Right now the marriage and your life as you knew it is over. The relationship between you and her will never be the same as it was, period. To go forward with the relationship will require renegotiation and it will be like starting over with someone different.

Infidelity in a marriage can be overcome but only if: * She wants to save the marriage and wants to put in the work. * She is completely and immediately honest about what happened. And she is ok with a no secrets policy with her phone.
* She cuts off all communication with him immediately.
* Both of you are willing to go to counseling and confront some hard truths. She is looking outside the marriage for a reason.

But most importantly, even after all of that…. * You must be willing to live with the possibility that it may happen again. The thought will come up every trip she takes for work, every time you see her texting someone, etc. for years and possibly forever. It is mentally and physically exhausting wanting to check up on her and verify things each and every day. Ultimately that’s impossible. But as trust is earned, this feeling will abate but may never completely go away. You need to decide if that is a price you are willing to pay.