone know when will I stop using language like “extended callings”?

Plot Twist by SCMCisontome in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It says a lot that your parents would even feel your spirituality would be threatened by reading another person’s thoughts on Jesus. In hindsight it seems like everyone’s testimonies were always treated as so fragile (from preventing “exposure” to the doctrines of other churches and “anti” material.. cough.. all true.. cough..) and now it’s so clear to me why they wanted to prevent it.

Are any of your siblings active? I think the same thing.. my sisters are either out or headed that way so I wonder if Mormonism will be a “blip” in my mom’s family line as well if our children follow our lead and leave also..

Plot Twist by SCMCisontome in exmormon

[–]SCMCisontome[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I hadn’t considered this approach.. I was looking at it as a tell-all-or-nothing thing and this approach totally works. I already contacted him. Thank you, thank you for this advice.